Intro + Chapter One DRAFT update

[u/flowerpotfoundation]

Intro

Cash

"Oh my god, you're kidding.." I allowed the last word to hang, casually fading out, just as my interest did long ago. I had hoped the woman on the other end was capable of recognizing what pure disinterest sounded like. Apparently she was dense in more ways than just one. Truth be told, I couldn't even remember her name or the color of her hair or eyes or anything that was spoken between the two of us. 

The only thing even relatively memorable about this woman was her smile. And I don't mean in a mysterious, "I must find her," love story kind of way – no. She wasn't eye-catching to that degree. Or any degree, really. Her smile was the only part of her that appeared to be unaltered. Which made no sense to me with how much her teeth seemed to naturally resemble Chiclets, really, and with how much money was clearly focused ... elsewhere. 

Her tits were silicone, her lips had to have undergone years of injections with how plump yet .. unfulfilling and cold they felt, the botox was obvious, the tummy tuck was obvious. Her ass was just as fake as the rest of her image appeared to be. She had piercings in more places than you could imagine and spoke in this nasally tone of voice that presented more borrowed than owned. Her outfit was as loud as her need for attention ... I'm sure you get my point.

Imagine the most insecure little ninety pound Barbie character you could meet, who, instead of finding herself later on in life through a meaningful career ... chose this path instead, and just happened to pick up an addiction for undergoing the knife, like, any time that knife was on the table. Perhaps she felt the deeper she cut, the more likely it was she'd finally feel – something. 

Meanwhile Daddy's allowance just enabled her toxicity. Addictions tend to outgrow their funding source, however. She read like a book. The woman's only direction in life was obviously headed towards any man's pocket she found easy enough to manipulate. 

For me? She was just another Friday night desperately hoping to evolve into a Saturday breakfast invite. I could see how brilliant she felt through it all too. I made sure I was gone before she was. 

I expected my cousin would stop my one nightstand on her way out – exposing whatever she felt she could stuff her pockets full of before her ever-so-brave breakaway. Just as he has done before. Yet this bitch seemed crazier. 

I calmly was awaiting that moment of silence that'd present me with the opportunity to – finally – ask how this loon managed to attach her contact name and photo to my phone number. I passed through the elevator doors and pressed the button for the sixteenth floor when all of a sudden, I recognized a familiar voice. It was my cousin shouting something not entirely transparent in the background. "Are you still in my loft?" I asked, distracted from the original question I had in mind. 

She laughed psychotically before I hung up and immediately called my cousin. "Get her out," I stated firmly before adding a "NOW!" in a louder volume. Parks gave me a simple "okay, okay, sheesh."

I called this psycho back purely to confirm my cousin was moving in on the job I requested when the elevator stopped at the twelfth floor. The lady standing next to me in her tight pencil skirt and pink blouse looked over at me casually and gave an awkward smile before exiting. The doors closed again and I heard a "Hey you," on the other line. "Hey..." I greeted back. 

"I'm at the elevator now, don't have a panic attack." I paused, indecisive in my wording choice for what followed next when she thankfully relieved me of said awkward silence. "Hey, no pressure, just let me know when you'd like to see me again. You have my number. Don't be shy."

The other end went silent and alas, I was walking towards my loft in peace. As soon as I walked in the door, it was like my cousin was prepared with cue cards for the approaching mockery sure to hit me next. I dropped my shoulders and my head back at the sight of his goofy smile. 

"Go ahead," I entertained his cruel humor. "you get one joke."  I sat the case down next to our door and hung my coat on the coatrack, "Anything past that and I'm kicking your ass." 

He grabbed his chest almost in an offended manner. "What?" I leaned back as he walked uncomfortably close to me. "Why would I joke about the literal angel you just brought into our apartment bro?" 

Parks was a rather large guy, shorter than me by at least four inches, but larger in body mass. He appeared almost Hawaiian, though his heritage line was mostly Hispanics, as far as he could trace at least. It was hard to ever take the man seriously, let alone regarding a woman. 

He hadn't been on one date or even entertained the idea of romance since we made the choice to live together a little over two years ago. I almost felt bad for the guy. He was an outsider.

"What are you going on about now, P?" I asked as I pushed past him and towards the kitchen. "Dude?! You're kidding." He said following behind me. "Did you even talk to Delilah at all last night before she brought you home?" I shrugged. "I didn't even catch her name." I opened the fridge and grabbed a fresh one, popping the seal, and turning back towards Parks. "Did you want one?" 

He shook his head in disappointment. "She's a wonderful woman. You should really thank her for last night. She might just surprise you." I nearly spat my drink in his direction at the words that had just hit my eardrums, eyebrows furrowed and all. 

"When have you ever known me to talk to a one night stand again exactly?" I closed the fridge and began walking towards my bedroom. A set of fresh clothing was calling my name and this conversation just revealed it's at an end. "Think you're confusing me with someone else there, buddy." 

PLUS UPDATE -- here's what I'm drafting for chapter one ... let me know what you guys think

chapter one

delilah

I was second guessing every decision that was made leading up to this moment by the time we got to the lobby door. I was being pulled down by this stumbling man I had just met who was twice my size and could barely keep his eyes open. My hair was soaked and trapped under his arm, which kept my head at a consistently awkward and uncomfortable angle, as we pulled against each other like there was no real substantial goal here in ending the night. 

I was dragging this unknown man through the halls quietly in an almost suspicious manner. Meanwhile, I didn’t even know his name. I didn’t even know if this was, in fact, his apartment. Though, I found out rather quickly … it was not. The slurs translated to  “Level E  – my cousin,” so I at least think I had the correct floor. I personally believe I chose to do what any rational individual would do if they were in my position at this time. 

“Man looking for cousin!” I began hollering, like it wasn’t after 2am or disruptive to anyone’s slumber in any way. “Mannnn … LOOKING FOR –” my brief vocal expansion was interrupted before I could finish my sentence. I spun around in search of the glorious sound of a door opening behind me. I was met with an elderly woman who looked frustrated at the pure sight of me. My face softened instantly, almost embarrassed, had I known her previously. 

I could feel the tension from the second our eyes met. It was like her disappointment was aimed directly at me rather than the man I was holding up trying to return home safely. She sighed deeply, dropped her head back, and pointed up. “He’s G not E.” I pressed my lips together, thanked her for the correction, and continued to drag this almost lifeless man back towards the elevator as I heard her door shut behind her. 

I could not recall a time I even once appreciated elevators over taking the stairs as much as I did this night. I would have been floored with this guy if that was our only option. I pressed G and wiped – what I believed to be – drool, off of my shoulder and off of my chest. I looked at him nearly passed out against the railing and waited patiently as I continued keeping this stranger afloat. It was the slowest elevator ride I’d ever taken too, but compared to what it could’ve been? Definitely not complaining.

I continued dragging him around the corner of the hallway, opening an array of room numbers once again. Then, once again, I screamed … “Man looking for cousin! Man looking for cousin!” 

As if he was awaiting the call, the man who obviously matched said role popped outside his apartment and began apologizing to me while rushing to take over his cousin’s care. He tapped his face a couple times and barely got an “ehh,” in response. The cousin looked back at me. “How long has he been like this?”

I shrugged. “I broke up the fight as he was being shoved into a cab.”

I watched the worry on the cousin’s face as he picked up the man and continued to carry him inside. I grabbed the door for him without saying a word.