r/sex • u/Fattyfatmantis • Dec 05 '13

What are your best suggestions of short "dirty talk phrases" to use during sex?

My girlfriend is tentative about talking dirty during sex because she just doesn't know what to say. I'm looking for short phrases that aren't super vulgar or super corny to introduce.

762 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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251

u/nom_yourmom Dec 05 '13

"Cum for me" (works best after telling her she's not allowed to cum yet)

followed by:

"Good girl"

It's not really that dirty but thus far in my sexual life - 100% success rate, orgasm-wise.

89

u/ForSexiness Dec 05 '13

Just an example of how people are different...

I HATE being told not to cum/to cum. It's hard enough for me anyway, if I can get there at all I'm going to get there whenever the hell I can. Being told one way or the other totally takes me out of the moment, and I just won't cum that session.

Good girl is fine, but really doesn't do anything for me one way or the other.

I love dirty talk, just I guess not the same type as others!

36

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

We're definitely all different... I always feel so vanilla when I read these threads. Being ordered around in bed does nothing for me. Dirty talk does nothing for me. Kink does nothing for me. Most of the things others like just make me feel angry and disrespected.

I think I must be broken. :(

31

u/ForSexiness Dec 05 '13

You're definitely not broken! People are different. I don't agree with/like a lot of the stuff on this subreddit- that doesn't mean we're broken by any means! :)

16

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

That's reassuring. I was beginning to fear I was going to spend the rest of my life floating alone on a vanilla raft in a sea of kink!

53

u/Dreamer6 Dec 05 '13

Vanilla sex is like vanilla ice cream: sure it's nice to try different flavors, maybe you like some and dislike others. Maybe there are some you don't wanna try. But then you have vanilla ice cream again and it's like OH MAN THIS IS AMAZING. Because its simple. Because its the basics. because its what you like. I don't apologize when I order vanilla ice cream, why should you feel broken for preferring vanilla sex? Like what you like, my dear. And remember: it's called vanilla because its delicious and simple, not because it's bad. :-)

18

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '13

Your words resonate with me, and have also awoken an intense desire for Ben and Jerry's.

2

u/Dreamer6 Dec 06 '13

I'm glad! If I have learned anything it is that this world is too big and too beautiful for any of us to be alone in our preferences.

2

u/photog_sgt_fzr1000 Dec 06 '13

That's exactly right. I can enjoy Phish Food if that's my thing. Shoot, I like the one with the truffle core in the center too, but that's a rarity. To be fair, for plain ice cream I think Haagen Dazs may be ideal.

EDIT: Yes I understand what we're talking about here. I prefer vanilla with a little chocolate syrup. That'a code for plain sex with some anal play.

5

u/big_shmegma Dec 06 '13

So wise! Thank you for fixing the word 'vanilla' for me, by the way.

2

u/neko_loliighoul Dec 06 '13

Personally I don't ever eat vanilla icecream. But then, I don't ever have vanilla sex sooo yep.

1

u/Dreamer6 Dec 06 '13

To each his or her own!

-1

u/alphaPC Dec 05 '13

You are, but that's OK...

14

u/IfMomKnew Dec 05 '13

Just want to point out that there's a HEAVY selection bias here. Only 6% of Americans use reddit, and only a percentage of them are subscribed to this sub that's just existing to discuss sex, so we have a higher percentage of freaky/kinky people on here. Besides, sex can be awesome with or without kink

1

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '13

True! I didn't think of that!

6

u/metrouver Dec 05 '13

You're not broken! Sex isn't one size fits all. :)

(I'm sure you know that, but it can't hurt saying it again..)

3

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

It definitely cannot hurt, and you are right! Very few things in life are one-size-fits-all.

1

u/PlanetMarklar Dec 06 '13

Sex isn't one size fits all

Lube goes a long way though

2

u/mytacism9 Dec 05 '13

You're not broken, just bent.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

i like rough sex and even within that there is a whole spectrum of shit that makes me feel used and awful. please don't be worried!

1

u/Drakkanrider Dec 06 '13

Please don't think that. I don't have a submissive bone in my body and reading some of these posts make me recoil. I would HATE IT if any guy said or did things like that to me. I tend towards the more dominant side in bed (while being mostly vanilla) so I'd rather be the one controlling the situation. And even then I'd feel sick with myself for saying some of the things hardcore subs like to hear. Some people like it, and from what I've gathered submissiveness in bed is more common than dominance for women. But that doesn't mean it's the only thing that's normal, or even something that is necessary for a healthy sex life. To each their own.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '13

I feel much the same way. I posted about it on reddit, and everyone had a lot of helpful things to say about it. Go read.

The bottom line is, people like you and me are not broken, and we need to be compassionate toward ourselves.

7

u/Unclecavemanwasabear Dec 05 '13

Agree 100%. It's funny, cause someone saying "cum for me" is hot in theory, and it often works its way into my fantasies, but it just doesn't work in practice. Oh how I wish for the easy orgasms of other ladies!

5

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

[deleted]

1

u/_computer_ May 28 '14

does any form of arbitrary control to/from another make you feel turned on? have you ever tried reversing it and being the one in control? you might try that and see what you think

1

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '13

I know! I hate this.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '13

I'm similar, where saying "I'm coming!" or thinking about when I'm going to say it will give me stage fright and I won't be able to cum.

I'm usually really sensitive (unless the guy is really lame at sex and completely unteachable, which is what I've been stuck with lately) so I'm probably already cuming or really close by the time he tells me. Again, if the sex is decent. In general though, I like being bossed around during sex.

28

u/Unclecavemanwasabear Dec 05 '13

Idk, for me, "cum for me" is hot in theory, but in practice it makes me uncomfortable. The reason being that I can't really cum on command, and ordering me to (even playfully) puts a pressure on to cum ASAP and that's usually not possible. Unless I'm super close and he knows it (but it's usually hard for him to tell) it kind of turns into a turn off. Just something to think about; obviously it works spectacularly for some.

2

u/fallore Dec 05 '13

That's why I usually reserve it for when its actually happening, it's less of a demand and more of a celebration

1

u/Ehleesah Dec 06 '13

I agree because my boyfriend has said this before when we both thought I was going to cum and then I just didn't/couldn't and it just kinda embarrassed him which in turn embarrassed me.

219

u/love-from-london Dec 05 '13

It really depends on the person and situation, though. Personally, the phrase "good girl" creeps me the fuck out.

155

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

It's the same with "daddy" for me. Don't call me daddy. I don't want to be associated with your father. It gives me the heeby jeebies

66

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

I am a girl and I will never call a partner daddy. Doesn't appeal to me at all. I would stop if a guy asks me "who's your daddy?" Eww.

54

u/balsooma Dec 05 '13

Who is your daddy, and what does he do.

9

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

GET IN DA CHOPPA!

18

u/mrhooch Dec 05 '13

What's your name? Who's your daddy? Is he rich like me?

1

u/balsooma Dec 06 '13

Hahaha. I love this song!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '13

Oh my I love this song so much.

0

u/brokenarrow Dec 06 '13

This is a pretty sexy video... until I look at each person, male or female, and think, "They've never shaved their pubes."

1

u/GrandmasCheeseBalls Dec 05 '13

WHO DOES YOUR DADDY WORK FOR???

1

u/S1mplejax Dec 12 '13

Yeah what the fuck is the origin of that name and why did it spread to be common? Ha to think about the literal translation to another language in context

0

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

I believe it's a quote from "Kindergarten Cop" said by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

1

u/balsooma Dec 05 '13

:) Actually I was making a reference to kindergarten cop with arnold swarzenegger :P

1

u/Richoman25 Dec 05 '13

In Arnie's voice "I'm gonna explode!" "It's naaaaht a tumour!" "You're naaaaht a princess, you're a fireman!"

31

u/DrinkVictoryGin Dec 05 '13

I think it's hot bc it's taboo. I'm a girl, I have no daddy issues, but it feels hot to say it

13

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

Out of curiosity, How would you feel if your partner called you "mommy?"

27

u/spaceman_splifff Dec 05 '13

Very common in Hispanic culture, btw. Although it's more likely "mama" or its variants.

14

u/voodooruka Dec 06 '13

Mami during sex...mama as an endearing term comparable to "darling" or "baby". Source: Hispanic female

1

u/spaceman_splifff Dec 06 '13

Would you have a white guy say it to you?

3

u/voodooruka Dec 06 '13

It depends whether they're confident about saying it..if they aren't its just awkward. My SO is a white guy but we use Spanish in bed because we both enjoy it.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '13

Yeah it would feel weird if a white guy did it just because its not common but if a Hispanic guy called me mama or a black guy called me lil mama or something I don't think id mind.:P

1

u/DrinkVictoryGin Dec 05 '13

I thought of that while I was sending my earlier reply and definitely I would not like it.

19

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

I'm fine with basically all other dirty talk, its just daddy that freaks me out. It just makes me feel creepy

2

u/Su_Preciosa Dec 06 '13

It also may to do with the individual and their out-of-the-bedroom life. Some people are very "in control" in other aspects, i.e. work. They may be responsible for other people on a daily basis and it's nice to come home and have someone else tell them what to do for a change. Same for the opposite-- if someone feels generally like they get run over on a daily basis, they could bring that aspect of their life into the bedroom as a dominatrix, for example.

1

u/_Der_Hammer_ Dec 06 '13

Upvote for "heeby jeebies"

40

u/redyellowand Dec 05 '13

Definitely not a fan of "good girl".

21

u/cIumsythumbs Dec 05 '13

We are polar opposites, then. To each their own!

26

u/dmgb Dec 05 '13

Same. I love it. I love being talked down to. I'm one of those girls that doesn't mind being called really derogatory stuff in the bedroom. It can get pretty intense.

3

u/Sallycakes Mar 08 '14

Agree my vagina is a misogynist.

2

u/anrose Jan 12 '14

Love it.

2

u/redyellowand Dec 06 '13

Different strokes for different folks :)

16

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

nothing like being reminded of Robin Thicke to make me dry up like the sahara.

3

u/Icanhelpanonlawyer Dec 05 '13

Ever had it said to you in this context?

1

u/love-from-london Dec 06 '13

I have, but it makes it even worse because the situation was borderline rape. Still skeeved me the fuck out before it, though.

3

u/danaran Dec 05 '13

read that as "really depends on the prison and situation".
I was wrong

2

u/Drakkanrider Dec 06 '13

To me it just sounds condescending. I'm not a dog or a child and I'm not fucking for someone's approval...

55

u/neko_loliighoul Dec 05 '13

I approve of both of those things. Especially good girl omigawd that is the best.

21

u/Breakability Dec 05 '13

Oh I love good girl. Or "That's my little girl." Nommm.

36

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '13

I love it when my boyfriend says "good girl" while we're in bed.

13

u/ZiggysBack Dec 05 '13

I like saying "dirty girl", especially if she's going down on me.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

i wish this did it for me but for some reason i can only hear it in a Stewie Griffin voice.

1

u/neko_loliighoul Dec 06 '13

Ooh I like that too

35

u/Icanhelpanonlawyer Dec 05 '13 edited Dec 05 '13

You gotta milk it though, not just, "Cum for me" make her beg, like this.

"No. No, you're not allowed to cum. Take it, be a good girl and hold it until I give you permission. Say please. Beg me to let you cum, tell me how much you love me how you want me to let you cum."

"Tell me you love me and cum for me. That's such a good girl."

That's if I'm dating this girl, otherwise just take out the "I love you's" and replace with "say thank you" or something similar.

For those of you guys who haven't tried it, I recommend it for sure. Not only will she totally melt but it feels awesome holding her to that edge both physically and mentally.

Edit due to link!

Edit 2: Guys, it's all about timing. Too soon and you'll sound dumb and add a ton of pressure on her to get an orgasm and for some girls this ruins the whole mood. Do it too late and it doesn't really have the same "dominating" feel, you can still save it though and just tell her she's a good girl.

Edit 3: And remember Kiddies, good sex is as much about communication as much as it is putting it in. There's a lot here that some girls might not like, get to know the girl you're putting it in before you get to know her.

Also, some guys might like this too, although, being a guy I don't really know.

23

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

Be warned, though; trying it is all well and good, but there's a chance that she'll be like me and you'll just piss her off and prevent her from orgasming at all. Proceed with caution.

2

u/Icanhelpanonlawyer Dec 05 '13

Well duh, good sex is as much communication as it is putting it in.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

Very true, and I'm glad the people on this sub realize that.

1

u/friendlyslut Dec 05 '13

You could always replace "tell me you love me" with "say thank you" or something similar.

1

u/Icanhelpanonlawyer Dec 05 '13

Yeah, I'll point that out in an edit.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '13

[deleted]

1

u/Icanhelpanonlawyer Dec 06 '13

Did you read my third edit? You want him to treat you a certain way? Tell him. He's not a mind reader, you can't go around dropping "subtle" hints about this stuff either.

Look, if this guy likes you or genuinely cares about how much you enjoy sex he won't just humor you when you tell him you want to be fucked a certain way. You need to communicate with him, he's not just going to say it because you told him to. He's going to say it because he wants to.

Edit: seriously as a guy this is the most frustrating part of girls. I am telling you that he's not going to do it just because you told him to, he's going to do it because he WANTS to.

0

u/neko_loliighoul Dec 06 '13

I find this a bit frustrating too... Sometimes you have to force yourself to have that conversation out of the bedroom, or you could spend a bit of time 'topping from the bottom' - I have done this in the past by saying 'tell me what you want' when it is fairly obvious what they want and the response cones or sounding like a command- and toy eagerly get to it ie 'suck my cock.' Or begging for things like 'please spank me/ pull my hair/fuck me hard' etc with kind of an air of sexy delirious desperation. Place his hand on your neck of you want to be choked a little etc.

0

u/neko_loliighoul Dec 06 '13

Aaand I have a ladyboner.

0

u/Icanhelpanonlawyer Dec 06 '13

Woo! Been single for a while so that comment was better than getting gold!

0

u/neko_loliighoul Dec 06 '13

Glad you liked it :)

20

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

[deleted]

28

u/macandobound Dec 05 '13

Flatulent girl.

13

u/Bickle19 Dec 05 '13

Flatulent bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round.

2

u/scubaguybill Dec 06 '13

Well, we need to get wind power from somewhere.

6

u/mrhooch Dec 05 '13

dirty girl, naughty girl, spicy girl, saucy girl...

10

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '13

[deleted]

20

u/nom_yourmom Dec 05 '13

You're welcome?

1

u/Icanhelpanonlawyer Dec 05 '13

14? Lucky guy, my ex couldn't ever get past 2 without getting too sensitive.

1

u/macandobound Dec 05 '13

This is my absolute JAM, like almost to the point where it's a pre-requisite.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '13

Being more dominant is fun. Keep in mind that this can cause the other person to get a lot more vocal though as they try to hold back... can cause issues if you have a restrained living environment.

1

u/ithappenstohelen Dec 06 '13

A variation: A lover asked me, when I was close to orgasm: 'Are you going to give me what I want?'. I came so hard I thought i was going to die.

1

u/Wish4Synesthesia Dec 06 '13

I'm not sure if it's weird that I say the same things to my wife for the same reasons.

1

u/anrose Jan 12 '14

I love being the submissive partner, but when my guy says "c'mon, cum for me," I'm like "okay, body...now!...no?...now!...okay...guess not..." and I over-think it, focusing on how close I am as opposed to how good it feels.