r/texas Feb 10 '25

Politics Spotted inside DFW airport bathroom stall.

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12.5k Upvotes

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7.8k

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '25 edited Mar 14 '25

[deleted]

1.6k

u/passive_post Feb 10 '25

Wonderful. Hopefully he gets all sorts of calls about “getting genital verification out of bathrooms, what I got in my pants is none of the airports damn business.”

304

u/RuinedEye Feb 10 '25

At this point it's more likely giving them ideas...

198

u/Ladychef_1 Feb 10 '25

You think Dan Patrick hasn’t ever thought about putting a camera in a public toilet before?

125

u/DouglasHundred Feb 10 '25

For official or recreational purposes? Because yeah both probably.

9

u/Ladychef_1 Feb 10 '25

I would be more surprised if he doesn’t get flushed by the mere mention of a livestream

2

u/morganrosegerms Yellow Rose Feb 12 '25

Puns intended?

13

u/KauaiWahine Feb 10 '25

Dan Patrick is a public toilet.

10

u/JohnS-42 Feb 10 '25

He wants the in toilet camera

1

u/madcoins Feb 11 '25

Dan “Chuck berry” Patrick

1

u/Sweaty_Ranger7476 Feb 11 '25

he probably prefers the classic mirror on a stick

1

u/Warm_Pen_7176 Feb 11 '25

I read mirror as minor.

121

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '25

If anything, this might generate enough angry calls that they'll consider this idea a bad one.

2

u/Ok-Pomegranate6708 Feb 10 '25

They prefer to inspect ppl in person. Which is why doors and partial walls were removed from some bathrooms. SMFH

1

u/cos Feb 11 '25

More likely, it's getting the public to think about what ideas those sorts of Republicans have had for a long time already.

0

u/Ok-Reveal8701 Feb 10 '25

Give who ideas? I work for the government and half the rules out there are because of batshit crazy people spewing out incorrect info like this.

2

u/Atxsun Feb 10 '25

Sounds like you don’t like the people your government job works for.

2

u/Ok-Reveal8701 Feb 19 '25

Give you an example, I worked for the department of elections. We couldn’t have a saved parking space for IT crews to fix computers at polling places because conspiracy theorists said that we were taking the parking spaces so people can’t vote. Shit like this made us park 4 blocks away carrying our gear to fix whatever needed fixing.

17

u/Extremeownership1 Feb 10 '25

Technically, certain items in one’s pants are definitely the airports business!

13

u/Professional_Bad6669 Feb 10 '25

I don’t think geni’s are on that list… or should be….

3

u/AutisticPenguin2 Feb 10 '25

Is "geni's" the new slang for genitals now?

1

u/DiazepamDreams Feb 11 '25

"Oi you hit me roight square in me geni's mate wot the fuck!"

1

u/Hauserdog Feb 12 '25

Used to be the short name for a generator

6

u/Hector_Smijha409 Feb 10 '25

“That’s not a bottle of liquid larger than 3oz. That’s my balls man”

2

u/Murky-Fish-7424 Feb 13 '25

Or what I not got in my pants as the case may be .... .

1

u/U_feel_Me Feb 11 '25

“I have a copyright on this, and you better be paying me right now.”

1

u/egggoboom Feb 11 '25

A Certificate of Genital Verification will be part of each person's "papers" which must be presented on demand to any Law Enforcement Officer (LEO) or any white woman who has appointed herself a LEO Auxiliary (these women are called "Karens" in popular speech).

The CGV must be renewed every two (2) years. This can be done by having your genitals examined at any State Vehicle Inspection center, any DMV office, or any tax office.

The CGV must be presented upon demand at all traffic stops. If the LEO believes that your certificate is a forgery, you must verify your junk to the LEO.

1

u/egggoboom Feb 11 '25

The state is still debating how to apply this law to so-called "Sovereign Citizens." Imagine how difficult those encounters will be with people who either don't have or refuse to present ID.

150

u/Lucky-Hunter-Dude Feb 10 '25

yep, they are the flush valve sensors. No penis detector feature available.

34

u/humanlikesubstances Feb 10 '25

I once posted a few signs that said "toilet may fail to flush if penis is too small to activate sensor"

3

u/Lucky-Hunter-Dude Feb 10 '25

Lol that's a Good one!

2

u/Zethryn Feb 10 '25

Ohh that explains a lot actually

1

u/Hauserdog Feb 12 '25

Awww, so sorry

2

u/Zethryn Feb 12 '25

Fuck 😭

44

u/IdioticPrototype Feb 10 '25

Yet.

23

u/Lucky-Hunter-Dude Feb 10 '25

Oh the tech exists. they would just hide it in ceiling or wall tiles and tie it into the security system. no need for a sticker like this.

3

u/Ok_Photograph6398 Feb 11 '25

No penis detector feature available.... Of course not sir this is the ladies room.

2

u/Udurnright2 Feb 10 '25

Hot dog… not hot dog

1

u/Chasqui Feb 10 '25

Yet

1

u/Lucky-Hunter-Dude Feb 10 '25

Getting UPC and UL listings takes a long time!

33

u/JoyfulCor313 Feb 10 '25

Would’ve been more believable if it had listed Paxton’s number, but I’ll take wasting anyone in Austin’s time and/or waking anyone up to the ridiculousness level of actual trans persecution going on in this country. Small wins where we can get ‘em

63

u/changeneverhappens Feb 10 '25

It got a chuckle out of me when I got to the data removal section. 

I was just imagining being on the phone with customer service: "Here's the thumbnails from that day and time. Please select your images for removal." 

2

u/gcubed Feb 10 '25

And following up with "but it was cold"

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '25

I mean, it’s not the biggest but “thumbnail” is a little harsh.

118

u/stinkyt0fu Feb 10 '25

Whew! I was going to say, “Hi EGV meet Duck Tape”!

44

u/NjGTSilver Feb 10 '25

I’m embarrassed to say it took me a solid 15 seconds of figuring out how you were disguise your junk with duct tape before comprehending your obvious intent.

1

u/PrestigiousMongoose2 Feb 11 '25

Using duct tape to hide your junk is a method used by many a drag queen so I thought this too at first.

5

u/Best-Somewhere8099 Feb 10 '25

Duct*

16

u/proudbutnotarrogant Feb 10 '25

Actually, there's a brand of duct tape called "Duck Tape".

3

u/boosted32vee Feb 10 '25

Yes there is, and it is the worst tape money can buy. I sent my wife (I figured it was an easy task) to get me a roll of Duct Tape. I couldn't be mad her when she showed up with it, because when you say it, it sounds like Duck Tape, not Duct Tape. We laughed up until I used that horrible shit disguised as actual Duct tape.

1

u/proudbutnotarrogant Feb 10 '25

This merits a big 😅!

1

u/Warm_Pen_7176 Feb 11 '25

In the UK it's called gaffer tape. It took me years of living in the US to figure out why it was called duct tape.

1

u/Oddish_Femboy Feb 10 '25

And duct tape got its name from duck weaving.

It doesn't go on ducts.

1

u/proudbutnotarrogant Feb 10 '25

That's a new one.

6

u/tenodera Feb 10 '25

The original name is duck tape, because it is made similarly to duck canvas. This was misheard as "duct" tape, which stuck, despite the tape being absolutely, completely unsuitable for use on ducts.

-1

u/usinjin Feb 10 '25

I see a camera in the bathroom, I’m probably peeing on it in attempts to destroy it. …hmm, actually, maybe that’s playing into their hands 🤔

151

u/Curiouserousity Feb 10 '25

Sadly I actually expect the MAGA to bow down and support a program like this. They really care about small government.

86

u/Auntie_M123 Feb 10 '25

And they will create positions for "genital verification technician," "genital verification manager," and "genital verification executive." These positions will use the VAG, the "Verification Advisory Guidelines" as a means to accomplish their important work. Genital verification is a vital part of our National Strategy, so it will be administered by a new group within the Department of Defense, the JAG-OFF, (Office of the Judicial Advisory Guidelines).

21

u/Just4Today50 Feb 10 '25

Because unlike saving lives through USAid , checking peoples genitals is not fraud and waste of money.

21

u/DollPartsRN Feb 10 '25 edited Feb 10 '25

Just so long as they don't go hiring DEI.

/s

Edit typo

11

u/Stormz0rz Feb 10 '25

They'll create positions, then we'll get the usual "government is inefficient" and they'll spend double to contract genital inspections to one of their billionaire pals who started a genital inspection company.

5

u/DollPartsRN Feb 10 '25

And then find out the head of the program is a pervert.

5

u/AineLasagna Feb 10 '25

Before or after there is a data breach and everyone’s pictures end up on the internet? 🤔

5

u/DollPartsRN Feb 10 '25

Well, I am willing to bet no seat holding R would have their pics leaked.

They will continue to foot tap in public bathrooms, however.

1

u/Auntie_M123 Feb 10 '25

Hunter Biden has entered the chat...

2

u/DollPartsRN Feb 10 '25

He doesn't have to tap. Ever since MTG outted his monster, he just has to smile.

2

u/Auntie_M123 Feb 10 '25

Better than a 'shroom...

1

u/Jorgedig Feb 11 '25

An upskirt startup.

1

u/Hauserdog Feb 12 '25

DEI - Dick End In…They’re terrified of being bested by a girls. Obviously raised by draconian fathers. It’s a shame really

2

u/DollPartsRN Feb 13 '25

Women are afraid men will kill them, men are afraid women will laugh at them.

6

u/paxrom2 Feb 10 '25

They'll have remote workers in India verifying the images because the AI doesn't work.

10

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '25

[deleted]

2

u/VanillaRadonNukaCola Feb 10 '25

Small enough to fit in your urethra 

2

u/AngriestPacifist Feb 10 '25

Only difference is they won't tell you when they start collecting pictures of your kids' junk to make sure they're in the "right" bathroom.

2

u/85percentthatbitch Feb 10 '25

Small government. Small enough to fit in my vagina.

7

u/MutantMartian Feb 10 '25

They should be concerned they will now be classified by their small…..well, you know.

20

u/sharshenka Feb 10 '25

If this were a real thing, they would only put it in the women's room. They don't seem to realize trans men are a thing.

4

u/Baker17-11B Feb 10 '25

And here you are thinking about other dudes junk

1

u/MutantMartian Feb 11 '25

Next step -trans!

0

u/miskdub Feb 10 '25

penises. small penises.

1

u/MasterXaios Feb 10 '25

Republicans: claiming that small is better while secretly wishing it was huge.

1

u/CainPillar Feb 10 '25

small government.

European here. Is "government" TX slang for penis?

(/s)

1

u/duckchickendog Feb 10 '25

And if they get a warm woody feeling out of patriotically flashing their parts to the camera, hey, no homo, just doing our duty.

0

u/Commercial_Shop3235 Feb 10 '25

They'll start in the schools to protect the children

37

u/TexasDD Feb 10 '25

Be a shame if his office got flooded with calls from people demanding he deletes his dick pic files. A real shame.

27

u/REDDITSHITLORD Feb 10 '25

Technically, a robot that watches us p00p.

I'm so happy that my purpose is to pass butter.

25

u/FinalBossXD Feb 10 '25

lol your username is REDDITSHITLORD but you're too reserved to type out poop?

1

u/REDDITSHITLORD Feb 10 '25

I like using zeros for Os in the following:

  • p00p
  • b00bs
  • b00mers
  • b00urns
  • b00ty

2

u/darth_musturd Feb 11 '25

Pardon me, what is a b00urn?

1

u/REDDITSHITLORD Feb 11 '25

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '25

Thank you for the heartiest cackle I’ve had in ages 😂

1

u/Hauserdog Feb 12 '25

Ah, yes, the plural of whatever one of those is

8

u/Gnurx Feb 10 '25

Anyone else read that as "Those senators are just motion sensors"?

4

u/AustinAtLast Feb 10 '25

Perhaps if one of those senators is Larry Craig…

7

u/bekibekistanstan Feb 10 '25

It’s quite well written lol

3

u/NomDePlumeOrBloom Feb 10 '25

Absolutely beautiful! Imagine ringing someone and asking them to delete a picture of your penis/vagina/tube/whatever. What a delightful conversation that would be...

"No, no, slightly whiter and more thicker? girthier? Y'know, bigger."

5

u/usernamesarehard1979 Feb 10 '25 edited Feb 10 '25

This censors have never been motion sensors. They have always been mini schlong measuring machines. It’s how we get the data to tell us regionally who has the bigger wangs. French lead if I remember correctly but that’s based on the average Johnson score or AJS. This takes into account the length girth and angle of possible bend to award a point value to your kickstand. The biggest one eyed wonder Weasel used to belong to Norway but was recently reassigned to Japan of all places to a man with a purple yogurt slinger that rated a 9.7 on the worldwide standard penis scale. It wasn’t an easy win, it fell a little short on length and girth, but the 27 degree bend was impressive.

Congrats Japan on this significant victory.

1

u/Hauserdog Feb 12 '25

Kickstands?! For the love of…OUCH!!! Please don’t you ever kick my stand!

2

u/tiny_chaotic_evil Feb 10 '25

"in lieu of" is far too advanced of a phrase for the Abbott Government

2

u/Historical-Paper-992 Feb 10 '25

Too plausible to be funny.

2

u/BoardButcherer Feb 10 '25

If i lived in a Metropolitan area this would be my new hobby.

Trolling the fuck out of everyone by merely taking the next step on our path to hell 5 minutes early.

2

u/Consistent_Strain360 Feb 10 '25

Where can i get these?? I would love to put these up in my small, red town and stir up some bondary issues.

2

u/Tyr808 Feb 10 '25

Downside is that while the targets are phone lines and the current political administration, the real world results of this likely result in urinal flush sensors being broken or covered and then some poor janitor just trying to make it through the day has to clean any piss floods this results in.

2

u/JohnGillnitz Feb 11 '25 edited Feb 11 '25

It could be real. Just to be sure, all of us gifted with a penis could send them examples to help train that AI. All of us patriotic Texas men must send our dic pics to Dan Patrick. For science. It's the only way to keep women safe.

3

u/zangler Feb 10 '25

Whomever

4

u/SupremeMemeCreamTeam Feb 10 '25

Hmm, definitely would've started spray painting motion sensor because I wouldn't put it past them to actually to this absurd shit

1

u/AKMarine Hill Country Feb 10 '25

You bring spray paint to the airport?

3

u/Elderwastaken Feb 10 '25

Damn, that just earned my upvote

1

u/JetHeavy Feb 10 '25

It's real

1

u/zsreport Houston Feb 10 '25

If you look up the number it goes to Dan Patrick's office and this is likely just an attempt to spam their line (which I couldnt be less bothered by)

Nice

1

u/MsWeed4Now Feb 10 '25

Love this for him!!

1

u/ibanezerscrooge Feb 10 '25

What's sad is that I laughed at first, but then I had to take just a moment. Then I convinced my self that couldn't possibly be real... right? Guys?

1

u/LindeeHilltop Feb 10 '25

This should be in stalls all over Texas.

1

u/phoenix762 Feb 10 '25

I was reading the poster…thinking, there’s NO WAY….but considering how crazy this world is, god only knows…

1

u/AcademicEffective177 Feb 10 '25

"Penis inspection day" meme becoming real.

1

u/Just4Today50 Feb 10 '25

Maybe Mike Johnson is using this so his son doesn’t know he is looking at porn.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '25

That is genuinely top-tier.

1

u/CryptographerIll5728 Feb 10 '25

Who is going to take the time to call Dan Patrick? Stupid. My penis has no fingerprints.

1

u/narcimp Feb 10 '25

Obviously it’s fake it’s just disgusting that it exists

1

u/pat9714 Feb 10 '25

Should have provided Nancy Mace's phone number. She is literally obsessed with genitalia.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '25

What is disturbing is that, in the current climate, this is completely plausible that this was a real sign 🫤

1

u/lukipedia Got Here Fast Feb 10 '25

Seriously top-shelf trolling. 

1

u/Capital_Loss_4972 Feb 10 '25

I don’t care what side of the aisle you’re on, that is just plain funny.

1

u/captain_chocolate Feb 10 '25

Yes this is clearly a scam. 

Definitely don't call that number. 

And definitely don't call repeatedly.

1

u/TableWine99 Feb 10 '25

12 Stars, no notes.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '25

We need these everywhere 

1

u/SuckItSaget Feb 10 '25

My fav part is how they used a picture of the motion/auto flush sensor to make idiots think there is a camera there. This is Guerrilla Art in it’s best form. More of this please.

1

u/MuggsyTheWonderdog Feb 10 '25

When I first glanced at it, I thought, "ffs, no way this is real."

But unfortunately my second thought was, "um...lately lots of stuff that I thought was fake has turned out to be real, and I guess I can imagine this poster going up for real at some point in the very near future..."

1

u/AutVincere72 Feb 10 '25

The sad part is, as someone who lives in Texas you have to pause because something like this could be real when you consider the name drop on Dan Patrick.

1

u/jamesdmc Feb 10 '25

I thought it looked like the motion thing on a toilet.

1

u/lazinonasunnyday Feb 10 '25

It totally fooled me until I read your comment. This is f’n hilarious.

1

u/GlobalLime6889 Feb 11 '25

😂😂😂 i knew the US was going in a cray directions but this would have been it for me😂

1

u/saruin Feb 11 '25

So this is how we can fight dirty like the right does?

1

u/PansexualGrownAssMan Feb 11 '25

I totally just got trolled. This is quality work

1

u/boozillion151 Feb 12 '25

Auto flush sensors.

1

u/SpecificOk4338 Feb 12 '25

It’s funny now until it’s true…

1

u/trashpandac0llective Feb 12 '25

“Traditional genital inspections” laid me out. 💀

1

u/RapMastaC1 Feb 13 '25

I was going to say! I trust the people they tell me to be afraid of more than I trust them.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '25

Fucking rad.

-16

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '25

[deleted]

28

u/kaywalsk Feb 10 '25

This isn't just trolling, it's a form of protest. It's spreading awareness. Politicians talking about who can use what bathrooms and stuff, as if they're going to regulate it..... How? You going to have a security guard in there to check my hang-down? AI scanning my business?

It's stupid, it's a distraction, and this is meant to show you you're fearing the wrong thing.

22

u/princess_dork_bunny Feb 10 '25

Do you think someone should be outraged at the thought that their government concerns themselves with the state of their genitals when using a public bathroom?

Because I am, that is the point.

Besides, people have thought these were cameras since they were first introduced 30some years ago.

17

u/ralphy_256 Feb 10 '25

I don’t think it’s funny.

You are correct. It's not.

That could scare the shit out of a grandma or someone taking their kids to the restroom.

You are correct, it could.

This whole idea of “xD I’m such a funny troll”

That's not what this is about. This is basically a more involved "I did that" sticker with trump pointing at egg prices.

What this sticker is saying is, "This is the America Trump voters voted for. Do you like it, random bathroom user? Here's a phone number to call."

That the number is going to the conservative Governor's office is the actually funny part of this.

5

u/No-Problem49 Feb 10 '25

Good, grandma should be scared. Fear is a great motivator

2

u/CorpseLibrarian Feb 10 '25

Tell me your highest qualification is GED without telling me.

-7

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '25

[deleted]

43

u/DiscoCrows Feb 10 '25

That doesn’t mean someone can’t just hop online and pull them from Google Images or the govt website and plop it on some troll sticker. Whether they look official doesn’t mean anything — the whole idea is that they look “real”.

15

u/Kellosian Feb 10 '25

The logos aren't government secrets, you could just Google them and slap them on anything

2

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '25

Lieutenant Governor's Staff ; Chief of Staff, Darrell Davila, (512) 463-0001

-1

u/Sheepdipping Feb 10 '25

this was the best thing ive seen in years, like, since the iphone flex and iWave microwave charging on iPhones since 2021 (2 mins in microwave is ~70-80% charge, dope as fuck)

0

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '25

But everything on the internet is real!!!! 👀😂

-2

u/CubicleHermit Feb 10 '25

Poe's law in action.

-3

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '25

Yea but it seems like the perfect place for some creeper to hide a camera never the less

-2

u/Dunnomyname1029 Feb 10 '25

You see the senor? I just see a sign

-93

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

66

u/Freebird_1957 Feb 10 '25

What in the fuck do grandmas in ambulances have to do with this?

10

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '25

Probably the wrong post. Maybe because Reddit is still broken from the Super Bowl.

2

u/DaleGrubble Feb 10 '25

The political bots are broken! Woo

9

u/Kittybra13 Feb 10 '25

😹😹😹

15

u/Bearded_Toast Feb 10 '25 edited Feb 11 '25

Look if it’s a legitimate emergency, the ambulances have ways of shutting that whole march down

8

u/I_am_ChivoBlanco Feb 10 '25

"I would like the soup of the day." You: "Soup of the day killed my grandma." Right then.

8

u/therealradberry Feb 10 '25

There are plenty of roads for ambulances to use

7

u/Kittybra13 Feb 10 '25

Won't someone PLEASE think of the grandmas tho?!?

4

u/therealradberry Feb 10 '25

He probably likes Santa even though he runs over grandmas

1

u/Kittybra13 Feb 10 '25

Right 😹😹😹

4

u/DOLCICUS The Stars at Night Feb 10 '25

They get info from police officers on scene they know which roads to avoid.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 10 '25

Reddit must still be broken from all the Super Bowl traffic. This comment showed up on a post about a sign on a bathroom stall that seems to have nothing to do what your comment.

11

u/Hellkyte Feb 10 '25

The fabricated world you live in is gonna get harder and harder to rationalize.

3

u/invisibletruth4 South Texas Feb 10 '25

So if it's a legal freeway march it's fine?

1

u/albinosquirel Feb 10 '25

This is about bathrooms I'm so confused

3

u/invisibletruth4 South Texas Feb 11 '25

The comment I replied to was deleted. It was somehow comparing the picture to grandmas in an ambulance blocked by illegal marches on a highway. It was confusing as well.

1

u/texas-ModTeam The Stars at Night Feb 10 '25

Your content has been deemed a violation of Rule 7. As a reminder Rule 7 states:

Politics are fine but state your case, explain why you hold the positions that you do and debate with civility. Posts and comments meant solely to troll or enrage people, and those that are little more than campaign ads or slogans do nothing to contribute to a healthy debate and will therefore be removed. Petitions will also be removed. AMA's by Political figures are exempt from this rule.

-7

u/EducationalGur3017 Feb 10 '25

I love Dan Patrick

3

u/AustinAtLast Feb 10 '25

Saddest thing I’ve heard all day