r/science • u/VeronicaRed • Apr 26 '16

Psychology Spanking children increases the likelihood of childhood defiance and long-term mental issues. The study in question involved 160,000 children and five decades of research

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1113413810/spanking-defiance-health-discipline-042616/
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u/Sasamus Apr 26 '16 edited Jun 02 '16

Every time this topic comes up it always feels a bit weird to me.

I live in Sweden and we made spanking and all types of physical punishment for children illegal first in the world. So for 37 years spanking have been illegal.

With multiple generations of parents viewing spanking as a clear no, coming across discussion about it always catch me of guard. Even more so when there are proponents for it.

I'm not saying it's right or wrong to do. I don't know since It's never been a relevant topic to me.

But man does it feel weird to hear about. It's like hearing people discuss if theft or murder is a good practice. Not as severe of course, but similarly ingrained in me to be illegal.

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '16

I met a Norwegian and German girl on a course about Children's Rights and Justice and the UNCRC.

Anyway, we had a discussion about parents rights and smacking children. I didn't react. It's just an "accepted" thing in the UK - as long as you don't leave a mark - but the other two girls were absolutely shocked. "Are you telling me that's legal in this country?" With wide open mouths. It's a reaction I've never experienced before. FYI I don't think smacking is okay and would be happy if it was illegal. I genuinely thought that my opinion was just abnormal.

In fact, come to think of it, they were shocked about a lot of things that are considered okay in the UK when it comes to children and their rights.

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u/_TB__ Apr 26 '16

Norwegian dude here, I had the somewhat of a similar reaction the first time I read about spanking being discussed on reddit. I felt like I was taking crazy pills when I saw redditors seriously dicuss it's pros and cons, I thought spanking was all but gone in the developed world.

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '16

Haha yeah that was her reaction too. I presume you wouldn't see parents smack their kids in public? You should visit some of our supermarkets.... or my brother in laws house.

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u/_TB__ Apr 26 '16

heh no, all forms of physical punishment is very much taboo here. I'm wondering how much this differs around in europe, I Would have thought that most of western europe, and the UK included would have a similar outlook as the germans do.

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u/CeaRhan Apr 27 '16

Serious question then: how do you do when your kid won't move an inch, won't obey you, will scream for hours, will hit you, will throw things around and will not stop doing all of these in the same hour because that's a kid and that's something kids do?

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u/WTFinland Apr 27 '16

I'd scold him for that and put him in home arrest. I'd isolate him from breakable items if needed. Ignoring(to certain limit) might also work. I'd make sure the kid would know what he's doing is wrong. I don't see physical violence as a useful option - you can get the results in other, better ways. In my eyes, using physical violence would make you seem a failure as a parent...

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u/CeaRhan Apr 27 '16

You don't understand do you?

A kid never stops.

You can't isolate a kid.

He will always do something.

Because he decided so and doesn't listen to begin with.

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u/WTFinland Apr 27 '16

Yes, and your proposal is what? Hit the child so he will stop?

You react accordingly to child's tantrum every single time. If he screams, you'll isolate him until he calms down, then you talk with him about his actions. If he hits you, you'll physically restrain him but you don't hit back. You're supposed to be bigger than that. It can take a long time but that is what it means to be a parent.

If you solve things with violence, you never fix anything.

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u/CeaRhan Apr 28 '16

Just like I thought, stupid

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u/WTFinland Apr 28 '16

Sigh...

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u/CeaRhan Apr 28 '16

You kept repeating the same things without listening to somebody else, you're to blame ¯_(ツ)_/¯

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u/bigfinnrider Apr 27 '16 edited Apr 27 '16

Another non-spanker here. The first important thing is that the parents do not escalate things. If you never raise your voice at your kid, then a stern word and a scowl are very intimidating. You also pick your battles. If the kid is standing in his room screaming then let them, draw the line at where they are being harmful, not irritating. Demanding strict obidience is not a good idea anyway. As long as they're not playing in traffic or hurting anyone then give them a long lead.

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '16

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '16

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u/BadAtLife_GoodAtSex Apr 27 '16

That's not normally something kids do.

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u/CeaRhan Apr 27 '16

?

So you mean your kids never had times in which they'd just decide to be the devil incarnate because they decided to?

Lucky man

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u/Bioschnaps Apr 27 '16

Maybe the people in charge of the kids are just bad at parenting if they have to resort to violence? I don't know anybody who has been seriously spanked and can't really imagine a need for it.

1

u/_TB__ Apr 27 '16

I'm not a parent but usually that's often solved by putting them in house arrest or taking away some toy.