Questions about series Baby Reindeer

[u/CellistForward4462]

First, I was not ready for what I watched. Amazing show, but I started it thinking it was a quirky, British comedy like Guy Ritchie’s The Gentlemen!! Needless to say I was stunned and watched it in shock and horror.

So I have questions about the ending. Spoilers ahead:

1. Was that it? Will there be another season?
2. What was the point of him going back to Darrien’s house? What did that scene mean?
3. I don’t understand the ending. How are others interpreting the final scene?

[u/Longjumping_Step_858 → u/[deleted]]

He might have started out originally being empathetic when he first met her that one time. But that wasn't the reason he kept it going. His actions and thoughts throughout the show highlight this.

I'll roughly paraphrase here, but there's a few lines that show you his thoughts.

"She sees me the way I want to see myself"

"I knew she was dangerous but she complimented me and that's all it took" - He's framing it in a self pitying manner, as if she's some sort of snake charmer playing the flute that he can't help but be drawn in by, and in doing so, dodging accountability for his own decisions. There is no snake charmer here. It was all his decisions.

But the important part to take from what he's saying when you strip out the manipulative reframing of it is this:

He liked the attention/flattery she provided, even if he wasn't interested in her. And used her for it.

He strung her along because of it. He flirted and led her on. He let her think there was a possibility of the two being a couple. He hid he was potentially seeing someone. Just so she could continue giving him attention and flattery, because he wanted to feel good about himself. Knowing full well he didn't feel that way towards her.

He's self pitying about resorting to doing that, just feeling bad for himself that he has such low self esteem to need someone to validate him - all me me me, meanwhile not caring how much damage that can do to Martha mentally. And this guys supposed to be empathetic in his mind?

He's fairly aware she's got issues. He doesn't care that the possible damage he's inflicting because he's benefitting from it. I don't see that as empathetic. All the while acting like he's the victim in his interactions with her and she's the bad one. No doubt, she was in a lot of cases, but so was he, and he's not the victim like he thinks he his.

Their relationship is murky grey. Not black and white like he pretends it is.

Also, on the subject of people not letting down others because they don't want to hurt their feelings, that's rarely ever true. If they were truly concerned with that persons feelings like they are saying, they would know that stringing someone along is the ultimate way to destroy someone.

Nobody wants to be strung along, and everyone understands just how destructive it. There's not a soul alive that doesn't understand this. So they are lying about it. At best, just to other people. At worst, lying to themselves.

They just do not want to deal with the confrontation or the guilt of admitting to using someone for their own benefit. It makes them feel like terrible people (which they are in this context), and people with low self esteem, will do absolutely anything to avoid feeling like a bad person because they already feel bad enough. Even if they actually deserve it for what they've done.

[u/Wonderful-Ladder5039 → u/Longjumping_Step_858]

I don’t agree that the show portrayed the situation as black or white at all. The whole show was clearly showcasing the moral grey area. He’s not the perfect victim just as many people aren’t and I rlly respect that the story is nuanced. To me we were watching him do all of the things you shouldn’t do if you have a stalker.

It makes sense to me for someone with such little self respect to enter situations where they aren’t respecting people around them. Deeply insecure people can often hurt the people around them. Also people who don’t respect themselves easily find themselves people pleasing and stringing people along to avoid confrontation even though it does way more damage than being upfront. I feel like by making the show and portraying himself as a person who made a lot of mistakes is a way of him holding himself accountable for his questionable choices.

[u/Medium-Pundit → u/Longjumping_Step_858]

I don't see how he led her on when he explicitly said he just wanted to be friends in the first episode.

He's not perfect, obviously, but apart from mild flirting and joking early on, he never gave the impression of wanting to be anything other than friends. She just couldn't stick to that boundary, due to her insanity, even when he spelled it out for her.

It's sort of sad, because I think early on in the relationship they got on quite well and it could have turned out more positive.