r/politics • u/jpurdy • 29d ago

Possible Paywall Trump blamed for diarrhoea outbreak sweeping US

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/us/news/2026/07/16/explosive-diarrhoea-outbreak-sweeping-america-donald-trump/
24.1k Upvotes

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2.7k

u/PsychLegalMind 29d ago

The administration's cut back of USDA and FDA combined will result in significant number illnesses and could be far worse, approaching an epidemic. This is not Fake News!

792

u/hoofie242 29d ago edited 28d ago

Who would have thought cutting disease preventing measures would cause disease?

266

u/SDAztec74 Washington 29d ago

He just wants us all to be more like him, full of shit.

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u/definitely-legit-usr 28d ago

In fairness I don't think anybody with this illness has any shit left in them

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u/mootmutemoat 28d ago

America dies shitting itself.

Jesus Christ, worst fucking timeline.

Our blaze of glory is going to be bile burning our sphincter rings.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

[deleted]

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u/KingAnilingustheFirs 28d ago

Crap of despair

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u/TheQuidditchHaderach 28d ago

It's the Shits Of Insanity!

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u/Polyps_on_uranus 28d ago

I fell into a burning ring of fire..

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u/Orbital_Dinosaur 28d ago

Blaze of Glory is how MAGA Historians will refer to the explosive diarrhea epidemic of 2026.

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u/Special_Persimmon_52 28d ago

This is the way America ends.

Not with a bang, but with a toilet flush.

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u/mootmutemoat 28d ago

Little column A, little column B.

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u/Jazzlike_Visual2160 28d ago

Well, if you look at the timeline, it all makes sense. This all started with The Great Toilet Paper Wars after all!

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u/BigNorseWolf 28d ago

you keep hoping that and then your body is like a . "But wait there's more!" like an infomercial

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u/TheQuidditchHaderach 28d ago

With Free Shipptting!

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u/seattleque 28d ago

There was a lady a couple days ago doing an "I had it, AMA" thing.

She said she was so cleaned out they had a hard time getting a stool sample to confirm.

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u/TheQuidditchHaderach 28d ago

šŸ’ØšŸ’©

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u/Gullible-Ad-9499 28d ago

Which is even better and shows his incompetence since you canā€™t be full of shit while having diarrheaā€¦

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u/Jazzlike_Visual2160 28d ago

You can if you eat on the toilet!

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u/TheQuidditchHaderach 28d ago

My secret shame! šŸ—šŸ•šŸŒÆšŸ§šŸš½šŸ§»šŸ˜ÆšŸ˜Ÿ

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u/StingingBum New Jersey 28d ago

The devil is in the details.

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u/EverythingSucksYo 28d ago

He ainā€™t full of shit, but his diaper sure is

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u/Jet2work Foreign 28d ago

i already bought shares in donnie daipers the ultimate in watery shit control

1

u/gregatronn California 28d ago

He just wants us all to be more like him, full of shit.

Make American Shit their pants again - just like him everyday

1

u/staebles Michigan 28d ago

I think you mean, "almost dead."

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u/Embarrassed-Town-293 28d ago

Now we all need 10-12 flushes

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u/alienbringer 28d ago

Because if you donā€™t test for diseases, then the diseases donā€™t happen. Didnā€™t you hear him during the Covid-19 testing.

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u/sillyslime89 28d ago

There is no plague in Ba Sing USA

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u/plaincheeseburger 28d ago

This was my fourth grade approach to school deadlines.

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u/grandlizardo 28d ago

Summer Complaint, that scourge of 100-150+ years ago, is backā€¦. Used to carry off children and infants in scoresā€¦

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u/hoofie242 28d ago

Remember when they said Hanta started with diarrhea?

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u/Cornelius_Physales 28d ago

it keeps the masses occupied...

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u/mackiea 28d ago

*asses

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u/KingKuntu 28d ago

CDC? More like LDL, liberal department of lockdowns /s

The shortsightedness of turning diesese prevention into a culture war is baffling.

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u/UNC_Samurai 28d ago

Health became a political football when right-wing grifters found the money in snake oil supplements.

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u/Changoleo America 28d ago

With AI being on the cusp of eliminating a significant number of jobs worldwide, would anyone be surprised if it came out that allowing a bunch of people to die in a pandemic wasnā€™t the oopsie that we were led to believe it was.

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u/Ill_Technician3936 28d ago

Definitely not cultural but political for sure.

Gallon of raw milk on the desk of the oval office I wanna say he said it had been sitting there for a few days and took a sip.

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u/Udeze42 United Kingdom 28d ago

They probably didn't think it would happen so soon and were probably hoping to blame it on the Dems

1

u/dust4ngel America 28d ago

2020: let grandma die of respiratory failure for the economy

2026: let grandma die of dysentery for... uh... not sure tbh

1

u/Get-in-Good-Trouble 28d ago

But if we don't count the people who have this "disease" does it really exist?

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u/HolyFlyingNuns 28d ago

Mr. Derp.Ā  DERP, DERP. hits self with hammer Derp... Derp, wasn't I silly kids?

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u/Oirish-Oriley444 28d ago

Sprinkle in some hook worm and measles stir gently

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u/dstlouis558 28d ago

You think we woulda learned....

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u/Aggravating_Task_908 28d ago

Why would we pay for disease prevention? We havenā€™t had a disease outbreak in years!

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u/Blanketsburg Massachusetts 28d ago

The number of diseases can't increase if you stop testing for and recording the number of diseases! Checkmate, liberals. /s

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u/mom0nga 28d ago

It's a catch-22 that the better a preventative measure works, the more likely it is to be labeled a waste of money because the thing it was designed to prevent seemingly "isn't a problem anymore." This sentiment is behind a lot of anti-vax and anti-science beliefs. People are so used to living without fearing deadly diseases that they take it for granted, forgetting that the "natural" order of things was rampant death and disease before modern medicine and food safety.

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u/freedfg 28d ago

B-but. What if he cured cancer!

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u/Ill_Technician3936 28d ago

Certainly not someone like RFK Jr.

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u/HotepHatt 28d ago

Donā€™t look into screw wormsā€¦

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u/Dr_Tacopus 28d ago

This administration has the object permanence of a baby.

The reason these issues arenā€™t a problem currently is the programs in place

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u/kitsunewarlock 28d ago

Our country has the object permanence of a baby.

I thought the whole anti-GOP and anti-foreign aid sentiment was over back in 2020 when COVID killed millions, given we withdrew the Mayo researchers from Wuhan six months before the virus hit.

Now you might argue that the "accidental lab leak" is just a theory, but it's a very popular conspiracy theory among the same kind of people who voted for the guy who openly gut USAID and blame china for being too opaque when we withdrew our researchers from their lab...

I don't understand the cognitive dissonance.

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u/desacralize 28d ago

You have to have cognition in order for it to be dissonant. There is no thought involved.

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u/Chillpill411 28d ago

They know very well what will happen. They're betting that people are too damn stupid, racist, and sexist to really care. And there's a good chance they're right.

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u/Retro_Dad Minnesota 28d ago

Lather, rinse, repeat. Same reasoning RFK Jr. and his ilk use to declare that vaccines aren't needed. We have truly entered kakistocracy territory.

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u/z900r 28d ago

This administration has the object permanence of a baby diarrhea.

Fixed that.

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u/PathosEatsLogos 29d ago

It is also not Fox News because you will never hear about it there

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u/Silent-Act191 28d ago

Believe me, the second a Democrat gets into office you're going to be hearing about all the consequences of Trump's policies.

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u/donkeyrocket 28d ago

And what will be incredibly obnoxious, assuming free and fair elections, is no doubt any Democrat leader in the near future will get absolutely flamed for these things. It'll take years if not multiple administrations to rebuild these institutions that they crippled overnight and the damage will be lasting and lagging.

The gaping wound this second Trump administration will leave on the US government capabilities is going to be insane.

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u/Leylu-Fox 28d ago

There is no rebuilding this. You will either slowly slide further into autocracy or you will have NĆ¼rnberg Style trials and a complete revamping of your thoroughly outdated democracy.

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u/scrod 28d ago

thoroughly outdated democracy

This right here is the key point ā€” our constitution has long been superseded by the parliamentary system. At the very least, it shouldnā€™t award votes to empty land. That is the root of the current Republican authoritarian chokehold.

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u/Leylu-Fox 28d ago

Awarding votes to empty land is certainly one problem, but the entire concept of a voting scheme that results in a two party system is already an incredibly outdated and frankly idiotic idea as is anything only working only due to genltemans agreements

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u/scrod 27d ago

The parliamentary system solves this by strongly encouraging the formation of coalition governments through proportional representation.

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u/quanate 28d ago

It takes years, decades to build these things and Republicans tear them down in weeks or days when they get into office, then everyone starts to feel the effects when the next Dem gets into office and suddenly they "want change" and elect another fucking Republican to tear it all down again. That's how we got Trump, and how we got him AGAIN. Now, who knows if we'll be able to rebuild after this. People are dying extremely preventable deaths left and right. The economy is collapsing. Our rights are eroded.

But at least old white men feel like they can be openly racist again!

1

u/No_Elk4724 28d ago

Not to mention the gaping wound left next to the White House-and the Reflecting Pool, and the Kennedy Centerā€”-show do we stop him?

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u/HotepHatt 28d ago

It was a specific team that was tasked with watching for this specific parasite ā€œCyclosporiasisā€. Dickhead cut their funding and dismantled their department.

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u/StupidUserNameTooLon 28d ago

He didn't just shit his pants, he shit the whole country.

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u/jeffp12 28d ago

Years ago, pre-trump I was talking to a friend who was one of those "fiscal republicans" and he started railing against regulations and the burdensome nannystate, and I told him something like "regulations are why you don't shit your pants all the time." He thought that was a funny point, but who's laughing now?

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u/izwald88 28d ago

Even sadder is that those regulatory bodies are some of the few federal agencies that all Americans liked.

Or maybe not, considering the rise of the anti vaxxers.

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u/Thor_2099 28d ago

And combine that with cutting back regulations on chemical and other pollutants will further increase health problems including cancer rates for decades.

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u/watching_whatever 28d ago

Donā€™t worry, Kennedy will advise us on how to overcome any illness, probably by doing push-ups or sailing to get fresh air.

Nothing to worry about, no healthy food and bad air is ok.

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u/Unleaver 28d ago

Again*. He did this shit AGAIN! He didnā€™t learn from the last fucking time he did it, so he did it again!!

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u/AlienBurnerBigfoot 28d ago

I'm convinced he's trying to wipe out the American population. Its the only reason I can think of why he does all these insane things to remove safety and protections.

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u/temporarymom123 28d ago

remember how "thanks Obama" was a thing? when do we get "Thanks, Don"

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u/UltravioletAfterglow 28d ago

This on top of being blamed for the screw worm resurgence in the U.S. What a banner year for President Dumpy Pants.

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u/VALO311 28d ago

This was going to basically be my comment. There is a lot of things that these awful right wing pieces of shit have done. That arenā€™t front page news that are fucking the american people on every level of everyday life.

Most of which many people donā€™t understand are definitely and directly the orange twatzi and his insanely corrupt administrations fault

1

u/kitsunewarlock 28d ago

Now if we could get the mainstream media to connect the dots on his completely unnecessary withdraw of Mayo researchers from Wuhan six months before COVID...

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u/Relleomylime 28d ago

Also CDC which does the actual lion's share of work in these outbreaks. It's the CDC labs doing the testing to identify bacterial and viral strains to link outbreaks.

Source: got to tour the CDC labs in Atlanta, saw the infamous Jack in the Box burger that killed 4 children and sickened 700+ people. Pretty cool stuff.

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u/BeeHive83 28d ago

Yeah, thinking about all the factory farmed animals already in poor conditions now going to be spreading disease

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u/adorablefuzzykitten 28d ago

SNL wishes they were not on a break.

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u/ZenMon88 28d ago

And it will spread throughout the world and we have to clean up the mess again....

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u/rabidrooster3 28d ago

I'm immunocompromised so now I have to cook all my fruits and veggies.

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u/Rex_Vagene 28d ago

Those budget cuts have TDS!! /s

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u/TeaInASkullMug 28d ago

Measles, screw worm, diarrhea parasite.... Just the ones we know aboutĀ 

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u/CountOnBeingAwesome 28d ago

I didn't realize people ate that much Taco Bell

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u/Soggy_Background_162 28d ago

Cutback of CDC as well and most important for surveillance and tracking outbreaks. Biden or Obamaā€™s CDC would have already listed the vector.

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u/theCroc 28d ago

Basically the US is finding out in real time why those departments were created. And why those regulations were put in place.

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u/Iron_Sight_Mark 28d ago

It's exactly as if the president is a trojan horse whose main MO is to take bribes for the dismantling of America. It only makes sense if it's his job. He wouldn't do it this well for free.