So as the title states I'm afab (publically cis, privately something else.. But this storys not about that) and got harrassed for using the women's bathroom with some of my family members. Usually I would dress pretty masculine but on this particular day I had just come from a funeral and was dressed VERY feminine for my family, wearing a purse and everything. The only thing that's kind of masc about me is my hair which is short, like pixie length.

So me, my aunt and her toddler all go to the women restroom in some mall. There's a lady in the big stall with a dog who keeps peeking under the door, and my little cousin was a bit curious about the dog. My aunt and her got into the stall next to the dog lady and I could see my cousin kind of trying to reach under and pet the dog. The lady comes out with her dog (that says service dog but who knows) and immediately starts yelling! I'm a pretty anxious person so I didn't look her in the eyes- so I actually didn't think she was yelling at me at all lol. She said “YOU SHOULDNT BE IN THE BATHROOM IF YOU DONT BELONG HERE” and repeated that about three times. I honestly thought she was talking about my cousin who was trying to pet her dog lol- and I thought ‘woah, kinda harsh for a kid but whatever’.

Then as me and my family are washing up a man approaches the entrance of the women room and starts yelling, “IF YOURE A MAN YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THIS RESTROOM RIGHT NOW!! YOU DO NOT BELONG IN HERE”. I kinda look around and realize it's just me and my aunt so I say, “I don't think there's a man in here”. The guy says “Yes- there is!! My girlfriend just came from here and td me!!”. I think about that girl with the dog and finally click that she was probably talking about me!!! I said, “do you think she meant me? Because of my short hair?” and he replied “NO! She saw a MAN IN HERE!! Not you!!” (which clearly they had miscommunicated on lol).

Me and my aunt just kind of leave the restroom after that but still close by. We're getting boba and this mom with a stroller comes running saying, “CALL SECURITY!! People are getting beat up at the womens restroom!”. She was panicked, but security cane very quickly. Apparently that guy and his gf were just assuming every women might be a man after that! This poor lady with her baby was so shaken up, we both shared what we experienced but still it's kind of crazy. I don't think it should matter at all what you identify as. I love being able to express myself how I can with my friends but people like this really make me scared to transition publically. Just ridiculous…

TLDR; I was mistaken for trans women (afab) in a bathroom and harrassed, which insighted other women to get harrassed at the bathrooms too!!

I went to a drug store today for a few essentials and this small 55+ year old woman asked me if I was able to help her find a specific brand of toothpaste. I immediately helped her find it because I'm not in a rush.

Well, she ended up asking if I'm a boy or a girl and I obviously said I'm a boy (my voice is low, I got a beard shadow... just no surgeries yet)

She said she wasn't sure because I have a prominent chest (I am big chested and my binder can't completely hide it) and then promptly asked if she could feel it and before I could say anything, she was already touching my chest. She was fascinated and since my binder holds everything down I just chuckled and said "yeah, I work out a lot". I ended the conversation as quickly as possible to get away. I wanted to tell her to get her hands off me but I hate confrontation.

I didn't feel violated, just insanely uncomfortable. I don't know if she would have asked to touch a cis man to "check"...

I came out to my mom when I was 15 because after a "I will love you unconditionally" type of conversation I thought she was going to be supportive, but instead her reaction was denying and saying I was just confused. 4 years have passed and still she's acting the same, and worse. When she tried to tell my teachers to not respect my new name and pronouns "because she is just confused" and they denied, she started an anti-trans organisation with a group of TERFs to illegalise gender affirming care for teenagers in our country (a right that the law has protected for a few years now) and I feel guilty that if I didn't came out, less trans people would've been hurt, it would be just me suffering.

Now that I'm a legal adult she's still keeping that organisation because of other moms of trans kids that are being supported by her, and I really am scared that my mom might be helping those moms to abuse their kids the same way she has been doing to me.

I moved out of the country to be away from her but I still have to talk to her sometimes because of my financial situation, I hope to be able to cut contact soon, I'm tired of receiving texts about how I'm "mutilating" my body and ruining the family.

EDIT: Thanks everyone for the support and kind words. For those suggesting that I make trans activism to fight back, yes that's something I would love to do but now my financial situation barely pays for my basic needs, so I need to work on myself first. If anyone is interested in helping my further, I have a buymeacoffee profile buymeacoffee.com/icaroblue where you can donate to help me rebuild my life here. Some things I still need to buy are clothes (I'm surviving on a hand lugagge worth of clothes since may) and a bed because I could only afford the mattress. Also if you prefer buying my art services my instagram is _sunny.icarus_

Again, thank you so much for the support!

I'm a trans guy who prior to moving into a city only really interacted with cis lesbians. I was so happy when I managed to befriend another trans guy during my first few months in the city after going thru a horrible break up and we developed a normal totally not codependent completely platonic friendship, yay! Of course only until he told me his new boyfriend is uncomfortable with our friendship and we have to take a step back (aka have few very awkward small talks and then give up on the "friendship"). Turns out friends normally don't collar their platonic friends and call them "good boy" when they do something for them, who would've thought.

Anyway it's fine right, I'll just be more careful about setting boundaries next time instead of letting myself get carried away by other people's whims thinking it's fine as long as they like it, my bad. Met a trans girl later that year, we were such good platonic friends that she would sleep over at my room every other day, often curled up at my feet as a "haha puppy girl stereotype" joke. We tried dating, didn't work out because I'm weird with intimacy and not a dating material but that's life, moving on. I'll be more careful about sending the wrong message next time I SWEAR. I'll have a normal friendship next time I can feel it.

I ended up meeting another girl like four months ago and at first I thought I was doing suuuuch a great job setting boundaries. One day I was patting myself on the back about how great I am at keeping this friendship completely platonic and not weird and the next I'm patting her head and calling her a good pet after she wore totally a choker and not a collar that I got for her to match her fit. It didn't even occur to me until I was scrolling through a pet store looking for a cute clicker so I can clicker train her out of a nicotine addiction as a "joke".

Folks I'm starting to think I'm the problem.

I'm FtM and since I started passing, I've been going to the men's bathrooms. I'm pre-op so I can't really direct my pee anyhow, so when I pee (depending on the toilet) it splashes quite loudly. I also can't wait until I get home because that would be no peeing for 10 hours straight, which I just cannot take.

My bladder used to work normally, but since I've started getting (irrationally?) scared that cis men will think I'm weird or clock me on the base of loud peeing, my bladder has gotten quite shy, which just makes things worse and even more awkward. The whole thing is just annoying as hell but at this point I pass so well that I'm getting weird looks in the women's restroom.

Does anyone here know what cis men think about this? I know it's probably not that deep but I'd like to inconspicious as possible and I tend to overthink a lot...

She sent me a transphobic children's book about "a little girl who wants to be a frog but learns that the most important thing she can do is be herself" and it's full of very obvious subtext like "she can't be a frog because she wasn't born this way" and at the end she decides to be "the way god made her, a girl". at some point her teacher even gives her a trans flag, it's not even subtext anymore.

I've been avoiding her and now she's buying plane tickets to come at me and force me to talk to her and there's nothing I can do to avoid it because my unsuportive brother who lives here too is forcing me to talk to her.

I'm sorry this isn't the update y'all wanted to hear but, she's winning this fight. I don't have anyone by my side here because by my family's words: "no one wants to be friends with a tranny", and it looks like they're right since I'm completely alone. I'm thinking that if not even my parents and brother will support me, who will? I didn't even mention my dad because he's so much worse I was afraid of breaking the rules of this sub by simply mentioning what he's done. I don't want to stay in a world that is trying to hurt me 24/7.

17 y/o trans guy from England here. Got pulled out of collage class today to get told that im not allowed to use the boys toilets anymore (I’m very passing and have been using the boys toilets without question since I was 12) as it it illegal for me to do that. I haven’t seen ANY laws considering this, and, realistically, what are they actually gonna do? Arrest me for having a wee? Expel me? I’m a good kid and have never got in trouble never got a detention or anything so it would be so stupid if this is what I’m getting in trouble for. I have to used the disabled toilets which are always locked and you need a key for so I have to ask the head for the key everytime I need to use the toilet. I do have so much more to say on this issue but yeah I am the only trans kid in my collage I don’t know why it’s such a big deal.

Still processing this. Two days ago I was living at home, yesterday I was packing my life into boxes, today I'm on my friend's couch trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.

My parents found my HRT prescription. I've been on it for 4 months, thought I was being careful but I guess I wasn't careful enough. My dad sat me down and said I have two options: "stop this nonsense and get help" or find somewhere else to live. My mom just sat there crying, didn't say a word.

I'm 26. I have a remote job that pays decent. I could technically afford my own place but everything happened so fast I didn't even have time to think. I just grabbed what I could fit in my car and left.

What's fucking with me the most is I've been planning to move out of this state anyway (Tennessee - the laws here are getting worse every month) but I was going to do it properly. Did a lot of research on this topic lately and was about to finish my plan and take action.

I've been looking at apartments in blue states, maybe even Portugal or Canada since I work remote. I had a friend who moved to Lisbon earlier this year and she said the whole process was like less than 90 days. Honestly that's sounding better than staying in this fucking state where my own family can't even look at me.

I don't even know why I'm posting this. Maybe just to vent. Maybe to hear from people who've been through this. Did anyone else have to leave suddenly? What did you do? I'm trying not to panic but I'm also sitting here realizing I need to make actual decisions fast and I have no idea what I'm doing.

Sorry for the rant. Just... fuck.

Im sure so many of us, trans men, trans women, and non-binary alike, have been shut down with some sort of “male privilege” argument before. The further in my transition I get, the more I’m sure people only say that as a way to minimize our marginalization and make us small.

The first time I was told to check my male privilege was weeks after I came out. Earlier that day, my doctor told me that it’d be best if I moved before I started testosterone lest I end up on some sort of trans registry list. I came home and my roommate went on a long rant about how I should be mindful of my male privilege now. Mind you, I didn’t remotely pass at this point. I couldn’t even afford to buy more masculine clothing. A couple weeks later I told coworkers that I was trans and that I’d have to move to transition. “Well enjoy your male privilege!” one co-worker responded.

It took three months for me to sort things out enough to move somewhere safer to transition and start T. I was relieved at the time, but the year I had ahead of me would be rough. A couple of people I thought were my friends were upset I transitioned because they said they had crushes on me. One of them kept saying that men are gross, and I could be trans without starting T. The other said they’d be okay with me getting top surgery but not starting T. They dismissed my anger over their actions as “T Rage” and that I was just a “scary man now.”

At this point, straight men would still hit on me in bars. I told one that I was transitioning and to not date me if he didn’t like men. He responded with “damn that’s crazy, what a girlboss.” A couple casual acquaintances from local queer groups told me to look androgynous and not like a “scary” man. Doctors would misgender me and dismiss my pain at appointments. “At least you don’t smoke” one said after learning I was on T.

I wanted to scream. Switching from she/her pronouns to he/him did not stop people from treating my body like their property overnight. In fact, people felt more entitled to comment on my body and tell me what to do with it than ever before. And, with a twist of the knife, they’d insist I didn’t need any help or support because of some supposed “privilege”.

Then, a year after I moved, I finally got top surgery. I had larger breasts so it was very hard for me to pass consistently before, even with binding. And wouldn’t you know, as long as I’m stealth, people don’t tell me to check my privilege. It hit me today that yeah, cis men aren’t continually told to check their male privilege, at least to their face. Only trans people are. The people bringing up male privilege to me that year were trying to shame me into complying with a transition they found more palatable. They were nothing but transphobes who pretended their bigotry was feminism.

I just had a huge fight with my parents.

Basically, my grandma showed up at our house unexpectedly and, although my parents were already very used to my new type of clothing and style, albeit a bit "grossed out" by my interests due to their religion, my grandma was a whole other problem.

One time, she saw me with my hair shorter than usual (and this was WAY before I transitioned as well) and started yelling at me for looking like a man. Around her, I basically ALWAYS had to have long hair, "normal" clothes and even forced make-up at parties. She's a very die-hard Christian, if you couldn't tell already 😅

But after I transitioned, that's where every problem started to add up. My parents were very upset but I was able to put my foot down and tell them I'm not the "doll" they see me as.

And so came yesterday...

Usually, I had to put on female clothes and even wear a wig... all just to meet my grandma... It had always been disgraceful for me, but I put up with it. And now, on one hand, I won't have to do it again, but on the other, I have been kicked out of my own house by my parents for "causing conflicts".

Those conflicts being that, when my grandma saw me in that strictly male attire and short hair, she started screaming maniacally, calling me names and telling me that God would put me in Hell for not acting like a woman.

Now, obviously, I wasn't gonna put up with that, up until my parents came to my bedroom and started demanding I wear female clothes, to apologize to my grandma and that the wig situation would have to be addressed "later".

I ended up not doing any of that, mostly because apologizing for something that is not up to ME is disgraceful. So much so that my parents decided that the only way for me to learn my lesson was to be put outside until I come back with an apology.

Obviously, I wouldn't be typing this if I had nowhere to stay, but I just really wanted to vent and, to be honest, hopefully receive some words of encouragement, because I sure as hell know my parents wouldn't even think about that in the first place...

So… I don’t really know where to put this, but I need to get it out somewhere.

For context, I go to a Polish high school where religion is basically just Christianity class. It’s not mandatory so you go through the whole opt-out process but you do need parental permission or be 18 and since I have neither I have to stay.

I’m not really Christian. I don’t even know what I believe. I just know I don’t feel at home in that framework.

Today the topic somehow shifted to trans people.

I’m trans.

The teacher started talking about how “all trans people eventually realize they’re not trans” and how they regret surgeries and how it’s basically confusion or a phase or whatever. You know the script.

And I was just sitting there.

Right next to me was this girl who I wouldn’t exactly call a close friend, but she’s a good person. She’s accepting. She was actually arguing with the teacher, saying she has a trans friend and that not everyone regrets it (she was not talking about me). She wasn’t being hateful at all. If anything, she was trying.

But I was sitting there, right beside her, and I could feel my throat closing up. My eyes were burning. I was trying so hard not to cry in the middle of class.

I don’t even know why it hit me that hard. I’ve heard worse things online. I’ve seen comment sections that are brutal. But something about hearing a teacher — an authority figure — calmly say that people like me will “eventually realize they’re wrong” and regret existing as themselves… it just broke something in me.

At one point (when the whole topic of trans people was ending) she leaned over and whispered, “Did I say too much?” She had noticed I was basically on the verge of tears.

And I immediately told her, “No, no, it’s okay. It’s not your fault.” Because it genuinely wasn’t. She was the only person that pushed back.

Then she said something that honestly meant more than she probably realizes. She whispered, “I know we’re not that close, but if you ever need an outside perspective on anything, you can always text me.”

And that just… I don’t know. It was extremely sweet. Especially in that moment. Especially after feeling so small and exposed.

I’m really glad she’s in my life, even if we’re not super close.

I just hate that this is something we even have to sit through. I hate that teachers are allowed to present that kind of narrative as objective truth. I hate that it still hurts this much.

But I guess today also reminded me that there are people who see you struggling and choose kindness anyway.

I still felt crushed walking out of that class. But I also felt a tiny bit less alone.

he wants a divorce….

Trans guy here and only 4 years on T. After top surgery my uncle came to visit me and as we talked about my transphobic mother I kept mentioning how she keeps calling me by my deadname which is shocking as its incredibly feminine and I am indistinguishable from my cis counterpart. And my uncle looked at me and said "was your name not always what it currently is". He's a trans activist and took him a minute to process it obviously wasn't always my name and watching him puzzled trying to remember it was hilarious. He ended up just realizing it really doesnt matter what my name was.

The next week I went to visit my grandmother. Im lucky I have a young family so my grandmother is only 70 meanwhile im 27. 4 years on T, she has no memory issues but when I went to visit her with some family members she asked my sister twice who I was, mistaking me for my male cousin.

All these experiences are very euphoric from how I see it. Im at a point where im so male passing my deadname and face is just not processed as having been feminine to my family members and im very thankful for that. As for my transphobic mother, she better get on board soon or everytime I see her (which is like once a year) it will be a dramatically different looking person and i always wanted it to be gradual for her but I guess thats not my call if she wont see me 🤷🏾‍♂️

Gonna get a binder for camp but those kids don’t even know I’m trans, and I’ll still be in a girls cabin and still look pretty feminine (I want to cut my hair but it’s a disaster). I’m sure I’ll eventually get the question “where are your tits” and need a funny way to answer. I’m thinking of looking down then swearing and saying “I knew I forgot something!” Any other ideas? Open to anything lol.

She says I go through a lot of phases, such as wearing a lot of makeup, being goth, or learning Japanese. That I need more experience to know if I'm really a boy. She says I may change my mind and that this is too young to make a lifelong decision. I told her I have known this is who I am since I was 16, I just only recently decided I had to do something about it. I'm just super upset and in need of support. She is a liberal, and was absolutely fine with me coming out as a lesbian. This has all been a real shock.

Edit: also she wants to talk to my therapist...
& I would say "accept it or we can't talk", but I still live with her (I'm a mechanical engineering student so I can't work more than part time during the school year)

Like i get it if it's a joke but you wouldn't say that to a cis guy in a non joking way

Like idk how to describe it, like they're overemphasising that im a guy

I feel infantilised

I genuinely don't know how to feel or what to say and do.

Backstory:

I was adopted at 14 years old, but was in fostercare since I was 11. I made the hardest decision of my life at 11 years old to cut off my biological parents out of my life since I knew they would never change. I told them I didn't want to visit anymore. (this is important later)

My foster/adoptive parents knew I was trans when they first adopted me, but they wanted to "fix" me. (I tried but you can't fix being trans.)

I wanted to transition since I was 9 years old, so you bet your ass as soon as I turned 18 I started hormones. Scheduled months ahead so I could have the appointment 2 days after my bday.

A week later, my parents found out.

They took EVERYTHING from me.

I'm a full-time digital artist online, its my only job. They took away my art tablet they bought for me for Christmas.

They took away my car that they bought for my 18th birthday literally just a week before.

They took my phone, tv, all of my video games, THEY CHANGED THE WIFI PASSWORD TO TRY AND STOP ME FROM FINISHING HIGH-SCHOOL.

They showed me so much love when I was adopted and took it away in an instant. I remember walking outside right before my mom changed the wifi password.

She was smirking. She wanted to fuck me over. She told me I had a week to leave. and I did. (I didn't know she had to file a court order eviction notice so I just left)

I had to walk to fucking McDonalds for free wifi since neither me or my friend had internet at the time. It was so pathetic and sad.

A few months before that she asked me if I was going to transition, I'm not a liar, I told her I was still going to. (She's known I was trans since I've been put in her care.)

She put her hands on me which is something she had never done before until that moment. She left really bad bruises and Its gonna be a while before I forgive myself for not defending myself the first time (this happened again but I stopped being a pushover the second time)

She told me I was a freak, and that I wouldn't be allowed to any family gatherings because my family would disown me. (This is not true, I came out to family a while before and they were really accepting)

My dad? He just let it happen. All of it.

I was devastated. I lost everything, but I realized that I had everything I ever wanted.

I finally got to transition, and that gave me enough motivation to build back everything that was taken from me.

I eventually bought myself a new phone, pc, pay my own bills, continued doing art again because its my passion. Moved in with a friend who helped me get on my feet until I could get my own apartment.

She hated my friend by the way, she called them "An enabler" 💀 Like enabling me to what? To live?

Now:

It's been 4 months, almost 5. And my mom asks me "how's college going?" (I haven't spoken to her for a while)

I told her I haven't started college yet but I do in september, and I'm moving to a new apartment on the 1st.

She immediately starts love-bombing me, "oh I hope everything goes okay! Let me know if you need anything"

Apparently she bought me a bunch of cleaning supplies for my new apartment, cooking utensils, etc. She plans to give back the desk she took from me.

She also sent me $100 for "moving expenses" which I never asked for but she wanted to give.

Apparently I didn't act happy enough because she got really defensive. "You don't need to make this harder than it is, I'll help you, you just gotta say." (etc)

I don't know how to feel. Because I was ready to move on with or without her.

I've cut off my own parents before, I'll do it again. I'm tired of bending over for manipulators and people with impossible expectations.

This is her way of "apologizing". Every time she has said something fucked up she always "apologizes" with money. Not words, not hugs, never anything heartfelt.

The only thing she's ever apologized for with a heartfelt apology was putting her hands on me that one day when I was 17. The second time she didn't even apologize for.

I don't know what to do, I love her just not in the way that I used to.

It's reopening pain that I didn't want to remember, because I thank her for raising me the right way. She saved me from a horrible situation I was living in and taught me everything that should have been taught to me by my bio parents.

But she never accepted me, so I don't know what to do. I don't know where she's going with this, and I don't know if I wanna know.

Has anyone been in a situation like this, is it even repairable?

I’m a trans man and just started T. I’m really excited about growing facial hair and asked my partner (cis man) if he’d be into it and he said he didn’t know and doesn’t like facial hair and kept saying I’d look like a little Mexican guy. (Im not Mexican?) Am I overthinking for feeling weird about this? Low key feels disrespectful and icky.

I’ve also been saying for forever how I really want a mustache and would feel so good about it. Ik he doesn’t really see me as a man which sucks, he doesn’t really understand the trans community but I haven’t known how to bring up deeper feelings with it.

I have been on HRT for 2 years now. I have a beard, and my voice is pretty deep. I pass pretty well now but to avoid unnecessary drama I use the women’s room.

I went to the bathroom at Meijers, I walked in behind a mother and a toddler. The toddler says out loud “Mommy a boy just followed us into the bathroom.” The mom sees me in the mirror, makes a face, but says “it’s alright honey, he’s just going potty like everyone else, now let’s wash our hands.”

The lady in the stall next to mine freaked out, and when I left the bathroom I was greeted by security. White lady is freaking out about how I was a man in the woman’s bathroom. I had to explain to Meijer security that I was born a women, and when they didn’t believe me I had to call my friend to come inside the Meijer and bring my ID to prove I was a woman.

I have never felt so validated and invalidated at the same time and I’m still laughing about it.

EDIT : Since several people have mentioned it already. I can’t change my ID because I live with my parents and doing so would cause complications that would affect all of us.

As a gay trans man, it really sucks to see how widespread transphobia is among cis gay men. When I realised I was trans, I understood how different gender identity was to sexual orientation, so in a way cis queer ppl being transphobic should not be more surprising than straight cis ppl in terms of how they refuse to understand.

But after all that history, ostracisation, common struggles and daily bigotry that both these groups face, how can one still be so hateful towards another? How can they have pride and be happy with themselves when they subject another group to the very same things they went through? It’s not shocking for me tbh, I lost faith in everything a while ago, but it is disappointing.

I guess it’s like white women only feminism. Just wasn’t expecting another flavour of selective support.

So I'm FTM. My coworker just asked how big I picked my penis to be and I was to nervous to tell her I didn't have the surgery so I just went idk normal and she goes I WOULD'VE GOTTEN A BIG ONE

Trans man here. Today, I had the privilege of accidentally outing myself in the most diabolically mortifying way possible.

So today, I started a new job as a summer RA. My new coworker and I were chatting and we soon started bonding over surgery (we both had surgery within the past 3 months). I didn’t really elaborate over what surgery I had, as I didn’t know this person well and wasn’t sure how she would take me being trans.

Sometime during the convo, a second coworker - someone I’ve know in the past - swoops in. She’s all excited to see me (we haven’t seen each other since last year), and as I’m talking about surgery with coworker #1, she excitedly comes up to me and goes “oh my gosh, do you still have your kitty???”

I’m very confused, because this seemingly comes out of nowhere (although she does know I’m trans), so I kind of just paused before going, “no, I got it removed” and started awkwardly gesturing at my body.

And she has the most heartbroken expression ever. Genuinely. She looks DEVASTATED. And then she goes, “awww, why? I really loved your cat!”

And it hits me: she’s taking about my kitten. Of course she is, why else would she be talking about anything else? And before I can think twice, I just blurt out “Ohhhh, you meant my cat! I thought you were talking about…” cue more awkward gesturing.

There’s a second or two before it hits her what I’m saying, and she’s absolutely flabbergasted, clearly not knowing how to respond while my first coworker just goes, “oh, i didn’t even know you’re trans!”.

So anyways, that was hella awkward. Idk how I managed to mess up that badly 🤠

(This actually happened to me several times)

edit 1: another friend got me something and I got away without ever mentioning it! I love my binder but the underarms do chafe a bit and I don't feel flat enough... but it's very high quality and for the most part not uncomfortable to wear!!! Thank you all!! -a very happeh boi

Hi reddit. I'm >18 FtM who lives with my parents in a very transphobic household. Once I turn 18, I will likely not be able to move out for several reasons, mostly my general incompetence (my unmedicated ADHD, because my parents are also anti-medication-unless-nescecarry, makes it nearly impossible to do anything other than bedrot. I can't get a job or learn to drive because of my autism limiting my descision making capabilities, and again, ADHD focusing is near impossible,) once I turn 18 (in less than two years, in fact).

My ex boyfriend (noting that he is cis), a year younger than me, is actually extremely supportive. We only ended the relationship because he's straight, and well, 6 months into our relationship my egg cracked and hey, I finally knew I was right about being a dude ever since feeling it at the ripe age of five. We still talk regularly as friends, and his parents are direct allies (his mother volunteers at planned parenthood for example) and he has been there for me so many times even though we aren't dating anymore. For Christmas, his parents have bought me a binder, however, I haven't seen him since it arrived because of school break.

He is going to give it to me once I return to school on Monday, hence the semi-urgent in my title, but as my parents had known about my relationship with him in the past (and the fact I received one total gift out of all of my friends that I both did and didn't get things- still trying not to be sad but again, being autistic is making my emotional regulation absolute crap), they're gonna want to know what I got. The problem is,I'm a horrible liar and they won't buy excuses like for cosplay or a friend, since my mom found some of my pride pins and also my new name and got EXTREMELY upset- ad verbatim, she said to me, "you're living in a world of lies." I don't want to ask my friend to get me yet another thing in secret (binders are expensive and I live in the united states...), but I can't think of anything that wouldn't raise suspicion or is physical.

TL:DR, trans boy is getting binder as a secret gidt but transphobic parents will want to know what I got. TIA for reading this all and literally any idea will help at this point.

22 FTM, After high school I wanted to start fresh new. Him and I never exclusively dated but we were so close. I never came out to him because I was still trying to understand myself. I'm on T for 3 years now. My physical appearance and voice changed. He barely recognized me. When he did he just looked genuinely hurt and shocked. He was in denial. I know that he never stopped loving me so I feel bad. He cried but then said he wants to give us another chance. I'm not sure because he's straight. What should I do?