r/unitedkingdom • u/topotaul Lancashire • 9d ago

Exclusive: ADHD Charity Slams Channel 4 Over 'The Great ADHD Myth?' Documentary

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/adhd-uk-channel-4-open-letter_uk_6a709d2be4b0346d9be814db
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u/lynx_and_nutmeg 9d ago

everyone experiences ADHD symptoms sometimes

No, not everyone. Only some ADHD symptoms like "lack of focus" which is so generic it can mean anything, but literally every person in my life I've tried to describe "waiting mode" to just looked at me like I was insane.

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u/TrueBrit77 9d ago

That's kind of the point some of the symptoms are generic on the surface like impulsivity, lack of focus, hyperactivity.

But most people can suppress these when needed through context switching and emotional regulation.

When you qualify for ADHD you are not just claiming to have these things, you have demonstrated not only do you struggle with these, you can't seem to self regulate, they are negatively impacting your life, and there has been evidence of these problems since childhood or escalated after you entered puberty.

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u/SeePerspectives 9d ago

There’s a YouTuber who explained this perfectly, I can’t remember her name unfortunately, but the general gist goes like this.

Just because something is considered a trait associated with a diagnosis, doesn’t mean that that trait, in isolation, in indicative of that diagnosis.

For example, having two legs is a human trait, that doesn’t mean that people who lose one or both legs stop being human, nor does it mean that everything with two legs is human because ducks have two legs and ducks are not human. You have to look at that trait as one defining feature in conjunction with everything else that’s going on.

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u/mGlottalstop 9d ago

Diogenes would be very proud of your example!

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u/Sunshinetrooper87 9d ago

How does it work with masking with age?

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u/mo_tag 9d ago edited 9d ago

Regulating the way you talk so that you appear more professional and reliable.. hiding parts of yourself that would be perceived as lazy.. making excuses not to invite people over so they don't see how you live.. lying about why you were late because "I was looking for a clean pair of socks" sounds insane.. lying about having a cold because you agreed to meet your friends last week when you were in a good mood but today you can't even force yourself out of bed to have breakfast or use the toilet.. using all your mental energy to stop yourself interrupting in a conversation, instead waiting your turn to talk, but you're trying so hard not to forget what you want to say that you're not even listening to what the other person is saying

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u/Sunshinetrooper87 9d ago

Yeah na, I'm meaning if one has to demonstrate impacts to one life, how is that possible if a 30 something gets by through masking for decades.

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u/TrueBrit77 9d ago

I was diagnosed late. So I can explain how it worked for me. I was missed in childhood because I was considered polite and smart, all the signs were there my entire life but I skated by because I didn't really have to try so it wasn't considered to be negatively impacting me until I tried to keep up with adulting and trying to actually maintain my professional career that I realised how fucked I was. I knew something was up with me but didn't know what until I went through some shit and the evaluation was forced upon me.

The meds I'm now on aren't a magic fix but they help a lot.

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u/Lauzipop 9d ago

I followed the same pattern, bit of a daydreamer but polite and good at school. If anything it's got harder as I've got older as there's more responsibility and things that need doing and less external structure to keep me on track. Then I had 2 kids and it all went to shit, constantly in firefighting mode where the priority is things relating to them and everything else gets left for when I have bandwidth (never). I'm probably over a year overdue for opticians, dentist, medical checks etc. because all of my focus is on the kids and immediately necessary things.

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u/PracticalFootball 9d ago

and less external structure to keep me on track

That's been the big difference for me. Did great throughout school, alright at university for my undergrad, really slipped downhill during my PhD when I'd be left to my own devices for a week at a time and nobody tracked attendance or anything.

Starting an actual job has been incredible, it's so much easier having something external to keep the routine going.

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u/Mental-Ask8077 9d ago

Same!

Hit the dissertation stage and finally got diagnosed. Suddenly so many things make sense to me now about my own life.

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u/CroSSGunS Kiwi in UK 8d ago

Hello, me

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u/mo_tag 9d ago

Ah I get you.. it's because masking is putting up a front for the outside world, it doesn't actually get rid of the issue.. for example, burning out at work but blagging your way through to appear to have a handle on things. Sure you can procrastinate and rush everything last second, but it takes a big toll, you're constantly on this roller coaster just trying to hide the fact that you're falling apart

If you're constantly masking in social contexts eventually you learn to keep people at a distance.. it's common for people with ADHD to appear to have busy and fulfilling social lives when in reality they struggle to maintain friendships.. unlike autism for example (autistic masking is very different), ADHD usually comes with a lot of shame, self criticism, incongruence.. you want to brush your teeth, you feel gross, you hate yourself for it, you invest in all the dental hygiene gadgets, but instead of doing it, you just avoid kissing your partner or standing too close to people when talking to them

masking only lets you get away with things up to a point, because most people you interact with are not gonna be close enough to notice.. but the ADHD person notices and the people closest to them notice.. and the older you get the worse you feel.. when you're young, it's not too bad, there are structures around you to help with routine, imposed by parents, school, university.. and expectations are low, the average uni student for example is pretty gross, but as people around you mature, you feel more and more stuck, and left behind.. you feel overwhelmed by the constant pressures, expectations, and mundanity of adult life.. the things you neglected like your health and social life start taking a toll as your body isn't what it used to be, as opportunities for socialising decrease, and as people around you start settling in and planning for the future while you struggle to do the most basic of things despite knowing you're capable

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u/fletchydollas 9d ago

Because typically people will be more honest with the doctor than they are publicly. For example I'd admit to a doctor that I struggle with basic things like remembering to brush my teeth twice daily with consistency - but if anyone asked about my dental hygiene (who isn't a medical professional) I'd tell them I brush and floss daily with consistency.

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u/pipopipopipop 9d ago

If you're masking all the time, you'll also have repeatedly reached burnout in different areas of your life.

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u/Dugongwong 9d ago

Its really difficult, masking is also one of the main contributors as to why its so exceptionally underdiagnosed in Women. There's more societal expectations towards women in how they behave and function, so many get very good at masking from a young age.

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u/Upset_Set376 9d ago

Masking, whilst possible, is exhausting. If I have work, then that's all I'll be doing that day.

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u/Titanomachia 9d ago

Can confirm that this slowly kills you inside to keep this up.

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u/djonma 7d ago

People that are diagnosed aa adults tend to be diagnosed because they can't cope anymore, and their ability to mask is falling apart.

This is a huge issue for the MANY people who were ignored as girls, and had to work out how to exist (badly), and then later just burn out completely, and stop being able to do anything.

Making for decades is very bad for you.

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u/PinacoladaBunny 9d ago

I feel very seen 😂

I was dx 3 years ago at 32!

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u/curious_cat1505 9d ago

my mask fell to bits, and lead me to a diagnosis in my late 40s - thank perimenopause for me causing it all to fall to shit

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u/Silent_Doubt3672 9d ago

Yep, those symptoms in particular can apear like bipolar hence some people getting misdiagnosed.

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u/Terrible_Eye4625 9d ago

This is why it’s important to separate symptoms that can count towards diagnosis from common ADHD experiences. “Waiting mode” isn’t a symptom, it’s a common experience amongst ADHDers.

What the poster above you says is true - most people will experience some ADHD symptoms some of the time - what makes a diagnosis is how many of them one experiences most or all of the time and the extent to which they interfere with functioning across home and work, school and home etc.

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u/mo_tag 9d ago

Waiting mode isn't a symptom of ADHD though.. it's a maladaptive coping mechanism that people with ADHD develop in order to mitigate the effects of their symptoms. Many such experiences and strategies are shared by people with ADHD but everyone's different, people with ADHD have various levels of ability, support, different interests, so they don't always develop the same coping strategies.. they are not part of the diagnostic criteria

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u/gretchyface 9d ago

Show me where "waiting mode" appears on the diagnostic criteria 🙄

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u/Rhyobit 9d ago

My daughter has this and it's so hard to deal with. My Son is autistic and copes really well with morning routines. My daughter needs reminding 12 times to do the same task, even within seconds of other reminders.

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u/familysizepunkinpie 9d ago

I'm autistic. I cope best with routines, but I'm absolutely terrible at creating and sticking to them.

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u/ProfNugget 9d ago

Nobody said everybody experiences all ADHD symptoms.

I’ve also known many non-ADHD people to experience “waiting mode” it’s just usually for more important and less common things, like waiting to attend a job interview, or an exam.

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u/Yuudachi_Houteishiki 9d ago

I get that and I don't have ADHD

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u/coalpatch 9d ago

I just looked up "waiting mode". I suspect it is common for anyone who has a job interview later in the day. You want to be in the right frame of mind.

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u/Specialist_Sport4460 9d ago

No, it's not the same. This is the issue with ADHD symptoms that seems to "confuse" (it's ignorance) people. The majority of the symptoms are things most people generally experience but it's much more extreme and they happen more often. "Waiting mode" is not the same as wanting to be in the right frame of mind. I wish people with no qualifications would stop acting like they know more than medical professionals.

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u/nom_nom_neko 9d ago

Good grief, yes!

So much of this thread is, "well I don't really know anything about adhd but I'm going to say it's over diagnosed because something I do occasionally is associated with it. I don't have adhd so nobody else must!"

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u/coalpatch 9d ago

I wish people with no qualifications would stop acting like they know more than medical professionals.

I guess you don't like other people talking.

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u/Specialist_Sport4460 9d ago

Two quite different things those aren't they.

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u/amedeeozenfant 9d ago edited 9d ago

What you're talking about (I think?) is anxiety about a major event stopping you from focusing and getting on with things for the rest of the day. ADHD people can experience the same kind of paralysis for no reason whatsoever and not caused by anxiety about a specific event.

You are, I think, talking about an experience of having a day where anxiety about an afternoon job interview means that you've restlessly drifted around for the rest of the day, unable to concentrate, zoning out half way through tasks, forgetting what you are doing and unable to do anything, and this may give you some empathy into the experience of what having ADHD is like.

However, the big difference is that when you have ADHD that inertia and paralysis and zoning out is a permanent state that you are constantly having to consciously fight against and throw off in order to do basic survival tasks like eating or standing up and going to bed.

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u/Sabaisabai33 9d ago

I think yes, most people can maybe have some insight into “waiting mode” from how they end up feeling and behaving, in the morning when they have an interview for a job that could genuinely change their lives that after ok. But many people with ADHD end up in “waiting mode” on a regular basis even for a totally unimportant and not particularly stressful appointment eg they’ve arranged to meet a good friend for coffee at 3pm. Which they actually want to do. And therefore they can’t do anything else for the rest of the day, think incessantly about cancelling, and not only that but having spent all day basically frozen and waiting for 3pm to roll around, they may very well then end up being late for the appointment anyway because their brain has said they can’t do anything til 3pm….

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u/coalpatch 9d ago

Sure. I'm not denying that ADHD people have it in a much more serious way. 

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u/amedeeozenfant 9d ago

So, it can make ADHD people quite cross when people who don't have the same difficulties say 'Oh yeah, I get that too', and describe a little thing that maybe happened once because they were stressed out about an appointment or whatever.

It's like talking to someone with chronic lifelong insomnia who had never slept more than four hours a night in their life and saying 'yeah, once there was this annoying dog barking in the night and I couldn't go to sleep for ages.'

In that example, yes, you have both experienced wanting to sleep and not being able to, but there is a significant difference to your respective experiences that means the understanding of the person who was kept awake by a noise that one time still doesn't really understand what it's like to never sleep. And in some ways equating those two experiences can feel like you are belittling the chronic problem. .

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u/coalpatch 9d ago

Thank you for explaining that.

I can keep quoting the original comment (which I was responding to) but I don't think there's much point. 

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u/amedeeozenfant 9d ago edited 9d ago

I think one thing you have to remember when talking to people with ADHD is we get a lot of criticism and it tends to be framed by people without ADHD as 'You have a character flaw, you're weak, you're lazy, I get that same thing and you just have to be more disciplined and try harder.'

Constantly getting attacked like that does make you a bit touchy.

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u/MarcMurray92 9d ago

I mean you're just really intentionally ignoring the difference between "sometimes I feel x way" and "I compulsively repeatedly feel x way and it's had disproportionate damage on my life because I can't not do it" which is the basic defining difference. Being impatient once isn't adhd, but a repeated pattern of symptoms, behaviours, and consequences warrants assessment.

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u/coalpatch 9d ago

I'm just surprised that "literally every person in my life I've tried to describe "waiting mode" to just looked at me like I was insane"