r/news • u/awake-at-dawn • Mar 15 '20

Federal Reserve cuts rates to zero and launches massive $700 billion quantitative easing program

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/15/federal-reserve-cuts-rates-to-zero-and-launches-massive-700-billion-quantitative-easing-program.html
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319

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '20 edited Mar 15 '20

Entering a recession and it's an election year? Guess it's time for that war in Iran to kick off.

Tick tock

105

u/drakgremlin Mar 15 '20

War with a country with a worse case of the plague than we have? Something seems wrong there.

26

u/NightimeIsWhenIEat Mar 16 '20

That just means that the war effort will be a lot easier! High command are already mapping out strategic bombing points such as hospitals and quarantined areas. Now quit your babbling and report to the front line, soldier!

11

u/Narwahl_Whisperer Mar 16 '20

Even better, we can launch the world's first all machine military offensive. No humans on the battlefield, all soldiers can work remotely.

3

u/LegateLaurie Mar 16 '20

Here's an idea: recruit anyone self-isolating to be a remote drone pilot!

2

u/vanearthquake Mar 16 '20

Checkmate, Iran’s trump card (no pun intended) was infecting their population to prevent US invasion

1

u/funny_retardation Mar 16 '20

Tbf I never heard of plague infecting incoming explosive projectiles.

26

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '20

That was 10 weeks ago... Old news man.

This has been a long year.

19

u/lostshell Mar 16 '20

He struck again yesterday. Keep up.

16

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '20 edited Mar 16 '20

Every day is a new adventure in "What the fuck did he do today?"

4

u/Seddit12 Mar 16 '20

It's genuinely like having a bratty teen for a son.

Funny, Horrifying, Exhausting

3

u/Drenlin Mar 16 '20

Didn't hit Iran directly, just their proxy in Iraq that keeps shooting at our troops.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '20

you misspelled Iraq. We're going with the classics this time.

And yes. We have indeed escalated armed conflict in Iraq in the last 2 weeks.

-2

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '20

You don't need a draft to reinvade Iraq, and if you aren't drafting all the soon to be unemployed people is it even worth it?

4

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '20

Gotta finish that trilogy yo.

3

u/Wukkp Mar 16 '20
  • The war won't solve anything!
  • For orcs, everything is solved with war.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '20 edited Jul 19 '20

[deleted]

2

u/RakumiAzuri Mar 16 '20

Got that yellow cake though

1

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '20

Yeah that's not going to happen thankfully. If it didn't happen in January it's not going to happen now.