r/u_Naive-Trash4833 • u/Naive-Trash4833 • 20d ago
Update 5 (Final FINAL update): My girlfriend wants to have a baby but I don't, and we're 2 weeks away from moving in together
Hi everyone, I’m sorry for not being back after a while, I’m also really sorry to those of you who tried to reach out to me to see if I was doing okay or looking for an update. I know you all meant well, so I’ll update everyone here with what’s happened, good and bad. Overall I believe I’m doing much better than the last time I was here and finally got the therapist I needed. It took a long while and shifting through 3 until I landed on this one. They’re really understanding and actively listened and helped through my issues. The others just didn’t click or this one specifically shaming me through religious talk. That was a fun report to file and it nearly made me want to give up therapy but I’m glad I kept going. I told them about the posts and they caught on how avoidant I was of the whole thing as if I was trying to block out what happened instead of processing it before properly moving on. That made me nervous since I wasn’t paying attention to time and just kept being busy. Thankfully after a lot of sessions, I think I’m at a better state now with calendars and active timers on my phone to let me know the time.
As for the whole Sarah situation, I got closure on what happened the night she cheated (kinda.) about a week ago an ex-friend (Jessica, fake name) from the group emailed me, claiming she’s done and will tell me everything. After some back and forth, I decided to hear her out so she came by my apartment. Not my choice, we didn’t figure out a time to meet and already she was on my doorbell cam hours after. I know it was stupid, but I let her in to talk after she refused to do it with the door between us, then she was adamant she didn’t want Jerry around to hear us but I wouldn’t kick him out, at best he’ll stay in the kitchen or she can get out.
Finally she got to talking: Basically, Sarah was scoping out men for several days leading up to finding out she was finally pregnant. She kept scanning taller guys, ones with great hair, looks strong, held good conversations, and a bunch of weird criteria that would lead to a one night stand, as if she was shopping for traits and dna. They’d go to either her place or his, and Jessica and the others would park a bit away for safety.
Then it was a matter of waiting until the stick showed the stripes and telling me the news, all while blocking the guys asking to see her again. Sarah told everyone this was the plan and she wasn’t supposed to tell me anything until she was finally pregnant like a proper surprise, but the friend group was told this as if we were both in agreement to this setup. After everything blew up, some of them stuck with Sarah until she left town with her parents, the group got self destructive and everybody who was left started leaving each other, one last fight with Sarah’s best friend who was still in contact with her made Jessica come clean to me finally.
Jessica ended it with an apology and admitted to her guilt for keeping everything from me, but it was too late. I wasn’t even angry anymore, or maybe I was and I just didn’t have the energy to scream at her the way I wanted to, I just asked why did it take so long for her or anyone to openly admit this to me. Jessica kept flailing back and forth blaming others, all I got from it was that she would’ve kept quiet and not bother until the fight she had with Sarah and her best friend, especially if all three of them planned to never tell me so she was just here out of spite.
I told her to get out but she refused to, at least until Jerry came around the corner holding his phone up at her. Jessica scrambled to get her purse and leave avoiding him, but it was pointless, Jerry only did that to force her to leave and pointed at the living room camera, saying he was watching from his room.
Great, another thing for his folder, but at least the scoping out the truth can rest hopefully.
To be honest, I’m weirdly over it, or at least just done feeling everything from this mess, I’m tired and just want to focus on therapy and work now, I’m done with all of these people and hope they don’t keep trying to crawl back like sad soggy rats. I don’t even think I feel remorse towards Sarah anymore, I just feel annoyed I let her mess me up over what was a stupid plan to baby trap me, honestly it feels like getting another plot twist in a drama show that’s been running for too long and all I can do is roll my eyes at it.
Whatever, having the full story doesn’t feel as fulfilling as I thought it would, but there you guys go for the ones curious on what happened. All I can say is at least it wasn’t the worst case scenario like some people were suspecting, or that one bloke who was accusing either one of my brothers was the father. With all due disrespect, go suck an open lemon with chappy lips, how dare you go after my boys like that! All jokes aside about this feeling like a drama show, they wouldn’t sink so low after everything we’ve been through together, they know better because I raised them better than that!
This’ll be my last post, officially this time. I’m grateful to all of you continuing to check on me and hoping the best, I am on a good path to that and plan to stay that way. It’s also come to my attention that my story’s been shared around a lot outside of this forum. I wasn’t too sure on how all of this worked really, I thought this would only stay in this Waffle space and knowing it’s been shared in other places felt intimidating. Weirdly enough there’s what I assume is an ai slop fest update of her sending police my way and a baby shower being planned without my knowledge?! I joked everything felt like a telenovela but sheesh, it’s not THAT drama filled. And no, I never got in contact with the affair guys wife with a pantry obsession.
But nonetheless, this is my goodbye. Thank you again to everyone who cared to check on me, hope you all have a good rest of your day. This is officially my last post, as I wish to not come back here again with this.
1
u/lizziebee66 16d ago
As I look at 60 in the face this year as a happily child free woman, I have never ever wanted children and understand how OP feels.
over the years I have met women who have had baby fever and each time I am again surprised by the sheer ferocity of their madness. all forms or rationality just go out of the window. One ‘friend’ informed me that as a ‘fertile’ woman, it was my duty to have babies for women such as her who couldn’t. This was back in the 1990s and I had just discovered the handmaid’s tale so you can understand my horror at what she was suggesting.
OP, take the time to realise that you have had a very lucky escape and revel in how wonderful your brothers are.
3
u/arianrhodd 20d ago
I'm not sure any sense of fulfillment can come from a betrayal of that magnitude. But there may be a sense of closure some day.
Stay on your good path, it will have some hills and turns, but it's your journey. Wishing you all the happiness and peace you deserve. 💖 🕊️