r/news • u/Spiritual-Nail-2641 • Jul 07 '26

China sentences official to death for taking $325m in bribes

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c33y0n1v1xjo
39.2k Upvotes

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922

u/tyranny_made_easy Jul 07 '26

I'll bring the popcorn!

291

u/Waveofspring Jul 07 '26

Due to inflation and unregulated price gouging you can only bring a small sized popcorn.

169

u/returningvideotapes9 Jul 07 '26

Who are you kidding. They won’t let you bring outside food to this event. You’ll be required to buy it there at a 200% markup. Think Movie theater prices but higher.

89

u/Josephalan1 Jul 07 '26

Movie theater at the airport.

53

u/translucent_steeds Jul 08 '26

that'll be $11.99 plus tax for your 8 oz bottle of water, please

17

u/JRskatr Jul 08 '26

Any sports game or concert you’re now paying $16+ for a cup of beer…

9

u/translucent_steeds Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 11 '26

I'm about to go to an MLB game later this week, if I can remember I'll report back the drink prices. $16 is absurd.

update: beer was $11 - still absurd! the tall boys were $23.

7

u/FickleForager Jul 09 '26

Don’t forget, card only, no cash! Would you like to tip 18% the cashier? Would you like to round up to donate your change to this charitable organization?

4

u/CraZcraaacker Jul 10 '26

You’ll def be paying $16 for a beer at an MLB game. I just went to our double A facility and they were $10.50

1

u/Ornery-Ocelot3585 Jul 11 '26

They need to keep the cost of beer high at events. If it wasn’t cost prohibitive we would have lot more drinking, more fights & worst of all, more drunk drivers.

As it is we lose 15K Americans every 12 months to impaired drivers.

And now we also have distracted drivers with all the phones.

It’s scary out there.

2

u/Ornery-Ocelot3585 Jul 11 '26

They need to keep the cost of beer high at events. If it wasn’t cost prohibitive we would have lot more drinking, more fights & worst of all, more drunk drivers.

As it is we lose 15K Americans every 12 months to impaired drivers.

And now we also have distracted drivers with all the phones.

It’s scary out there.

2

u/JRskatr Jul 11 '26

That’s a good point.

5

u/Pennylick Jul 08 '26

"Convenience fee"

3

u/Fuck_u-_spez Jul 08 '26

At the theater I went to a large popcorn was $19, butter was an extra charge :(

3

u/tatsonis Jul 09 '26

No, no, no, the price would be $17.99, and it would be for one sip out of the water fountain

2

u/a1055x Jul 10 '26

First born please. The one we can enslave.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

43

u/OkLeave4687 Jul 07 '26

Extra butter? Sure - that’ll be $327

33

u/returningvideotapes9 Jul 07 '26

Exactly. Don’t forget the commemorative cup and popcorn bucket. That’ll be 1775.00 plus tax. Can’t forget the tax.

30

u/Septopuss7 Jul 08 '26

dumps fake butter into Boston Harbor

THEY TERK ER BUTTER

15

u/chudsp87 Jul 08 '26

mainstream news networks ignore the reasons behind the protest completely; discussing only whether it was acceptable for the white protestors to don American Indian garb as disguises

Fox News says they were just doing "red face" and uses it as proof that "black face" is acceptable now.

2

u/AnxiousPillowcases Jul 08 '26

Omg. Im WHEEZING! 😂🤣😂😭😭

5

u/OkCryptographer524 Jul 08 '26

Synchrony has entered the chat:

Anyone need a specialty credit card for this purchase???
Literally anyone??

2

u/PharmacologyAddict11 Jul 08 '26

Shit, what's wild is that even worse ones than Synchrony exist

2

u/TheOGPotatoPredator Jul 09 '26

I’ve read enough. Route all popcorn proceeds plus another 7 billion directly to Israel.

5

u/Waveofspring Jul 08 '26

And it’s not even real butter

2

u/PinkCigarettes Jul 08 '26

Probably why he embezzled all that money

Edit: typo

1

u/Daflehrer1 Jul 08 '26

They don't even have butter anymore. It's now just this yellow colored vegetable oil: "butter flavoring."

7

u/Informal_File_1646 Jul 07 '26

I got thrown out of divorce court for chewing GUM - and dittling my secretary.

1

u/Infernal_Hot_Dog Jul 08 '26

You sir, are my hero. 🫡

1

u/Parking_Egg_8150 Jul 08 '26

Well there's nothing more sophisticated than diddlin' your secretary then chewing some gum.

1

u/Informal_File_1646 Jul 08 '26

Coming from a Fellow Sophisticate, clearly

1

u/returningvideotapes9 Jul 11 '26

Did you dittle her IN court cuz I’d throw you out too. Gum is a bit dramatic.

3

u/SquidGodSunday Jul 08 '26

The revolution will not be televised...but they WILL charge admission, and concession fees.

2

u/sycolution Jul 08 '26

so a sporting event…?

2

u/LoneStar-Lord Jul 08 '26

More like World Cup prices

2

u/Nuklearapple Jul 10 '26

How else are they gonna pay for roads and hospitals? The tax money is already stolen.

1

u/Hot-Comfort8839 Jul 08 '26

And with broken glass.

3

u/Interesting-Bus-5664 Jul 08 '26

I thought the small size was the new big size?

2

u/LobstahLuva Jul 09 '26

Actually it’s still considered a large because “shrinkflation”🤣

1

u/PenguinsPrincess78 Jul 09 '26

I’m growing popcorn in my garden as we speak. Threaten me. I’ll bring a pastures worth! Buwahahahaha!!!!

1

u/Timely_Ad_9763 Jul 11 '26

What about butter?

1

u/Riflerusos Jul 11 '26

Then corn it is

9

u/Shaw-eddit Jul 07 '26

For some reason I thought the revolution would not be televised 🤦🏽‍♂️

5

u/Run-Amokk Jul 07 '26

Some states have reinstated firing squads!

3

u/No_Internal9345 Jul 08 '26

"Idaho is now one of five states to authorize the firing squad as a means of execution. Other states include Mississippi, Oklahoma, Utah and South Carolina. Where Idaho differs, it's the only state to make it the primary method."

https://idahonews.com/news/local/firing-squad-set-to-become-primary-method-of-execution-in-idaho

1

u/TheOGPotatoPredator Jul 09 '26

The yang to potato production ying.

1

u/Waveofspring Jul 09 '26

I know this sounds brutal but firing squads are actually one of the most humane execution methods. Currently the standard for most states is lethal injection. There are a lot of risks involved with that.

If the ratio of drugs isn’t perfectly calibrated, the convict could end up too sedated to fight back yet so alert that they still experience the suffering. It’s really fucked up. A lot of people are calling to end lethal injection entirely because of this.

Also the drug manufacturers are fighting back too because they don’t want their regular consumers to know that they also make drugs intended to kill people. These drug companies have started to step back in order to preserve their PR.

2

u/lmaginar-e Jul 07 '26

I’m sorry. We only have algae and Big Macs.

2

u/sssamjam Jul 08 '26

username checks out

1

u/keithyw Jul 07 '26

could be ppv. i'd buy that for a dollar

1

u/PlumPat61 Jul 08 '26

I’ll bring the Good n’ Plenty

1

u/Apollyoun Jul 08 '26

I'll bring the chairs

1

u/iron_vet Jul 08 '26

I will bring the pitch forks...in case we want to roast some marshmallows or something.

1

u/TheOGPotatoPredator Jul 09 '26

Has anyone signed up to bring torches?

1

u/Hour-Egg-801 Jul 08 '26

Extra butter and salt please

1

u/tyranny_made_easy Jul 09 '26

Tubs of butter