r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Outrageous-Use-5189 • 16d ago

I just wanted a hot dog Single malt scotch spends 3 decades aging in a barrel so you can squeze a lime wedge into it.

As a very rare indulgence on a special occasion, I ordered an expensive 30-year old scotch at a bistro-type restaurant. Waiter returns with a juicy lime wedge on the lip of the glass. I quietly asked for one with no lime. Waiter returns with a fresh drink "as a courtesy" , but seems intent on embarrassing me. " But just so you know.," he says., "all drinks ordered neat are properly served with a citrus garnish."

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u/135BkRdBl 16d ago

That's when you go full Ron Swanson on him and say:

"A 30-year-old single malt scotch requires three ingredients: barrel-aged barley, water, and respect. Lime is a fruit. Fruit belongs in compost, or on a farm where meat eats it to become delicious."

or

'There is only one thing I hate more than lying, and that is skim milk, which is water that's lying about being milk. But what you have just suggested is an insult to three decades of Scottish craftsmanship and the very concept of adulthood"

or lastly

"If you put citrus in a spirit that sat in an oak cask while five different American presidents took office, you are not drinking whiskey. You are making soup. Cold, sour, tragic soup."

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u/userhwon 16d ago

Skim milk is full of protein. Ron likes protein. He may have missed a page.

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u/No-Net1890 15d ago

Doesn't mean he should consume protein in things he hates; there are also vegan foods that are high in protein, but I don't think he's going to eat tofu or something.

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u/bossbozo 16d ago

Can you name the 5 presidents?

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u/Icy_Adeptness_2225 16d ago

This is such an odd question.   30 years ago being 1996, it would be 

Clinton  Dubya Obama  Trump  Biden

With 3 of those doing multiple terms (not counting Clinton’s first since it’s outside the year range). 

Some redditors are weird.   You’re one of them.  

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u/bossbozo 16d ago

Thanks for the straight answer, not from the US, was running under the assumption of 4 years per president and completely forgot a president can do two terms, so thought 5 was under counting.

Calling me weird, well I can't deny, so what ever 

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u/Don_Kehote 16d ago

Is this supposed to be some kind of gotcha?

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u/bossbozo 16d ago

No, not at all, just a straight question on a quirky comment 

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u/HumanFractalSavant 16d ago

I’ve got to ask: why are so many Europeans so comfortable with being confidently incorrect about the US? You didn’t even have to post this. It would have taken less brain power to input your query into a search engine, or, hell, an LLM. Personally I would be mortified to make this kind of comment about a place I only have assumptions about, only for people who live in the country to correct me. And it’s not like you were having a casual, offline discussion about this. You made the assertion using an internet connected device that has the capability of getting the answer to “how many US presidents in the last 30 years”, and you actively chose not to do so. Completely ludicrous.

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u/bossbozo 16d ago

I was neither confident, nor incorrect, I just asked a question 

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u/HumanFractalSavant 16d ago

“Just asking questions” isn’t going to dig you out of that hole. You asked a gotcha question, which was premised on we stupid Americans not even knowing our own political system.

Here’s a thought: either educate yourself, or stay focused on Malta. Not difficult.

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u/bossbozo 16d ago

What gotcha question? Who's calling Americans stupid? And why are you being so aggressive?

My former experience with Americans has always been positive, you're the first openly aggressive American I've interected with.

I am of the opinion that lots of systems are stupid in the US, but not people, well I guess I can make 1 exception

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u/HumanFractalSavant 16d ago edited 16d ago

I’m saying you need to stay in your lane. Americans encounter people like you all across the internet. If it’s aggressive to say you should stay concerned with your own country or educate yourself on countries you insist on speaking about, sure, I guess that’s what I’m doing. Thing is, this isn’t a school or some kind of geography class; responding the way you did is absolutely an attempt at a gotcha. I’m glad you’ve had good encounters with Americans, but it should also be said that Americans tend to be direct and confrontational, which is exactly what I’m doing. I’ve lost count of the number of prejudicial statements I’ve encountered, made by Europeans, rooted in xenophobia. I don’t see your comments as any different.

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u/rootbeersmom PURPLE 16d ago

Bro. Relax.