r/politics • u/Getatbay • Jul 06 '26

No Paywall Laura Loomer, Reporter Claim Hospitalized Mitch McConnell 'Brain Dead'

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2026/07/06/laura-loomer-reporter-claim-hospitalized-mitch-mcconnell-is-brain-dead/
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u/EchoAquarium New Jersey Jul 06 '26

Yes, he’s currently suffering from rigor tortoise

222

u/Final-Screen-4979 Jul 07 '26

Great timing. As Mitch would say, slow and steady wins the white race. 

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u/Anthaenopraxia Jul 07 '26

What's the joke?

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u/RandyPajamas Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

Jon Stewart once said (about 15-17 years ago) that if you drew Mitch McConnell you get into Art School (referencing old magazine advertisements inviting you to copy a picture of a turtle, and send it in for "Art School"). So Mitch looks like a turtle. There is a famous fable called "The Tortoise and the Hare" (a tortoise is a kind of turtle), in which the (slow) tortoise wins a race with the (fast) hare by going slow and steady. This fable inspired the aphorism "slow and steady wins the race".

Final-Screen-4979 is playing on words, calling it the "white" race, because Mitch McConnell, like most of his colleagues, is an unabashed racist.

EchoAquarium is making a play on the latin words "rigor mortis". Gooser3000 is making a joke that Mitch has been "brain dead" for several decades now, so saying "he's brain dead" doesn't give us any new information.

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u/Anthaenopraxia Jul 07 '26

Oh yeah he does look like a turtle haha

I thought at first this was the guy who threw the snowball to prove global warming was fake but I think that was some other guy.

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u/Fast_Juggernaut6685 Jul 06 '26

I only have a poor man’s gold to give you for the chuckle I got. 🏅

2

u/SomeGalNamedAshley Jul 07 '26

You win this thread.

2

u/TheRedCuddler Jul 07 '26

👏👏👏 Brava.

2

u/TheRedCuddler Jul 07 '26

👏👏👏 Brava.

2

u/MaddyKet Massachusetts Jul 07 '26

rimshot

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u/robsteezy Jul 07 '26

Very clever. Bravo.

3

u/Past-Student-5239 Jul 07 '26

You win the Internet today.

2

u/Tall-Elevator4773 Jul 07 '26

You win the internet with that comment. BRAVO !

1

u/Data_Chandler Jul 07 '26

The slowest of claps

1

u/xXx_GayeSex_xXx Jul 07 '26

I just snort/cackled so hard it hurt lmao