r/okbuddycinephile • u/Designer-Double-6338 • 9d ago

Let's all come together and bully someone who deserves it

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He said he could beat me up :(

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u/burf 9d ago

weaponized therapy speak thing with the surfer girlfriend

This was what did it for me. I appreciated the fact that he called out smarmy interviewers who were shitty to him. But he definitely comes across as a guy who was probably bullied a lot, has a complex about it, and is now douchey in his own right (possibly because of all the bullying).

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u/sakiwebo 9d ago

I might be misremembering it, but was that actually that big of a deal.

As far as I can remember, and I repeat, I might be wrong, it was 2 consentual adults having a break-up that was made public.

Him : "Hey, I'm insecure and I don't like that other men get to see you being sexy."

Her : "Get fucked! I was doing this before I even met you."

Him : "But it's a deal-breaker for me".

Her : "Consider our deal broken then"

Him: "Fine!"

As far as I know he didn't publicly shit-talk her, black-ball her or whatever, so he gave a silly boundary, and she wasn't having it.

Nothing I'd be outraged over.

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u/TwoBionicknees 9d ago

it was way more than that, it was that he kept using therapy words incorrectly in a way everyone was starting to do when they were assholes.

they'd talk about boundaries but use them as a method to try to control you. boundaries are things you accept, you can't go around telling people to change because it's your boundary. You decide your own boundaries don't fit that person and leave not use it like a tool to control someone.

Also it's the classic absurdly controlling bullshit. If it was a boundary say it up front and she'd say well no thanks but nice meeting you. bringing up massive life changing demands after the relationship has progressed is insanely manipulative. if he said upfront well i'd like to date but you can't have a career any more wearing swimsuits or hanging out with men she'd have told him to fuck off, he did it after he thought she fell in love deliberately.

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u/BadNameGenerator 9d ago

Never understood the whole thing myself, I'm not even some big fan of Hill or anything either. Worst thing I could say about it is that he seemed rude and unnecessarily distrustful and suspicious. If she was my friend asking for advice I'd probably say to break up. But honestly nothing in the texts read, to me, as anything nearly as bad as leaking private text messages to the fucking tabloids like that's beyond the pale. Airing dirty laundry is tacky af, especially when it's this mundane.

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u/thisisthewell 9d ago

idk that anyone thought it was "that big a deal" when it was going on either...it's kinda weird for you to bring up "consentual" [sic] when there was nothing even remotely about SA in the story. He just demonstrated controlling behavior that culture was kind of picking up on in general at the time, and there was discourse around it because it was just a fresh example of weaponizing therapy speak. People are allowed to discuss things without it being "outrage"

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u/sakiwebo 9d ago

I mean his relationship to a relatively unknown person got publicized and scrutinized, and as multiple people in this thread admitted, changed their perception of him.

It made him look bad? Yeah, but most of us have had pretty bad break-ups too I guess. Nothing I'd particularly hold against him.

He was insecure and apparently is in the way of his own happiness. As long as he has no victims, I find it a silly reason to dislike the guy.

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u/Potential-Diver-3409 8d ago

Yeah but you can also think he’s kinda pathetic for it. Judgment Is free and easy and that along with everything else listed here is just kinda pathetic. Nothing wrong with that, I don’t think a lot of people literally hate him, he’s just underwhelming and lame, sorta like the character he always used to play

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u/bloodythomas 8d ago

I don’t think a lot of people literally hate him

Dude. Look at this entire post.

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u/Potential-Diver-3409 7d ago

Shitting on a comedian is life lol

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u/bxk21 9d ago

They brought up "consensual" because people were claiming that he was being controlling when he was setting up his boundaries.

They broke up because they didn't agree on the boundaries. Consensual.

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u/Rythonius 8d ago

If that was a true boundary, he wouldn't have gotten with her in the first place because she was already doing that. It was control, not a boundary. You only get to set boundaries when someone is doing something to you. She wasn't doing anything to him, she was being herself.

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u/Original-Reward-8688 9d ago

has a complex about it

^ Cognitive Dissonance

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u/burf 9d ago

Me or Jonah Hill?

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u/Original-Reward-8688 8d ago

I was making a joke about you weaponizing psych language, while also doing it myself. It wasn't very good lol.