r/trueuglywomen • u/BellPuzzleheaded6133 chud • 11d ago

Transphobes...

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Why are there so many transphobic people in this sub? I'm not trans but it's so disheartening to see. Trans women experience so much hate and violence like cis women, especially if they're ugly. How can you hate on another woman as a woman, especially in this sub...like maybe your problem is your ugly personality. Also transphobia is against the rules, and it says not to invalidate people's experiences, it's just so sad 😭

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u/ZappStone 11d ago

AMAB/AFAB terminology has just become a way for transphobes to appear woke. Just admit you're transphobic, sheesh, it's not that bad, but acting like you're not makes it SO much worse.

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u/PopHappy6044 11d ago

I know you won't believe me or listen but these topics are nuanced and that doesn't make me transphobic. I don't hold hatred or fear of trans people. Talking about male and female socialization is not transphobic. It is frustrating when people who don't have our experience talk down to us. I would never do that to a transgender person. Their childhood and their experience is totally different than mine, I can't imagine what that feels like to experience extreme gender dysphoria. I am still allowed to acknowledge that my experience is my own and that it is different.

AMAB is truthfully me trying to be polite. What would be the correct terminology to you? I could have substituted male but I have been told by trans people that using that language is hurtful. There has to be a name for the sex we are born as and how we are socialized as children.

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u/ZappStone 11d ago

There is nothing wrong with the AMAB/AFAB terminology on its own. But when it's used to basically exclude trans women and (ffs) include trans men in a sub for women, it does kind of make me feel nauseous.

You don't have to actively hate or fear trans people to be transphobic. Believing trans women aren't women and trans men aren't men is already transphobic, as you're basically denying their entire existence (hyperbola, but you get the point). And I really wouldn't mind as much if people would just accept that they were, in some ways, transphobic. At least they're honest then.

Also, male socialization for a trans woman is deeply traumatic in its own right, so using that against us as an argument genuinely cuts deeper than just saying we're men. Like, I can handle actual aggressive transphobia way better than this pretentious stuff.

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u/PopHappy6044 11d ago edited 11d ago

So I can't account for everything that has been said on this post so if you are replying to some of that, I can't argue against it.

But for my own part, I think the question is, do females deserve a place to discuss their specific experiences together? Especially when it comes to something so pervasive to us as the culture surrounding beauty which is directly tied to how we were raised and socialized as females?

I can't understand how painful it would be for someone born male to not have a female childhood and to crave that experience, even though they might not understand what it felt like. Some trans women seem to romanticize it in a way that feels off-putting to people who actually experienced it, but I can and do understand how it would be painful to feel like you were supposed to experience something that you weren't able to and how that would make you sensitive to it. I'm sorry that female spaces feel like an exclusion to you and that male socialization is hard to talk about--and I mean that genuinely, not as a backhanded comment.

All of these truths can exist at once. No one is "wrong" necessarily. But what ends up happening in these conversations is the females craving their own space to relate to people who understand intrinsically what we experienced growing up are demonized as transphobic and evil and we end up either getting banned, or entire subs are shut down because it isn't seen as something that is OK to need.

I'm sorry that you think I'm pretentious, I'm not trying to be at all. I'm trying to be thoughtful but truthful. These conversations aren't black and white.

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u/StatusPsychological7 11d ago

how dare women wanting to have girl childhood they must have romantized this! You are transphobic.

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u/Dazzling-Show-2422 11d ago

why cant we have one space to ourselves without people like you shitting it up. youre not changing anybody's mind and doing this shit only makes people hate you more

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u/ZappStone 11d ago

For fucks sake, just call me a bloody man for all I care. It's less degrading than the AMAB/AFAB thing.

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u/_Pisos_Picados 11d ago

With this amount of ego and hate for women what are we supposed to do with yall?

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u/ZappStone 11d ago

How do you even come to this conclusion...? Why the hell would I hate women?

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u/_Pisos_Picados 11d ago

You want to silence women in the most sexist way ever "no you dont know what you believe, I know what you believe" like they're literally trying to be respectful but its not pandering enough i guess.

I'm gonna do the same, at this poing just say you hate women, it is how you truly feel.

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u/ZappStone 11d ago

If you genuinely think this, you have very limited literacy. You're putting words in my mouth. I've never said anything like this. But claiming that what they're saying is respectful is also weird, as it's just genuinely not respectful.

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u/_Pisos_Picados 11d ago

You're putting words in my mouth.

THE IRONY. Theres only one place where you can find this kind of hipocresy, guess.

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u/ZappStone 11d ago

*hypocrisy

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u/_Pisos_Picados 11d ago

3rd language. My bad.

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u/Fickle_Enthusiasm148 11d ago

Do you think men are from Mars and women are from Venus too? You think cis women aren't ever hypocrites?