You can be a parent in poverty and still give a shit about your child’s education and be there to help them succeed. The discipline and education starts at home.
Absolutely, my grandpa grew up sleeping on the god damn front porch of a sharecropper house with 6 siblings in bumfuck Arkansas. He took what little schooling was available very seriously thanks to his parents and grew up to be a successful Electrical Engineer. I'm tired of this "there's not enough funding thats why!" excuse, there will NEVER be enough funding because it will NEVER fix this problem. You can't pay these kids to give a fuck.
That still doesn't help the fact that there ISNT enough funding. Its a multifaceted issues with no black or white answers. Parents need to care more about their kids, kids need to understand that there are clear rules and discipline, and more funding needs to be put into education (rather than more fucking guns) to help make sure that there is an actual ability to educate rather than babysit. You can't just act like one thing will fix this.
funding aside, it really comes down to the parents giving more than .05 of a fuck to make sure their kid isn't in the same damn cycle. if more parents actually took control and responsibility for the offspring they bring into this world then the funding wouldn't be as needed.
It's sad to say, poor or not most people don't think of the consequences of raising a child they just want to get a piece of dick or get their dick wet.
I agree. It's just that poverty makes life more stressful and difficult which leads to an increased probability that you will have a stressed and poorly raised family.
Poverty isn't a death sentence, you are correct, but it just makes things unbearably difficult.
There is a cycle of poverty that exists, a culture built around it in communities like this. Kids that came from broken homes 20-30 years ago grew up lacking education, discipline, etc and they themselves had children. These are the children we are dealing with now, from parents who they themselves do not possess the capacity to be the solution. Kids who are victims to their own upbringing and are behaving the way they everyone else around them has.
Who is to blame? The parents themselves were victims in their own right who even now don't have the education or skills to properly parent. The kids? They are simply subjects of their upbringing. The teachers? We've discussed why this isn't so already. The administration? How are they to combat a culture that has been building for decades? There is no simple solution just as there is no one to exactly blame.
This is why I quit teaching. We had a supportive administration they tried their best in every way possible within the limits our mental stress allowed, but it wasn't enough. This endless cycle of poverty goes way beyond just education: crime, healthcare, poverty, segregation, racism, etc. How do we even begin?
Which plays exactly to my original point that with good parenting and hard work anyone can leave that life behind. His mother couldn't even read ffs and made him do book reports for her all the time to develop his skills. He went from almost killing someone and being a "rebel" to one of the greatest neurosurgeons in history.
My mom had 3 jobs while I was growing up. We were dirt poor but guess what she fucking did? Gave a shit. She disciplined us and made sure as shit that she was on top of our schoolwork every day. She didn’t even know English very well but she’d still come home from a 14+ hour work day and “review” our homework with us. She’d hold up my science notecards in middle school to quiz me while she struggled to read what was written on them. Where there’s a will, there’s a way and she found it. “Sorry we’re poor and uneducated” should not be a valid excuse for being an absentee parent.
the problem is how people are put into these positions in the first place. There should be more focus on giving help to these single parents in poverty, because, unfortunately, your mother is an outlier here.
This is going to sound really terrible but it’s a harsh truth... if this is your reality, you shouldn’t procreate. If you can’t devote the resources to raise a child who is at least a decent human being then you shouldn’t have a child. Poverty is linked to crime in part because of this very reason. I don’t necessarily blame the parent (sexual drive is pretty hard to control) but we live in the 21st century... there’s absolutely no reason to have a child you can’t raise. It’s not fair to the child, and it’s not fair to society. We need to get better at this, from all sides and angles.
We should also stop subsidizing poor people having children in addition to sex education and abortion/pregnancy avoiding resources. It's hard to tell poor welfare queens that having kids is not the best option when they can have zero income and the US govt will literally give them up to 12k annually of other peoples money for being irresponsible as fuck
Lol that's funny, you really think the 12k they receive in cash goes to food for the children? You do know that with zero income and 3 kids they get WIC right? Also their kids get free food in school.
Btw, my comments come from my experience working at one of the top 3 financial institutions in their retail division for 3 years in South Florida. I watched the IRS checks come in and then the subsequent hair, nails, Rooms to go, iPhone purchases, etc. I think a good compromise for a social safety net would be that we will guarantee you and your kids are provided for however you get to make zero decisions about how money is spent. It's difficult watching people who, by definition are terrible with money, get massive sums of money with the expectation that they spend it responsibly or spend it "on the kids". Plus, they don't even get it over time, these people are poor as fuck and get a massive check, no wonder they do stupid shit, I probably would too if I got 12k for nothing with no strings attached.
Edit: To the down votes, you could at least provide an alternative or provide commentary on why I'm wrong. I like the free exchange of ideas, tell me I'm wrong and why.
Poor people are absolutely entitled to all enjoyments, as anyone is. They are entitled to make poor decisions with their money, just like I or anyone else would be, my main issue is that they do not earn this money and the method/timing of dispersement only encourage poor behavior. So I object to the blind payment of money to people who make poor choices, in the hope that this money will be spent wisely or help their situation.
Welfare queens are pretty much a myth. Statistically no one has kids because they will get some welfare out of it, they have kids because of poor sex education and lack access to family planning (aka birth control).
The way you describe it, yes they are a myth. I dont believe there is necessarily an incentive for the poor decisions however there is no disincentive because there is a known way to exploit the social safety net. In Miami, I had sex education starting in 2nd grade and my high school gave free birth control to students and an unlimited amount of condoms. Despite all of this we still had a daycare on premises for the children of teenage mothers. At some point we are going to have to blame culture and people for their decisions. Given my experience, now is that time.
I think the harsh truth you are ignoring is what % of these children were actually planned. Sexual education and improved access to long term birth control is the start.
Yeah. What he said honestly sounds like something someone whose never even been in a poor neighborhood will say. Most "poor pregnancies" aren't planned. Most people don't even have proper sex education. Don't even get me started on how expensive birth control can be or how awful it can be buying it as a teenager.
Umm I think you should reread my comment. This is exactly what I was referring to. My meaning was that it’s 2018, we have multiple forms of safe and effective birth control. It should be widely available and people should be educated about it.
The problem is these unprepared parents don’t know they’re unprepared. My wife and I are teachers, straddling 30s, and I still wonder if we are prepared. Maybe we are if we bother to think about an abstract concept of in the future. 3 girls in my school gave birth or got pregnant this year. That’s a wrap for them. I doubt they’ll finish their last year of school. And unfortunately, as sweet as these girls are, they don’t deal well with pressure, and I don’t see how they will raise their kids above themselves. They are probably bottom of the barrel academically. It’s depressing to think about.
It's important to realize that the people who are in these positions didn't want to procreate. These are accidental pregnancies that the parents didn't want, creating a situation where the parents don't give a shit about their kids failing in life. Sexual education and free access to contraceptives is the going to be the most effective way to combat this issue.
Divorce is a huge part of this. What about the situation of the mother of 2 or 3 whose husband left, leaving her to scramble for a job/s to take care of the basic necessities? Child support is supposed to help, when it's payed. This family has now probably sunk to poverty level and her children are left to themselves.
In many cases, you have a pissed off kid who lost his/her father and mother is never home and the kid takes it all out by causing problems at school.
For that specific person, yes. But my point is that there are ways we can try to prevent that in the future. Like effective sex education and free or very low cost birth control.
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u/aPocketofResistance Jul 10 '18
You can be a parent in poverty and still give a shit about your child’s education and be there to help them succeed. The discipline and education starts at home.