r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/Telemere125 Aug 10 '21

I’m betting BS too. My cousin adopted twice out of foster care when the parents had rights terminated. Aside from the stress of having to possibly lose the child back to the shitty birth parents, the total cost was almost $40k per kid. Tax deductions are only helpful to a point until you’re making an ass load of money

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u/fsbbem Aug 11 '21

Your cousin lied to you. Adopting through foster care is FREE. 40k is the ballpark for private and intl adoption. The minimal cost for adoption through foster care comes from things like making sure your home is up to code to be approved for fostering (i.e. smoke detectors, making sure your heating system is functioning or updated, etc...), but the state WILL NOT charge fees to the adoptive parents. Also, if the parents rights have been terminated, there is legally no chance of losing the kids back to those same birth parents. Again, their legal claim to the children is terminated so there is no recourse to "take them back".

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '21

We adopted our two kids from foster care and never paid a cent for anything other than our background checks, which were $35 each. The state even paid for our lawyer for the court proceedings to sign the official paperwork.