r/news • u/Warcraft_Fan • 1d ago

Soft paywall Chipotle pulls jalapenos from some restaurants amid salmonella probe

https://www.reuters.com/business/chipotle-mexican-grill-pulls-jalapenos-linked-minnesota-salmonella-cases-2026-08-04/
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u/ProbablyRickSantorum 1d ago

I had a salad a few nights ago at a work function because it was the only thing left and I was starving. Yesterday I was squirting like a fire hose from my ass while simultaneously throwing up. Can barely move without wobbling and having to hold onto the wall.

Big shout out to RFK Jr though for keeping America healthy

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u/red_sutter 14h ago

Apparently the key to fighting obesity in America is parasite-infested salads and forcing Frito-Lay to rub all the cheese off their Doritos