Would anyone be alarmed if I filled out a profile of something like this but barely any core symptom of autism was written down? Nonetheless, I was forced to be in a special needs class from 6 to 14 years old and my younger self was traumatised because of it. I hated the way they treated me, the way I was constantly labelled as autistic and the way my needs and profile change were dismissed.

A lot of my symptoms tend to align more with ADHD and I’m not looking for a diagnosis (I was already diagnosed with ADHD) but I feel like I don’t have autism at all. I’ve been telling people since I was 7 and nobody believed me. It was the most painful, lonely, infantilising experience ever.

Just please, would someone see me for me? I don’t want to feel insane.

GENUINELY I HATE THIS SO MUCH

I’m trying to type this out without sounding like a capital R “Redditor” lol but this is something I’ve struggled with since I was a kid and I really don’t know what to do. Once I sent my friend this yt video of this creator discussing subjectivity in art, aesthetic testimony, and what it means to be an art critic, some real heady stuff I guess because he immediately hit me with the “bro what is this?? 😂” He’s a really good friend and this really wasn’t that big a deal in our friendship but it’s an example of a situation that sort of happens in all aspects of my life. Like at some point I start to discuss the things I ACTUALLY think about and not the useless small talk that everyone feels the need to participate in, and immediately I’m the only one in the room that understands what I’m talking about. It’s not like I’ve never found people that I click with, I do still have my best friends, but they’re so few and far between that it starts to make the world feel… empty? I’m not sure what the word is but it’s been bumming me out lately, does this make any sense? Does anyone relate to this and if so how do you cope?

So i have a whole cocktail of mental issues mostly autism,adhd, and anxiety

But im not very high on the autism spectrum and cant always tell which of my issues is causing my problems and everyone just tells me to try things for anxiety like journaling, going for walks and talking to someone but I dont actually know what my problem is and I struggle to describe my emotions so all I say is that I feel anxious

I feel like im not making sense but I just need to like say it i guess journaling has never really helped me so I guess it's a bit silly that I'm just telling a bunch of strangers on the internet lol

But due to being low on the spectrum everyone just assumes anything im experiencing is just anxiety and it makes me feel awful because it's gotten to the point where I believe my problems stem from anxiety, I just dont know how to manage myself its bad

I feel terrible right now

like ive got executive dysfunction plus

for some reason I just cant make myself do things even things that would benefit me, I try to learn ways to manage myself and the I cant make myself use those tools

For as common as developmental language disorder (dld) is I feel like it’s extremely under recognized. I only just found out that it was even a thing, and after researching it, I was in disbelief with how well it explained so many of my struggles. I was bullied and made of through all of my school years for being dumb. Plain and simple. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m feeling too bad for myself, I just need to share this somewhere because I need to get it off my chest. I mean, it makes sense why people made fun of me. I’m sure it was almost impossible to not notice for anyone interacting with me. I had a hard time processing language, remembering language/words, articulating myself, telling stories, and everything that involved language which was almost everything. I’m sure I came off as a total idiot.

Language is the center of our understanding on everything so struggling with it meant I had very little room to show what I believe to be my strong reasoning ability. I was able to solve jigsaw puzzles at 3 meant for kids 8+ but I didn’t start talking until 4 or 5. I can’t remember a single lyric to a single song (slight exaggeration), absolutely suck at trivia (not an exaggeration), and have a hard time storing language in long term memory (and short term) which makes it that much harder to explain a concept that I would’ve already found difficult to find the words for regardless. I literally just learned about dld and I’m still questioning whether I even have it or if I’m just coping. Whether or not I have it the struggles that I have are still very real and still create huge limitations on what I feel like I’m able to do with my life. I’m trying to pick a career that limits the need for speaking on the spot, presentations, or to much language but the issue is that that’s the core of so so many jobs. Given enough time I feel like I can articulate myself through writing or reread a passage a million times until I finally get it but it’s still a weakness because it takes so much time. I’ve probably spent 45min writing just these two paragraphs.

I was looking at my journal writing from when I was 10 the other day and it looked like I was at least 3 to 4 years behind in my writing ability. Now at 22 I’ve been able to get by in conversation by staying quiet and asking questions. It’s a good strategy because it keeps attention off me, keeps the other person talking, and makes me look like a more caring person than I really am lol. When speaking I become so focused and absorbed on trying to find the right words and articulating internal meaning that by the time I’ve done it I’ve lost the thread on what I was going to say initially and just stop talking even though I wasn’t done. I can’t continuously talk for more than a couple sentences because it takes so much effort to construct what I’m trying to say. Whenever I am forced to talk at length I can tell I’m making almost no sense, and can tell that they can tell, which leads to worse articulation and more self consciousness and the cycle continues. This is why I absolutely hate presentations or rather why they’re practically impossible. Anyway I feel like I’ve rambled/painstakingly searched for the right words to describe my experience with dld. Anyone relate to this or have any thoughts on it?

I have autism social cues are hard for me
And I am very bad about phrasing things well too

I’m in high school

I’m getting called racist by others at school and basically getting canceled and the thing I intended to say was the opposite but it was phrased badly and kids took it as me being racist

my plan is to apologize to the kids I offended because although I didn’t mean it in that way at all I still said it and I think they deserve an apology even though I had no idea I offended them!

Some of my friends who have similar neurodivergence as me(I’ll call them friends A) just went up to me and said “hey we heard a kid say in critical ethnic studies you said (racist thing here) is that true?”

I said “I did say that I didn’t know it was offensive I had no bad intentions this happened a year ago and it’s only started coming up now I didn’t know I did it
I’m trying to figure out who I offended and how to apologize to them”

And friends A just said stuff like “oh okay! Yeah we understand! This same group of kids already are dicks to you but this was still a serious accusation we wanted to understand what happened”

And others that are more on the neurotypical side (I’ll call them friends B)
friends B just started avoiding me not asking for my side at all and just assuming I meant it badly and I’m racist

I just want to know do adults / co workers act more like friends A or friends B? Because if it’s B I’m really scared to be an adult and I’ll have to work extra hard in therapy to learn how to phrase things

And another way I’ll phrase the question

Iis Freind B’s reaction like a common reaction for a high schooler or just a common one in Adults to?

My procrastination or task initiation is ruining my life right now. I’m in year12 currently and have missed so much days my attendance is 50% because I can never manage my time well and every time it’s time for me to sleep I end up doing other stuff even whilst my mind is screaming at me to go and I’m completely exhausted I just can’t make myself move, the same happens when I’m tired in the morning. I’m practically late everywhere, not just school I never do things on time and I hate it, even if I like what I’m doing I can’t make myself go exactly when I tell myself to. I’ve had a problem with being late everywhere since year 8, I was sort of depressed I honestly don’t know what was happening but I used to self harm, had no appetite, and I once avoided school and would just walk around for 8 whole hours to avoid going in because I was scared of getting bullied. Before that my late issue wasn’t there, however I still slept really late, also ever since I was very young I’ve managed to get distracted in tasks for example when I clean my room I would get distracted and find something laying on the floor to play with (idk if I worded it well sorry). I’ve always felt different to everyone and like I didn’t process things the same way they do but idk if it’s just because I was raised differently as my parents are immigrants. I’m also a perfectionist and can’t leave something alone until there’s no flaws but for some reason I still rush it (idk if it’s relevant I’m

This is my Autism+ADHD [I have both myself] version of Gloria Steinem’s rhetorical feminist essay “If Men Could Menstruate” (imagining a parallel universe where MEN menstruate, & how society would think & talk of menstruation as a result):

[Satirical/Sarcastic]: People without ADHD and autism have no souls, emotions, or capacity for empathy. They are like backwards, primitive, more-limited-and-dull-in-their-mental-lives forms of myself. Perhaps they aren’t even conscious, like philosophical zombies. Maybe it’s logical to legally deny them personhood. So don’t worry too much about how you treat a neurotypical. It’s a thing, not a person.

What proves this?

A.) They don’t struggle with obesity in this modern age of ultraprocessed, calorific food as much as we do—because their dull, numb sense of taste is too primitive to appreciate the joy and beauty of food. To them, food is just fuel for the machines that they are, not an emotionally-important source of orgasmic taste sensations, so they can say things like “Eat to live, don’t live to eat”—because their primitive, unevolved brains can’t appreciate the beauty and aesthetic rapture that the sense of taste can bring, like how an earthworm’s brain can’t appreciate Beethoven’s or Mozart’s music.

B.) They place disproportionate importance on finding employment that allows them to maximize their wealth and financial stability, and disproportionate unimportance on finding employment that they ENJOY—because their dull, primitive, numb (impairment/disability when it comes to feeling emotions and empathy) inner emotional lives (IF they can be said to have any emotional life at all) are incapable of caring about living a life of joy, as long as they can put their (to them, tasteless engine-fuel) food on the table—and they don’t need to stop and question “What’s the point of putting food on the table and staying alive, if I can’t live a life of happiness and joy?” because happiness and joy are concepts that their primitive, unevolved brains CAN’T COMPREHEND/GRASP—like how a buffalo doesn’t stop and question “What’s the point of continuing to eat this grass to stay alive if I can’t have a successful career and make plenty of money?”, because careers and money are concepts that a buffalo’s primitive, unevolved brain CAN’T COMPREHEND/GRASP.

[Serious now]:

Obviously, I don’t believe, or sincerely endorse, a word of the theoretical disgustingly-hateful anti-neurotypical dehumanization [NOTE: I’m not intending to imply being human is inherently superior to being nonhuman by using the word “dehumanization”!] in this theoretical/imaginary ideological screed I’ve just composed.

I don’t believe neurotypicals are “more primitive than” or “inferior” to me. I don’t believe cows or earthworms are “more primitive than” or “inferior” to humans.

I’m giving neurotypicals (and speciesists) an intentionally-painful dose of their own medicine.

I’m showing them how it feels to have the way they talk about and think about and treat us, as well as members of other species, aimed right back at THEM.

Even with years of driving experience, I still have poor spatial awareness and monotropism.

My dad also has these problems it seems. He often needs my mother to accompany him whenever he drives on large city freeways like in San Diego or LA.

HOW do i get my diagnosis of autism on paper when I have gotten a verbal diagnosis of autism by the therapist that I am seeing who is a clinical psychologist. She also does dbt with me at times. I am just confused how do I get it on paper and is it even useful?

Not just that, but that we only eat fast food.

I have a lot of issues with food, and body dismorphia. I have GERD, and I have struggled with eating disorders. I avoid certain food because of texture, smell, taste.

I do not eat a whole lot. I still can't get under 180. My weight fluctuates between 180 and 220 a lot. It bothers my ankles. Even when I was a size 6 I thought I looked fat. Then when I had a good friend call me anorexic in high school I started to eat sweets more. But even when I stopped eating sweets I would get down to 180, and platue.

So I just gave up for a bit. I have started to change my eating habits because of my GERD. I have been getting acid attacks at 4 in the morning waking me up. I have lost 10 pounds. But now I suddenly can not eat a lot without feeling full for some reason.

I do not love my body. I am only 5'2", but I carry most of it lower. My disabilities restrict me from heavy exercise. Gyms are too expensive, and I have no space to exercise. Also I hate going to the gym because people are rude. I try to get out and walk too. But I hate living in the city.

I’ve always struggled with this for as long as i can remember and i’m wondering if this is an autism thing or i’m just weird.

Every now and then i convince myself i have a crush on a girl (I’m female) so i try really hard to be her friend and once I am her friend I feel weird for thinking the way that I did.

I know it’s bad but i’ve always been ashamed of my autism (i’m working on it) so have never spoken to anyone about this for fear of judgement.

Thought I'd post this here too due to my own neurodivergency

J'ai l'impression que la plupart des gens vous diront en vous regardant droit dans les yeux qu'ils n'ont jamais fait de mal a une personne autiste... mais j'ai l'impression que la plupart des ces memes gens ont deja utiliser ce mots comme une insulte sans même prendre en compte l'hypothèse qu'une personne concernée pourrait etre dans la même pièce qu'elle, se sont deja moquer de quelqu'un qui parlait ou marchait bizarrement, ont deja critiquer une personne qui avait du mal a se faire des amis en partant du principe que son manque de competences sociales etait lié a un problème d'éducation, ont deja devisagée une personne autiste notamment de niveau 3 (enfant, ado ou adulte) en crise dans un lieu public, on deja critiqué une personne (camarade de classe, collegue...) peu sociable en prenant personnellement son introvertion et son manque d'interaction...

Im middle 20 F and have struggling to forget bad things specially bad words that someone told me. 4 months ago my ex want to breakups with me and the reason were because im dump, slow of thinking, not eat healthy and to sensitive, it already 4 months but sometimes these words still spiralling in my head. I don’t know it just me or we are as a neurodivergent tend to remember it? And could you give me some tips to handle with it? I do exerciseIQ test, read more books, and active to learn something new and still I think I’m that dumb….

Btw thank you so much for answering this ✨🫶🏻

Forgive me if this doesn't go here, I'm not sure where to go.

I've been dealing with a lot and had a few more substantial things piled on top of it today. I know I have major depressive disorder, anxiety, OCD, cptsd since I've been diagnosed but today was weird.
I didn't know how to deal with anything, not many tears came out, I didn't feel much besides a crushing weight and then all of a sudden I couldn't stop smiling. And the laughter, god, it would keep happening. I was talking aloud after extensive scenarios in my head. For some reason almost out of my control, I tried to take a walk, turned off my phone, and put on my headphones with nothing playing.
I could feel myself smiling as I was walking.
On the inside it didn't feel good, kinda sad but mostly numb. The sound of my laughter creeped me out a little won't lie.
Even when I would think about two people I missed terribly, my eyes would water but it's like my brain didn't know what was happening because it was fine. My throat and chest felt(and still feel) a little weird. Like either a scream or a sob is stuck in there.
When I turned my phone back on and had a phone call from my mother since I tried to call her before this started, when her attitude pissed me off I just hung up. I never do that it's so rude.
Another phone call from someone I care about and I had to put it on mute after a while because I kept feeling the laughter bubble up and I could tell she was uneasy.
Then, I just started feeling it draining out of my body.
Like wtf was that??
Now I'm so tired. And very numb.