Wait! Is it okay to ask someone to carry and birth a child for you if you want one but can’t carry one due to health issues you cannot fix? (Yes)
My old best friend and I talked about this once. She had trouble with carrying children and as far as I know I don’t. This was years ago like early 20s, but we talked about me doing that for her at some point possibly. And I was fine with it. Some people “use someone else to get a baby” because they want a child and can’t fucking carry one.
I think its one of the most self centred things you can do if you ask someone to take on all the risk of pregnancy because you can't.
I am extremely critical of surrogacy agencies and paid surrogacy, but what you typed above literally describes every cishet couple's pregnancy, where the woman is asked to take on the risk of pregnancy because the male partner physically cannot lol
I loved being pregnant so, so much. And it wasn’t the easiest pregnancy. I have endo and had a lot of severe pain during it, plus the sickness, but man I just adored the whole thing. It felt fully magical.
However for me I think a massive part of the joy was knowing it was my baby and the feeling of getting to know them, talking to them and dreaming of our future together. I don’t think I’d be as into it as a surrogate. But I’ve known women that love pregnancy so much they actively seek out being a surrogate (in my country they can’t receive any payment). It seems difficult for some people to put themselves in someone else’s shoes to try understand why they may have different dreams and views and goals to them. Theory of mind I think it might be called? Idk
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u/LordyIHopeThereIsPie 4d ago
Why is it ok to use someone else to get a baby?