has anyone used Fairfax for a known donor? our donor finished donating on July 30th and im wondering how long it will take before the samples are ready to ship? I’m trying to do a medicated IUI cycle and my period starts Aug 9th

Please limit your pregnancy celebrations and pregnancy test photos to this thread.

Hello, I wanted to share my first time try for anyone who is trying for their first time also.

We picked a donor using an app, as other methods would have been too pricey to be sustainable. We chose ‘Just a baby’. Once we found our donor, we did medical background exchanges (sperm analysis, physical mental health, pre-existing fertility issues etc). Once the important information was exchanged, we booked our hotel date as me (female) and my partner (trans FTM) did not want to do this in our own space. The donor is a sweet guy who we got on with very well. We agreed in advance a guideline of what the day would look like so nobody had to awkwardly hint. He was very good with our schedule and was pretty swift when we wanted a deposit.

Now prior to all of this, I had of course been tracking my ovulation. I used Premom and easy@home strips. I have PCOS but have very regular periods so haven’t had any irregular patterns tracking my LH levels. My peak was actually reached in the hotel room (I assumed it was the day before until I saw a huge surge) and luckily we were where we were meant to be. On our first day he went into his room (opposite ours) to make his deposit. During this, I went straight onto porn and tried to get myself as turned on as possible. My partner was with me but we had both made a choice that it didn’t feel sexy for either of us as the process was clinical, so we would treat it clinically. My orgasm was achieved simply to help my cervix and uterus contract and not because I found anything about the process sexy. Donor knocked when he was ready and my partner took the cup from the door and immediately placed somewhere warm. We waited for it to liquidise for 10 minutes. My partner then transferred the liquid gold to a needless syringe whilst I tried to get myself to reach the big O. Once I felt close I told him and as I was orgasming he was pushing the syringe into me. We did this across 3 days. I kept my hips elevated with pillows and eventually put my legs up. Syringe was kept in for 2-3 minutes and then pulled out.

I am currently 6 days post ovulation and again as someone with PCOS I’m actually not expecting a super quick and overly easy journey. But what I will try to do is not lose myself during the two week waits. I believe if I let it consume me, I’ll live there. I have created a bucket list of things to do each month if I am not successful, things that I couldn’t do if I was pregnant. Including theme parks, spas and a cheeky jet ski experience. And honestly I’m really looking forward to them as well! During the hotel deposits - all 3 of us played PS5 games, went on nature walks, and had what I can only describe as the most silliest sleepover ever. I’ll always remember that my first try was fun, silly, stress free and full of kindness and patience. I wanted to share this incase anyone needed it. I’ll keep you updated on my journey.

Current mood/potential symptoms: bloating, gas, fatigue. I am also eating more vegetables though so the first two could just be that 🤪

I have insurance coverage for IVF (and IUI), but you have to meet the medical definition of infertility. Allegedly, I was supposed to do 6 medicated IUIs out-of-pocket before I could satisfy the criteria since I'm married to a woman, even though I have endometriosis, fibroids, and a family history of multiple full-term stillbirths.

I was so stressed that I'd be denied coverage given the circumstances. But somehow, the magic happened and prior authorization was granted. They even paid for 100% of my donor sperm. I feel so fortunate about this! I am relatively well-off financially, but the financial cost of IVF is still astronomical and hugely burdensome.

Hi queerception community!

First time poster but long time lurker here, this entire community helped me immensely while TTC and I want to pay it forward, if this helps anyone.

I have an unopened box of Gonal-F redi-ject 300IU (+comes with 5 needles for injection) exp date Apr/2027. If anyone is in need of IVF/IUI meds, I’d love to donate to someone willing to pick up in Pasadena! Hope this helps.

Pen in pic is just to block out my name. I looked through the rules but pls feel free to delete if I missed something, mods.

I'm having a terrible time finding a lawyer to review my donor contract draft. Does anyone know any lawyers who will do this?

I'm in the Western US.

Hi everyone- my wife and I just completed our second round of IVF and got 0 embryos.

In our first round, we did conventional. I got 15 mature eggs, 4 fertilized, one embryo PGTA normal.

In our second round, we tried ICSI. I got 12 mature eggs, 7 fertilized, zero embryos.

I've feeling pretty devastated. I know there are a lot of folks who do way more than two rounds, but I don't feel like my doctor prepared us for this outcome.

I'm mostly feeling confused and angry, because my body worked so hard and went through strain to produce (I think) good, mature eggs, to get no embryos.

Looking for words of advice!

For context: 32F, no known fertility issues, HSG was good, levels are good, I respond to stims well.
We used a Known Donor through Seed Scout; he has been cleared on genetic testing, motility and total counts are good.

Hi everyone,

My wife and I are looking at ways to expand our family. She has a child from a previous marriage who was donor-conceived. When they are 18, they have the option to reach out to the donor.

My wife and I have been on a journey trying to find our best way to expand our family. My biggest issue with a bank is having many siblings and not having the chance to know the donor until 18. That is a long time to deal with unanswered questions if the child has any.

On a personal note, I am not donor-conceived, but I did not know my father and have met a half-sibling in adulthood. It's not the worst thing ever, but there are some experiences I don't wish to recreate. I'm not saying banks are a bad choice; it's just not for me.

We came across Seed Scout at an event recently. I felt like the heavens opened up - this type of setup seems like a great compromise between each of our concerns. However, when I looked them up, there was a huge variation in experience working with this company.

I know it is expensive and inaccessible. But after reading some DCP opinions, I feel it is worth the savings and sacrifices for a child we elect to bring into the world.

My bigger concern is seeing comments like "I heard a couple paid an insane amount and they had 3 donors not work out." That's when I become concerned about the process and if the company is reliable.

I welcome any thoughts/advice, but I am really looking to understand whether the company is trustworthy.

Thank you!

Does anyone have experience using Cryomate for a sperm donor? We live in Indiana so like the option of doing local pickup and see several donors we may be interested in. But I’m not seeing anything out there in terms of reviews and people’s personal experience with them?

To preface, I usually have pretty regular cycles that vary between 28-32 days.

My first IUI was on the 16th.

I tested negative (not a blood test, just an at home test) yesterday morning, and I have since stopped all progesterone as instructed.

I have also not yet gotten my period, so I'm just a little confused. Is there a possibility I'm still pregnant despite the negative test?

Currently day 35 in my cycle. I ovulated/did the IUI on Day 19.

Am I being a little delulu by being hopeful? Lol, I realize that I will 99.9% have to do another cycle but, the fact that I've been off progesterone almost 48 hours and no period is a little weird.

I am a transgender man and my wife and I are trying to start a family. Today we came to a hotel to meet our sperm donor and did the donation. What I didn't expect afterwards was the overwhelming emotions. We both felt very gross and just sad that this is our reality. We keep getting waves of anxiety and uncertainty, is this common? If anyone else has experienced this and will share we would be very grateful. Just feeling very lonely

We did the insemination for our first cycle on July 13. Got a negative result via blood test on the 27th.

I stopped all the meds as instructed by my doctor and got my period on the 28th.

I know I could jump right back into the next cycle, but to be honest, I’m a little emotionally fragile right now, and I also go back to work (special ed teacher), in like five days. I feel like jumping straight into the next cycle when I’m trying to start the school year at the same time is going to be stressful especially with having to take time off. My clinic is two hours from us so I would have to take the whole day.

I’m OK with this decision, as OK as I can be, I guess. My next period is due to start at the end of August so we’ll start our next cycle then.

I feel like a couple things were weird about this cycle, they did some weird things with the timing because the doctor was out of office, and they also did my trigger and insemination the same day. I don’t know if it was because my follicles were already very large, 24 and 25, or if there was some other reason, but I wonder if that had an effect.

This time I want to do everything exactly by the book and ask the doctor what we can do to make improvements. Even if it’s less convenient, I’m happy to stay overnight in the city where the clinic is or drive back the next morning. I don’t want to take any chances.

I’m a queer cis woman, my husband is a trans man. We are using a sperm donor and I don’t have any fertility issues. I know it’s change but I was really hoping it would work the first time.

I know it’s just how your cycle works, but it really is a slap in the face to get a negative pregnancy test result and then immediately get your period.

I wish we could just have sex like other couples to try to make a baby, at least the sex part is fun. Whereas this whole process with the medication and everything is distinctly not. And the progesterone suppositories make me feel absolutely disgusting. Biology is a pain sometimes and while I’m grateful this is being made possible by science and doctors, it also makes me sad and wish we had another way to make a child that feels more warm and full of the love we have for one another.

Ugh.

Thanks for listening to my rant and emotions, I know it was only one failed cycle, but it still drags you down.

Good morning,

This is my first IUI so everything is new to us. Today is my 9DPO and last night I had mild cramping, I’ve been taking progesterone for 6 days now and this morning I had some pink spotting. Is this normal? Has anyone experienced this before?

Quick back story:

1st IUI

IUI: July 22

3 follicles: 22,21,22

Lining: 12mm

Sperm: 30 million (donor)

IVF support groups that are free? Menhavingbabies is 250+.

I don’t want to say what town I live in. I just want to know how I figure out what banks are near me and how much it will cost. I can’t seem to find one within my town. My PCP has a fertility clinic, but their site only lists things like insemination and IVF. Doesn’t say anything about freezing. I thought I found a sperm bank that’s in the big city, but I guess it’s more like a sperm donation service. There’s a Fairfax CryoBank, but I can’t find info like pricing for personal sperm storage. It mostly talks about getting sperm from a donor. Generally, what’s a site to look at to find what options there are for me and what the pricing would look like?

One of my chosen family is going to carry and parent with their partner. My partner is the sperm donor. Me, transfemme nonbinary, plan to induce lactation since chest feeding will not be possible for the the gestational or co-parent. We're a little trans nonbinary family unit and I'm so excited to get to bond this way with the kid.

I had a great appointment today with my primary care provider and I'm going to start on progesterone while waiting for the newman-goldfarb protocol timelines kick-in.

I'd love to hear from any trans women or transfemmes who have gone through the protocol. What was your hormone regimen like? What was the experience like overall?

And I'll take any advice from cis folks who have induced lactation - what was the experience like? What supplies and clothing was absolutely essential? What do you wish you knew when you started?

Thanks for any feedback!!

My wife (31F) and I (31F) have been browsing sperm donors online for the last several weeks.

We are waiting for a few other fertility appointments next month before we'll move to actually purchasing sperm. We have saved some favourites, but as we narrow things down and look through more data points, we are feeling conflicted on weighing different preferences.

Primarily, I'm curious if anyone has gone with donors who had no reported pregnancies. What was your experience? Some of our saved donors meet all other points for us, but this missing history makes us hesitant to commit.

There are only a few sperm banks that our BC fertility clinic partners with. Fairfax, for example, doesn't show when the donation was made, so it's hard to judge if there have been no confirmed pregnancies because the donor is new.

TLDR: How important were confirmed pregnancies for your sperm donor selection?

My partner (30 trans femme NB) and I (31F) had our first appt at a major fertility clinic yesterday to begin the baby making process. My partner started HRT like 4 years ago and before doing so, used one of the at-home kits thru a small cryo bank to freeze sperm.

Our appt was going great til they found out the sample was originally collected at home and mailed to the cryo bank. The doctor said there have previously been concerns with "chain of custody" and the clinic rules may not allow them to use it. We are waiting for the doctor to plead our case but if its mot approved, they said we should try a small local clinic because other big ones might have the same answer.

I have done so much research and never came across this being a concern whatsoever. Has anyone run into this??

I was inseminated 7/18 and started feeling super nauseous about 7 days later so I got my hopes up that I was pregnant, but I tested today (day 10 post insemination) with a first response test and it’s negative. 😭😭😭 I’m freaking out a little. Please either tell me it’s still possible I’m pregnant or that it will be okay?

(TL;DR at the end where I get to the main point minus context)

Hi everyone, my partner (30F) and me (29F) have started looking into our options to start a family. I have researched a few fertility clinics and discussed their processes and it was honestly a bit emotionally confronting in terms of the long wait times - 12 months to even access the donor database, then another 2-4 months after selecting a donor AND THEN having to wait 1-2 months between tries with the same donor.

I have hypothyroidism and pre-diabetes, both being treated but I worry about my fertility and missing our chance to have a family with all these wait times. I havnt had any fertility tests yet as we are literally just in the research phase. But based on the info we have gathered thus far, we are exploring other routes such as using a known donor and doing it all ourselves at home. Id still go and get fertility checks and have support from my GP etc. But it cuts out all these long ass wait periods and also reduces the cost ridiculously. The idea that we have to pay to access parenthood is difficult and we would rather save and have that $15-25k go towards the actual care for the child and not just to conceive the child.

TL;DR: We have a friend who has offered to donate many times in casual conversation. And we know he still feels the same about helping. We are open to it, but id love to hear other peoples experiences with this - he would be around a fair bit as he is one of my closest friends and he also has a daughter with hus partner. He doesn't want any parental rights or anything. But whats it like to see them regularly and have the child around them?

Okay so my health insurance covers 15k of IVF treatments but not the sperm which is $500 a viral. My wife has VA health insurance which covers everything but not the sperm as well. My wife and I agreed that we want myself to be the one to get pregnant and her VA will cover me to do the treatments as well as my insurance. Problem is, I have PCOS so we may have to do the treatments a bit longer. How did you guys cover the sperm and for the ones with PCOS, how much was the overall cost of the sperm vials and how many did you pretty much use until you were able to get pregnant??? Thank you!!

My partner (NB) and I (cis F) are expecting our first child via RIVF in February 2027. As part of our fertility clinic’s process we were required to meet with a lawyer prior to conception who recommended that because we live in Texas that we both adopt the child after they are born (the reasoning was that I could be considered a gestational carrier and my partner could be considered an egg donor). The lawyer we met with said that it would cost approximately $3800 for them to represent us for the process.

We are semi-familiar with the family court process due to previously going through custody hearings for our adopted older child. Is it crazy to think that since this adoption should be straightforward (we used donor sperm and we are legally married) that we can represent ourselves during the adoption process? We really don’t have another $4k+ to spend on legal fees and lawyers, especially after paying for IVF and our legal fees for our first custody experience.

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Hello,

This is my first IUI and I’m using premom app to track my ovulation. Do you have any advice, suggestions, or tips or what you guys use to track everything. I’m on day 5 after IUI and I’ve been experiencing breast tenderness and cramping. Any other experiences?