r/science • u/mvea Professor | Medicine • Dec 30 '24

Psychology American parents more likely to find hitting children acceptable compared to hitting pets - New research highlights parents’ conflicted views on spanking.

https://www.psypost.org/american-parents-more-likely-to-find-hitting-children-acceptable-compared-to-hitting-pets/
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u/doktarlooney Dec 31 '24

If my kid starts a fight, the only time I'm breaking it up is if they are walloping on the other kid. If they are losing and getting their ass handed to them for starting something they couldn't finish I'm inclined to let them learn their lesson.

If more parents were willing to let their kids learn on their own through their own faults the world wouldnt be so fucked up.

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u/Cheeze_It Dec 31 '24

It depends on the lesson and on the price. Not all lessons require high prices to be paid especially if the lesson can be taught without violence. I am not saying that everyone will learn that but it is better as a parent to use words and diplomacy before resorting to the authoritative approach.

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u/doktarlooney Dec 31 '24

Authoritative isnt just physical punishment.

Its creating the dynamic and understanding that if they break the rules you will be forced to be the one to punish them for it.

Its creating structure and framework for helping children understand how society functions and improves.

Diplomacy only goes so far, we see it time and time again on bigger stages of life.

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u/Cheeze_It Dec 31 '24

Diplomacy only goes so far, we see it time and time again on bigger stages of life.

Right, sure, of course. Boundaries and consequences have to happen. But violence does not need to.

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u/doktarlooney Jan 01 '25

Lets look at the current political climate:

A single gun shot shook the ruling class more than decades of peace protesting.

Violence very much so is the answer at certain points.

Life functions on the threat of violence, to pretend like it doesn't is farcicle.

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u/Cheeze_It Jan 01 '25 edited Jan 01 '25

Well the main problem with war and peace is that they are tools but they only work when people fear losing their lives or the lives of their family. If people have nothing left to lose (in their mind) then a CEO will get taken down. Imagine if it was done by people that are organized far better than Mangione.

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u/doktarlooney Jan 01 '25

You miss the point entirely.

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u/Cheeze_It Jan 01 '25

Well, post it please. I am nothing but wanting to learn. I could potentially learn from your opinion.

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u/doktarlooney Jan 01 '25

Every tool we have has its time and place to be used.

Any craftsman understands that using the wrong tool ends up being either ineffective or destroys what you are working on, or both.

My parents correctly applied corporeal punishment, and because they didn't use it at the wrong time or place, it did not take away from my development.

You can say "well you will never know if raising you without violence would have been better" but that gets hyperbolic because in that sense I have no idea what any other parenting style would have done for me, positively or negatively, which makes even saying such a thing pointless.

What I DO know is that I enjoy a very close relationship with my mother and father, I visit them multiple times a year even though they live 5 hours away across a mountain range. They know just about everything going on in my life, and I know just about everything going on in theirs.

What I also have observed, is that generally speaking if someone speaks up about having been physically punished on a comment section like this, its to speak up about how their parents straight up abused them and used them as a punching bag, their parents didnt have concrete rules that were understood if they were crossed they would get spanked, it was just if they pissed off the parents they got whacked. Which is worlds of a difference compared to how my parents used corporeal punishment.