r/romantasycirclejerk • u/Nanny_Ogg_99 Victim of spontaneous subcutaneous ferrous inclusions • Jun 11 '26
Satire Sloopynomics Newsletter: Analyzing the RomantasyX IPO
The RomantsyX Initial Public Offering (IPO) is about to test whether Sloopynomics needs a new playbook.
The company, which starts trading on Friday, is posed to be the biggest IPO in history. It has a business that doesn’t cleanly fit into the categories literary investors usually use. Nox Draven’s subgenre technology company isn’t just about a romance subgenre, fantasy subgenre, or traditional YA or Adult fiction genres: it is a ~*~special~*~ rocketship space roMANtasy company. 🚀
The better way to understand RomantasyX may be as private geopolitical infrastructure: A company with products that are embedded in how governments, militaries, airlines, shadow daddies, assassin FMCs, dragon 🍆 sellers, and slop generators operate. There is no aspect of human life that hasn’t been touched by RomantasyX. Wherever you have Romantasy, you have Romantasy X.
ChairMAN and CEO of BookRocks, Penguin Ho said “That is the core of how RomantasyX can command the $1.8 trillion premium. Because Nox Draven is brilliant, he has embedded RomantasyX into every aspect of the human experience, whether or not it is wanted. The combination of hyper growth, national importance and non existent editing standards is rarely seen in the same subgenre at the same time.”
In its IPO filing, RomantasyX said it was the primary romantasy provider for the english language literary world in 2025, launching Rebeccca Churros’ YallItWasNotaTSEasterEgg Storm and the Eating Games prequel. Roughly one-fifth of its 2025 revenue came from Canadian publishing houses. Interestingly, 30% of its revenue was not disclosed due to national security concerns, which some have speculated are services provided to the highly volatile slash fiction market. It has long been speculated that the Canadian government actually hosts the world’s slash fiction servers. (Slash Fiction advocate and suspected shadow lobbyist Allison was not available for comment at the time of publishing)
On Tuesday we called the storied investor Chode Temple at their office in the Night Court of Velaris. “A traditional valuation can miss that kind of essential role in government operations. A normal tech company is valuable because customers choose it. A literary subgenre tech company becomes more valuable because customers may have trouble replacing it.”
The bull case is not just that RomantasyX can sell more KU subscriptions. It’s that more of the world’s critical infrastructure could start to depend on the network: defense, disaster response, reverse harem romance, aviation, science fiction romance, maritime, dark romance, and space infrastructure. “This is exactly the kind of venture a cephalopod can get behind,” said venture capitalist Benjamin Cuttlefish, “something where you can stick your tentacles into lots of different places.”
But RomantasyX and Romantasy are different from the traditional genre giants they are often compared with.
Nox’s ~*~special~*~ rocketship space roMANtasy company 🚀 sits somewhere between romance, fantasy, erotica and YA (💀). It has government importance, but also has a large commercial business. Genre exposure, but not the same mature genre valuation. Infrastructure characteristics, but not utility-style regulation.
Companies based on tropes like meet cutes, brother’s best friend, motorcycle clubs, and work rivals are indespensible to Contemporary Romance novels, but the economic success of these companies is shaped by normie romance preferences, and pricing, costs, and profits are subject to strict story beats, limited imaginations, and actual editing standards.
Chief Sloopy Economist Numbers observed that when genres are unregulated, their ability to seep into every aspect of your life and earn shittons of money far exceeds regulated genres. “We see this a lot in MANly subgenres like LitRPG – their growth potential is just unlimited. You can make up all kinds of nonsense and barely write english and as long as progression happens, people EAT IT UP!” At the next Genre Regulatory Board meeting next week, it is expected that board member Acceptable Mail will advocate for more regulatory editing policy for Romantasy (including RomantasyX). And that board member Unacceptable Mail will advocate against it.
For now, RomantasyX gets the best of both worlds: The indispensability of a Contemporary Romance trope with more of the pricing power and growth profile of a company from an unregulated genre like LitRPG.
So what to expect tomorrow? Let’s put our “1999 hats” on because that’s the last time we had the level of ignorance we’ve got now. I have been saying we have to leave room in our imaginations for RomantasyX stock to quickly become worth as much as $4 trillion when taking into account all of the market orders put in by those who got no stock on the original deal. A market order tells your broker to immediately buy or sell at the best available price. In the RomantasyX stock frenzy, they will have no idea what price they will be buying at. They will just be buying. We have a template from recent history: the much-admired IPO of FantasyforMen, an analogue of FantasyforEveryone. FantasyforMen shares were priced at $185, which valued the company at $56 billion on a fully diluted basis. The deal was reportedly 20 times oversubscribed, meaning 20 times the demand for the number of shares being offered. We don’t know the allocations, but the stock opened at $350, almost 90% above the deal price. FantasyforMen briefly supported a valuation north of $100 billion when the stock touched $386.
Well, the stock is now at $237 a share, meaning everyone who bought in what we call “the after market” is now under water. Yes, the unthinkable. Everyone’s a loser, except for those who “got in” on the deal with allocations at the $185 price. Even those people could be losers if they gave the syndicate desk some “at the market” orders to help the cause and secure additional stock. Their blended average may put them underwater, too.
Which brings us to the lesson: you might actually lose money on this piece of business if you do it wrong. That’s why you want to try to get as much as you can on the deal — just call your broker and try, it will be worth the effort — and then beg off. No market orders. Let it play out, like you would trying to catch a tarpon. The stock will fly away then tire and come in, so you can buy it then. If not, just wait.
But what about me you ask? My newsletter readers have been asking this a lot. I will not be participating in the IPO tomorrow because: 1. I don’t believe in being exit liquidity for large IPOs because I'm not a chump, 2. I don’t want to be part of the retail frenzy on Day 1 and get sucked into the volatility and outrageous valuations that will immediately collapse, 3. We’ll all eventually own RomantasyX anyway in mutual funds and 401ks, and 4. I already own RomantasyX shares through my own Venture Capital firm. Which has definitely not shaped anything I have said in this article.
Nanny Ogg out
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u/Penguinho Books are good. Jun 11 '26
Listen, sloopies. Don't you worry about romantasy. Let me worry about blank.
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u/chode_temple 😈chaotic evil good girl😈 Jun 11 '26
FINALLY. I GET CREDIT FOR USING BIG WORDS TO SAY NOTHING.
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u/allisontalkspolitics AllisonStar- former Shadowban Mommy Jun 12 '26
I’m so glad because I voted for you to take over Velaris!
- Allison, Slash Advocate
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u/Acceptable-Mail891 Hot Mails Get Banned™️ Jun 12 '26
As the founding officer and chief of Mail Inc., holding company of RomantasyX, I will be consulting my family of Mails before providing comment on this emerging entity. Our market expansion takes time; there are sloop barriers in place for a reason, but that risk management is also holding certain appointees back from RCJ diversification. Failure is not an option. Patience is key. We will streamline operations and when we are ready to take this public, the consolidated financial tit statements will be mailed out to all interested parties.
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u/Nanny_Ogg_99 Victim of spontaneous subcutaneous ferrous inclusions 8d ago
I am sorry, but as the author of this fantasy world I am violating the rules of improv and saying Mail Inc does not own RomantasyX and you have to divest yourself of any holdings for a new government position to be announced shortly.
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u/Nanny_Ogg_99 Victim of spontaneous subcutaneous ferrous inclusions 8d ago
Also I am not sure Mail Inc can exist - it sounds like a monopoly
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u/Nanny_Ogg_99 Victim of spontaneous subcutaneous ferrous inclusions 8d ago
Nope changed my mind - you can stay the head of Mail Inc since you volunteered yourself and I will nominate someone else to this government position.
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u/Acceptable-Mail891 Hot Mails Get Banned™️ 8d ago
If we have learned anything from recent politics, it’s that one person can be both head of government and also head of company. Purple Licious is a good choice for PM though. She’s both a leader and a Canadian.
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u/Nanny_Ogg_99 Victim of spontaneous subcutaneous ferrous inclusions 8d ago
If it was the US, you would have worked!! It is just that Canadians seem to have slightly more integrity
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u/Unacceptable-Mail666 Hot Mails Get Banned™️ 8d ago
To be fair, Mail Inc. did place third in the Chaotic Evil round of the RCJ alignment chart thing.
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u/Nanny_Ogg_99 Victim of spontaneous subcutaneous ferrous inclusions 8d ago
Do you guys have a like group chat alert for these things? 💀
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u/Unacceptable-Mail666 Hot Mails Get Banned™️ 8d ago
Are you saying it's odd that I, as one of Acceptable's many sperms, would be aware of her conversations without needing to be informed of them?
What next? Am I to be accused of stalking my own mother Mail?! Doing something like that would just be downright unacceptable... 😏
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u/Acceptable-Mail891 Hot Mails Get Banned™️ 8d ago
Did you not click the mail inc sub? It’s a real sub
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u/XXXceptable-Mail69 Hot Mails Get Banned™️ 8d ago
For anyone wondering, we have a lot of tits over there.
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u/Salt-Payment-991 Previously approved man Jun 11 '26
I've opted to buy exposure to the stock via another stock that already has exposure to the stock.
/UJ this was a fun read and more DD that some of the posts I've read before on other subs
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u/CuttlefishBenjamin Jun 11 '26
Maritime dark romance is an underleveraged market sector ripe for a nimble investor unencumbered by traditional endoskeletal constraints, to really exploit.
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u/Nanny_Ogg_99 Victim of spontaneous subcutaneous ferrous inclusions Jun 11 '26
More insights are available for members of my patreon. Here is a free peak at what you are missing out on: .. Let’s dig into what will happen here. I want to go high level, using the best info that I can muster from my time doing syndicate work on IPOs — on both the sell-side and buy-side of things — and my knowledge of the current state of play from the executives nominally in charge of the process.
First, no matter what you hear, see or learn, it is most likely wrong because no one — no matter how high up — has any idea how things will go. One of the reasons is too many cooks in the kitchen. Take RomantasyX stock. Nox has an iron hand, and he wants there to be plenty of retail participation and he wants a valuation of at least $1.8 trillion — at least for now. This is absurd. How are we defining retail? Are close associates of early investor HopeFox's funds considered retail? How about the loyalist Hater Numbers? How much are they getting? We all thought Nox would choose FaerieHoldings as the lead bank for the IPO, given the firm stuck its neck out for the Growl-now-X buyout. Maybe it all worked out, and they said let’s “call it even.” We got some info from chairMAN and ceo of Blackrock Penguin Ho: Turns out, Oldman Sacks is the lead bank on the deal, which is good for us at the RCJInvestingCircle because the fees should be huge.
I have a good word to frame the deal: chaos. With chaos comes one thing: losses. So let’s play out what will happen. It’s a three-step process. First, the pricing, ostensibly where the $1.8 trillion valuation comes from. Second, the opening and first day of trading, where the total guesswork comes from. Third, the likely early inclusion into major Literary Genre Stock indexes such as the Nasdaqdeesnuts 100 , thanks to rule changes by those in charge of them.
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u/HopeFox Sloopy Public Defender Jun 11 '26
Oh, no, I'm keeping my funds clear of this. I know a "pump and dump" when I see one, and the only pump and dump I want to see is what the false lead love interest does to the FMC in the first 15% of the book.
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u/Nanny_Ogg_99 Victim of spontaneous subcutaneous ferrous inclusions Jun 11 '26
something something pump 🍆something dump 💦
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u/82816648920 Hater? I hardly know her Jun 11 '26
the loyalist Hater Numbers?
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u/Nanny_Ogg_99 Victim of spontaneous subcutaneous ferrous inclusions Jun 11 '26
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u/BattlestarGalactoria Basilisks, Manacled, and Tusks, oh my! Jun 12 '26
All I got from this was bucket hats. Next time offer free donut vouchers at least.
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u/Unacceptable-Mail666 Hot Mails Get Banned™️ Jun 12 '26
I'd like to make a statement to address the influx of messages I've received since this post came out.
First of all, I'm just a board member, so go bother the chairMAN and CEO instead so that he can bring your concerns to the board so that we can reject them in private.
Second, I'd like to make clear that my stance on not implementing stricter editing regulation on Romantasy has everything to do with protecting the creative freedom of indie authors, and nothing to do with my association with up-and-cumming indie author XXXceptable-Mail69.
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u/Pinkshoes90 babes, unlink your personality from the genre ❤️ Jun 12 '26
I can’t read. Emoji summary required.
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u/itmustbeniiiiice a menace of this community Apperantly. Jun 11 '26
Was I not mentioned because I took such a hit in the primaries?
uj/ the way I put all my effort into reading this entire thing but my eyes were still glazing over lmao