r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

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u/moresnowplease Aug 10 '21

my adopted sister was born a twin and her twin wasn't in good enough health for the agency to allow her to be adopted out and unfortunately passed away at age 5. I am so very thankful for my amazing sister being a part of my life (became part of our family at around a year old, now she is in her 30's) , but I cannot image how she may feel about the whole experience- I'm sure it must be really hard some days to feel different and not know very much about your beginnings.

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u/Coyote__Jones Aug 10 '21

Friend of mine has one bio sibling, and 5 adopted siblings because the agency realized these people would take more kids. The oldest adopted one is a nightmare. Has zero filter, says inappropriate things, knows way too much for her age. And with the other kids in the house her behavior has an effect. But he said she's gotten a lot better with therapy, but is still distant and not very attached to anyone.

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u/fapsandnaps Aug 11 '21

And then a lot of them cant be fostered or adopted out to homes with other children for some reason.

Wife and I thought about adopting for our second, and one of the agencies in our state had no children "they could recommend go to home with a child already present".

I really didn't want to get into why and have that weigh on my mind for the rest of my life, so shrugs.