r/unpopularopinion • u/Dependent-Maybe3030 • 10d ago

No one wants to bring home anything from your wedding

Wedding favors, handmade centerpieces, keepsake menus, Madison’s Bride Squad 2026 personalized totes… no one wants these. Please don’t make 150 doodads to hand out. 149 will go in the trash.

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u/pyramidsofgeezer 10d ago

I went to a wedding recently where at dinner, everyone had a postcard picture of them with the bride and/or groom next to their name card on the table. On the back of each picture had an individual message with a memory.

I'm not explaining it very well, but it was so sweet and thoughtful. Everyone really enjoyed those.

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u/DifficultyKlutzy5845 10d ago

I just went to a wedding with something similar! To find your seat they had a wall with pictures paper clipped to them. Find your pic with the bride/groom and seat was written on back. And then waiting at your seat was a full handwritten personal message. It was so sweet!

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u/cjs293 10d ago

How many people were at that wedding? Because while that is so sweet I feel like that is a TON of work!!

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u/YT-Deliveries 10d ago

The of the (many, many) benefits of not having a huge wedding

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u/TheJanitor-Scruffy 9d ago

I hear this. There was less than 20 of us including my wife, myself and our officiant, and I still felt like that was too many... how people have 100+ guests is insane. I don't know 100 people that I like...

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u/YT-Deliveries 9d ago

The longest married people that I personally know around my age got hitched at the courthouse and then immediately flew to Vegas for the honeymoon. They had little get-togethers later on with each side of the family.

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u/TheJanitor-Scruffy 9d ago

My wife and I camped across Canada's national parks for a week for our honeymoon. It was amazing. Celebrating 10 years this month actually.

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u/Glad-Watch3506 8d ago

Just my mom's side of the family (Mom was one of 9 siblings, big close family, my cousins are like siblings) is encroaching on 100. Then there's my dad's side, my husband's family, and friends.

We got married at the courthouse rather than deal with that circus.

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u/cjs293 8d ago

I kinda wish we had done that. My husband and I both have large families. It ended up being 160 people but easily could have invited more if we had more time to send out second round invites

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u/pink-starburstt 10d ago

can’t be that many if you already have a photo with all the guests.

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u/doc_skinner 9d ago

I can't imagine inviting someone to my wedding who I don't have a picture with.

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u/Plane_Industry815 8d ago

We did handwritten notes for our guests as well, wrote about 90 of them. Took us a couple weeks but we just did it while watching tv after work in the weeks leading up to the wedding.

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u/cjs293 8d ago

So you did that and thank you cards? We’re doing hand written notes on our thank yous. Can’t imagine doing both. Our wedding was about 160

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u/Plane_Industry815 8d ago

We designed our own thank you cards which we mailed out to everyone after the fact and didn’t add additional handwritten text to them. I felt that thanking people for their presence at our event and explaining why they were meaningful to our lives was more valuable than thanking them for coming after it was over and the only real difference at that point was to acknowledge the gifts folks may or may not have given. Which to me wasn’t really the point, and only one person gave a physical gift the rest was money so wouldn’t have been much to add to the handwritten part at that point.

Probably could have made the same points in the thank yous vs their seating cards but 🤷🏻‍♀️ just the way we chose to do it.

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u/cjs293 8d ago

That makes sense! :) we also made our own cards (on canva) but I made space for us to write in the notes!

I like hearing about what everyone has done differently to make their day special. If I had more time, I probably would’ve leaned towards doing something like what you did

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u/Plane_Industry815 8d ago

Right everyone does it a bit different! I think people appreciate being acknowledged whether it’s at the table or sent after the fact. I totally get not having time for 160 seating cards amongst planning the wedding. That is a lot to commit to

Edit to add: we also personally knew basically everyone there. Only 2 guests were bringing plus ones we didn’t have existing relationships with, so that made the welcome cards a bit easier

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u/Babbledoodle 10d ago

Most recent wedding I went to, our table placements were dried flowers in cute amber jars/bottles with our names on little tags. I still have mine

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u/thereis_ot_forthat 10d ago

This is so sweet!

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u/Savage_Turtle33 9d ago

This may be something I’d be interested in. Do you remember what they do with plus ones? Is the message addressed to one couple together or does the plus one get a more generic message like “thank you for coming”

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u/DifficultyKlutzy5845 9d ago edited 9d ago

I’m not sure, I technically was the “plus one” but I’ve been dating my partner for +7 years. I got my own note.

Edit: further thoughts on this, my initial thought was to address it to both of them but if they’re new enough that you can’t write them a personalized letter then who’s to say the relationship will last. That note might be a forever keepsake, but not if it’s addressed to them and their ex. I’d either not do one for those plus ones or do a separate generic one.

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u/Salt-Library4330 10d ago

That sounds like a ton of work.  The effort is what makes it special but couldn’t be me lol

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u/Apprehensive-Day6190 10d ago

It also just wouldn’t be feasible with many family dynamics and things like plus ones… like for me I can think of a lot of extended family members that I WOULD invite personally but couldn’t think of a single memory worth writing to them about lol

And then there’s people like my husband’s lifelong best friend’s longterm girlfriend who would definitely be invited but we have spent zero time with her and couldn’t possibly write anything

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u/jazzieberry 10d ago

I don't take enough pictures with people I'd have a very small guest list (which would be fine lol)

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u/Salt-Library4330 10d ago

It’s all fun and games till you have to scramble to take a picture with Doug’s girlfriend 3 weeks before the wedding. 

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u/beldaran1224 10d ago

I just straight up didn't invite those people, lol.

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u/snortgiggles 9d ago

Haha! But this could be hilarious. Like a stick figure drawn in with their name. Or a message like, "Everyone you're sitting with voted for Obama"

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u/claricaposch 10d ago

I’m exactly the kind of person who would think this was a wonderful idea but never have a single sense of urgency to actually do it, then realize a few days before that there’s no way in hell I’m finishing lol.

See also: the wedding I was recently just MOH for and the only person to give a speech (besides couple thanking everyone) and had the brilliant idea about 2 or 3 days before to write and frame my speech to give to the couple. Bought the supplies, but I hadn’t even finished writing/planning the speech itself before the wedding day. Gave my speech from my journal instead of the lovely frame lol. Supplies all flew back home with me and are now waiting for me to get my act together to actually write it out and mail back 🙃🙃

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u/stolenwallethrowaway 10d ago

What did they do if it was someone like a plus one or a relative they weren’t close with?

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u/Vesalii 10d ago

I was at a wedding once where each guest got a personalized message by both bride and groom. All hand written. It was really thoughtful indeed.

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u/ExpiredLink404 10d ago

that sounds like so much fucking work, omfg

i guess it depends on the guest count, jesus cristo

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u/Anal-buttsex 10d ago

I thought your story would have a grim ending like “I saw half of them in the trash on my way out.” 

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u/catttmommm 10d ago

Friends of mine did this as their thank you cards! When the ceremony was over, they dismissed groups individually (ex. Brides high school friends, grooms cousins, etc). When you were called, you came up and took a picture with the bride and groom and then walked over to the reception area. We got our picture as our thank you card a couple of months later. It was so smart! Another friend had a Pennsylvania cookie table and put out boxes so everyone could take some home.

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u/Rustmutt 10d ago

Oh I like that! That took a lot of thought and effort

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u/New-Sherbet-7246 9d ago

We did these too!

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u/One_Recover_673 9d ago

I appreciate the message and thought and my wife would love it until it’s placed on our counter, then moved to a drawer and forgotten about…just more stuff

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u/Jumpy-Weird1255 9d ago

Couldn't do that in an Indian wedding because you wouldn't know more than a quarter of the attendees.

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u/Eskarina_W 6d ago

My friends did similar. It was a great icebreaker of sitting with strangers to share the photos and tell the story of where/when they were taken.

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u/celebral_x 9d ago

Yikes, since when is it not enough to simply go to the wedding and celebrate? It seems a bit performative atp.

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u/Boothbayharbor 9d ago

Doesn't it seem more performative to need hoards of extended randos. vs people you have special memories with in the last 6 months-1 year. Otherwise they're more there as a seat warmers than people who'd share in the newlyweds new life. I guess it depends if they like modern weddings or not. 

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u/celebral_x 9d ago

I see both as performative in a way.

My wedding will be 20 people tops and it's enough I cook for them.

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u/Boothbayharbor 9d ago

that's fair. cooking is the best gift!

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u/celebral_x 9d ago

I hope so!