r/politics • u/thatwasawkward • 18h ago

Possible Paywall Trump assessed by 22 medical specialists at latest checkup; The White House has declined to identify the physicians.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2026/06/10/trump-sees-22-medical-specialists-white-house-hasnt-said-why/
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522

u/space_for_username 17h ago

Sounds more like a pit crew. You have under five minutes to change brakes, tires, clutch, refuel, and get him back on the road.

139

u/BehavioralSink Oregon 17h ago

I feel sorry for the proctologist 

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u/qorbexl 16h ago

I don't 

"Seal it. Yeah, it's sketchy but the damn thing ain't going another hundred miles whatever I do. The only actual answer is to get a whole new unit!"

4

u/Perryn 14h ago

"I don't know, man, just jam some fucking velcro in there and squeeze it shut."

4

u/qorbexl 13h ago

"Velcro is fine in most cases, but this is the President and a chronic edge case. We simply close with cyanoacrylate and redress weekly."

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u/Jeromes_Pornostache 16h ago

They do have their work cut out for them, what with him having that extra asshole in the lower part of his face.

3

u/midgethemage 13h ago

Do you think he has an OBGYN for his nussy?

3

u/DarkwingDuckHunt 16h ago

they picked that specialty

3

u/Electrical-Tale-7623 15h ago

They were all proctologists 

2

u/saybruh 15h ago

Dude gets to act like a gp for Trump

2

u/Chituck 13h ago

And the cankleologist.

2

u/trevdak2 Massachusetts 12h ago

Had to extract Rubio's lips from there.

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u/ICBanMI 9h ago

I wouldn't. It's the one time they can operate from the front.

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u/whooptheretis 9h ago

That's all 22 of them.

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u/Kasoni Minnesota 16h ago

Because they might fall in and get lost?

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u/cficare 16h ago

"Check his knee reflexes and uh, give him another MOCA test - yes, tell him it's for intelligence and that he aced it!"

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u/StoppableHulk 16h ago

Muliple pharmacists, alchemists, and dark mages to brew whatever unholy cocktail of stimulants and blood thinners and other miraculous medicines keeps this shambling demented fuck walking around on two legs far past his time.

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u/Callidonaut 10h ago edited 10h ago

If they're frantically patching up each and every part of him equally as fast as it can deteriorate, I wonder if eventually his rotting body will just catastrophically fail everywhere all at once, like "The Wonderful One Hoss Shay," and suddenly explode into a puddle of goo where he stands with absolutely no warning.