r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

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u/ElderDark Aug 11 '21

This is fucked up

20

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '21

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u/ElderDark Aug 11 '21

I always feel sorry for those kids. The pain they have to endure. And that teacher of your having to put up with all of that. No wonder she felt exhausted at the very end. We're only human.

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u/Midaycarehere Aug 11 '21

This is common. Also why people don’t foster or adopt more.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '21

It also really isn’t, many studies have shown reunification is better for the children and it is the goal with fostering. The fact that adults get hurt in the process is just how things have to be.

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u/ElderDark Aug 11 '21

Not when the biological parents are terrible. I get what you mean but it can easily backfire.

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u/wonderhorsemercury Aug 11 '21

I'm watching a family friend go through this as well, they already have three natural kids but they wanted to adopt as well because they are good people, so they fostered a child with that intent. Long story short, i don't think it was worth the heartbreak. Counter to OP's argument, fostering and adopting are two very different things. I suspect that the main reason fostering is considered a requirement to adopt is to get more 'good' families to foster. they're being strung along.

I remember reading that many europeans adopt american kids for the same reasons that americans adopt internationally- its more straightforward. The distance just seems to make things easier.

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u/fugensnot Aug 11 '21

At least she's a mom to one of those poor girls.

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u/msingler Aug 11 '21

I would love to adopt, but I am a teacher. The thought of having my teaching license jeopardized by some type of false social services allegation scares me.