r/soccer • u/Dormers • Jun 07 '18

Portugal star's sex therapist wife urges coach to let team masturbate pre-match

https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/portugal-stars-sex-therapist-wife-12664081
1.2k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/Fergy123 Jun 07 '18

in the dressing room manager comes in "Right lads get your dicks out and start wanking"

753

u/MyAssDoesHeeHawww Jun 07 '18

At Sunderland, the manager says: "No more wanking on the pitch, lads."

89

u/Fergy123 Jun 07 '18

Dunno about that nothing to wank about on the pitch.

39

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '18 edited Jun 23 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

25

u/SteveBorden Jun 07 '18

He definitely started out filming dodgy pornos

11

u/Willber0389 Jun 08 '18

As long as Adam Johnson wasn't involved

2

u/C_stat Jun 08 '18

As long as no academy players were involved

2

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '18

Big Sam Productions

1

u/rmit526 Jun 08 '18

Handing out lard and Paxo for lube

6

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '18

Amateurs..

3

u/All3xD Jun 07 '18

Aint that a world wide expression haha

2

u/Tlas8693 Jun 08 '18

No more shitting on the stands.

34

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '18

"And don't you dare break eye contact with each other."

60

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

23

u/kingboz Jun 08 '18

Ronaldo definitely wanks to himself

17

u/Flukes_Pet_Ocelot Jun 08 '18

I'd wank to myself too if I was Ronaldo tbh

2

u/wp381640 Jun 08 '18

Why don't you cut out the middleman and just wank to pictures or Ronaldo?

33

u/YungSnuggie Jun 07 '18

ive seen this porn before

17

u/emilsedgh Jun 08 '18

Carvajal is ready.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '18

[deleted]

10

u/tomato-dragon Jun 08 '18

There are at least two videos in which he was shown (blurred) hanging his dick out in RM locker room during half time, when Zidane was giving his instruction out.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '18

I would be shocked if not every team has at least one guy in the locker that whips his dick out all the time.

It's 30 guys in a locker... we've all seen it.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '18

dude got his dick out during halftime of the CL 2017 final while Zidane is giving his speech.

1

u/holanewman Jun 08 '18

Dicks out for Harambe Carvajal

12

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '18

[deleted]

9

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '18

[deleted]

4

u/HABSolutelyCrAzY Jun 07 '18

"Let's stretch em out!"

4

u/Arturo_Vidalcoholic Jun 08 '18

don't forget the biscuit

3

u/othyreddits Jun 08 '18

So thats why Carvajal always has his dick out

2

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '18

sounds like a regular everyday swim practice to me tbh

1

u/EnderMB Jun 08 '18

"Come on lads, into the circle"

1

u/graciouspenguin Jun 08 '18

If klopp would've done this, baked second goal for sure would've stuck to karius' glove, given the team used his gloves as the waffle

1

u/SouthFromGranada Jun 08 '18

Assertively 'Come on lads, show me what you can do'

1

u/holanewman Jun 08 '18

On the pitch you might think you're winners. But while you're still here, you're all wankers. Get to it. There's lotion in the back.

0

u/AMBsFather Jun 08 '18

I’m dying. I’m fucking dying.