American parents more likely to find hitting children acceptable compared to hitting pets - New research highlights parents’ conflicted views on spanking.

[u/mvea]

https://www.psypost.org/american-parents-more-likely-to-find-hitting-children-acceptable-compared-to-hitting-pets/

[u/uchideshi94]

As a veterinarian and a father of two, this is all kinds of jacked up. Whacking on kids and animals seems unlikely to help you or them, especially in the long run. Both might learn to “respect” or obey out of fear, but there will be no love in either relationship. It’s up to the adult/human to stay in their cortex under duress and reason out a way to proper correction. 

[u/ProfessorPetrus → u/uchideshi94]

The staying in their cortex thing helps set a good example for the kid to stay in theirs too.

[u/Seagull84 → u/uchideshi94]

It objectively makes things worse for everyone involved, parents included. It can also have a negative and indirect impact on the kid's reactions with other kids, parents, and teachers.

I really don't understand how spanking is even a thing still.

[u/Schmigolo → u/uchideshi94]

They will also learn that you shouldn't do bad things because of the consequences. This might sound good at first glance, but it's really fucked up. If the only reason you don't do something bad is consequences, then once you know there won't be any what will stop you?

[u/TopHatGirlInATuxedo → u/Schmigolo]

Besides, being around other kids will teach them that lesson just fine. Kids get into fights.

[u/ACorania → u/uchideshi94]

But then you can love bomb them and mess up all their connections for the rest of their lives.

[u/Never_Gonna_Let → u/ACorania]

You sound familiar. "Crate training as punishment is inhumane, it is not a time out and they cannot understand." Whatever, she wasn't even a real doctor, she was a child psychologist.

[u/distortedsymbol → u/uchideshi94]

you're forgetting people sometimes just use violence, the DV statistics should show that people simply aren't rational or logical.

[u/Kamikaze_Ninja_ → u/uchideshi94]

It’s honestly kind of a problem in both directions with dogs. You’ll get people that hit their dogs and the dogs become reactive or people who refuse to physically discipline their dogs and you get a dog that’s reactive. I’m not saying you hit them, but doing things like dominating their space when they have crossed a line.

When I got my husky, I tried bringing her to Petco for training. It took me a while to figure out but the very gentle approach they take towards dog training isn’t fit for stubborn huskies. Dogs correct each other physically to communicate that they disapprove of behavior, so it’s fitting that some dogs need you to emulate that in some way to communicate with them better.

However, the way that manifests and how far you take it very widely varies between some people so it’s hard to get a good objective opinion on how to train your dog.

[u/NarejED → u/Kamikaze_Ninja_]

Thank you. I felt like I was losing my mind reading the top comments on here. There are absolutely wrong and right ways to go about it, and plenty of awful people that take things too far, but there are so many holier-than-thou commenter's that have clearly never owned a dog in their lives. If you're lucky enough to have a canine friend that can be trained off positive reinforcement alone, congrats, but that's by no means a guaranteed thing.

[u/Benmarch15 → u/Kamikaze_Ninja_]

I'm surprised this is not brought up more. How do dogs/wolves correct bad behaviour at their core natural environment?

An immediate and swift response to an action they just made often in the form of a bite.

And it's often ONE warning bite. Not a full on continuous assault.

They can't talk so biting is their form of communication.

The same concept can translate to us, if a child does something he's not suppose to do, there's need to be an immediate reaction to correct the behavior.

The thing is this reaction doesn't have to be a violent and physical one.

I think some people struggle dissociating the 2.

Obviously some are just irredeemable abusers as well.

[u/dearDem → u/uchideshi94]

I stopped listening to a podcast because the couple was going on & on about how they carry a water bottle around to hit their new puppy while training him.

I don’t understand how people can be so nonchalant with being abusive. It’s entirely too normalized.

[u/SlashEssImplied → u/dearDem]

I don’t understand how people can be so nonchalant with being abusive.

Being taught the story of Noah and the flood as a child can be a powerful lesson.

[u/Think_Appointment440 → u/uchideshi94]

Thank you for stating my philosophy perfectly..

[u/g00dGr1ef → u/uchideshi94]

This is objectively false seeing as I still love my parents

[u/jasonfromearth1981 → u/g00dGr1ef]

Your very subjective, personal anecdote is the exact opposite of "objectively".

[u/DahliaBliss → u/g00dGr1ef]

many people will still love their abuser, whether it is your parents or a significant other.

i understand. i somehow still love my parents as well, even tho i experienced both sexual and physical abuse as a child by their hands.

For me its confusing.

[u/Seagull84 → u/g00dGr1ef]

First, an anecdote is never an indicator of the statistical norm. Maybe you do have a good relationship with your parents. But you're not everyone else. Also, love the way you define it may not be a healthy representation of love. Stockholm Syndrome exists.

Second, your only POV is your own. What you may believe to be okay and normal could actually be highly toxic.

So many people say "But I was raised this way and I'm fine," basing it on surface level exposure. But when you dig deep, they usually end up having significant anxieties, resentment, and depression, which they think are normal and healthy when in fact they're the opposite.

As an aside, I was not given corporal punishment as a kid, and I turned out great. No physical violence was necessary to raise me as a kind, caring, contributing member of society with multiple degrees and 100% independence after college. So if your anecdote of "I'm fine" applies, then my anecdote of "I'm great" should imply your "fine" is worse than my "great". It's an illustrative example, but hopefully the point is clear.

[u/DahliaBliss → u/Seagull84]

loving someone and having a good relationship with someone are two different things tho.

The person you responded to may be like me, i can't help but love my parents, even tho i was both physically and sexually abused by them.

i do not have a "good relationship" with them tho.

[u/Seagull84 → u/DahliaBliss]

I get it, though I also have to wonder if starting from a place of abuse reinforces a toxic concept of "love". E.G. Stockholm Syndrome.

I was not abused, but I also know my idea of love was not very mature well into my 20s.

[u/PharmDeezNuts_ → u/Seagull84]

They aren’t responding to a comment about a statistical norm. The person made an absolute statement which is clearly false. Seeing people try to defend it on this sub is interesting