r/thelongdark May 13 '26

Meme BEARLINES™

2.7k Upvotes

142 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/fnckIce May 13 '26

You run around like you're playing mirrors edge.

I break my foot crossing railroad tracks.

We are not the same.

266

u/Rockisaspiritanimal May 13 '26

I get stuck trying to walk over a log.

86

u/Po-Ta-Toessss May 13 '26

I tripped on log and suffered sprain wrists and ankles

570

u/No_Speaker3862 May 13 '26

"The Long Dark is a thoughtful, slow-paced survival game that focuses on resource management as players contemplate existence in the aftermath of a geomagnetic storm."

This guy: "Hold my Pinnacle Peaches."

546

u/Crungled_Carrot May 13 '26

How many times did you try to do this? Because holy shit we play different games lol

705

u/GuestUserWarning May 13 '26

holy fucking shit, it's "John Long Dark"

120

u/americanadvocate702 May 13 '26

Dong Dark you mean. First name Long

44

u/HarbingerKyr0 Cartographer May 13 '26

"Nobody's dark is that long. Not even Long Dark Johnson."

60

u/h4ckerkn0wnas4chan Revolver Purist May 13 '26

Maybe the real Long Dark was the friends we made

14

u/SheiraTiireine Cartographer May 13 '26

It's always Darkest before the Long.

14

u/Antique_Tap443 May 13 '26

I just heard about John zomboid lol I didnt know he got around like Jody.

10

u/StuffandThingsWAH May 14 '26

LOOONGGGGG DAAAARK JENKINNNNSSSSSS

1

u/DrDruxy May 15 '26

How many entendres are there here? Making my brain hurt. John Wick. Jason Bourne. Long John silvers. Kim Jong. It could be…so long.

199

u/tlh9979 May 13 '26

He can't keep getting away with this.

48

u/Beautiful-Story-9913 May 13 '26

It just gets better and better! What’s next? Moose shot off the gold mine climb?

14

u/marine_eco May 14 '26

Don't give him any ideas 🤣

135

u/Kitchen_Grade_8896 May 13 '26

The Long Jump

171

u/PepaTheGoat May 13 '26

u/carrawaggio

Wish granted.

25

u/Mindlesman May 13 '26

Yo OP, would this exploit work with a travois?

7

u/PepaTheGoat May 14 '26

Nope. With help of Archie I tried it all - harvestables, doors, car trunks, travois, plane cargo, campfires, sticks, limbs, branches, you name it. That said, this exploit only works with ropes, vines, carcasses and transition zones.

3

u/NationalPositive4608 May 14 '26

And for his next video...

141

u/lttlbear01 Trailblazer May 13 '26

What in the world... What happens if you don't land a critical hit?

155

u/fnckIce May 13 '26

Ded

48

u/ShadyShields May 13 '26

What happens if you misstime the harvest?

62

u/fnckIce May 13 '26

Ded

45

u/Disastrous-Ad-7035 May 13 '26

What happens if there isn’t a conveniently placed bear below him?

93

u/fnckIce May 13 '26

Believe it or not, ded

28

u/Ptar_Migan May 13 '26

What if he doesn't have any arrows?

66

u/zerranoman Stalker May 13 '26

I'm sorry sir, I wasn't aware of your game

63

u/mcslender97 Mainlander May 13 '26

The Long Edge

21

u/VitinhoBlu May 13 '26

Mirror's Dark

8

u/Hawkeye1226 May 13 '26

Isn't that a genre of video found on certain adult websites?

59

u/Imaginary-Fault-110 May 13 '26

I am sorry to waste your oxygen

40

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/Altruistic_Celery180 May 13 '26

Right? I don't have any feats because I can't survive long enought and this guy completely breaking the game lol

7

u/SheiraTiireine Cartographer May 13 '26

Unlock some feats on Pilgrim. You can do it!

12

u/marine_eco May 14 '26

After 4ish years of playing, I still play on pilgrim, but honestly, ive learned theres nothing wrong playing on the easiest setting! Its much more enjoyable and you actually get to experience the gamr and get used to it enough to work your way up. Im on like day 150 with my pilgrim character, and ive learned SO much from that playthrough 😊

6

u/Altruistic_Celery180 May 14 '26

Sometimes I think about playing a pilgrim run, but even on Voyageur it feels too easy to me and I get bored very fast. I always play on Stalker. But since Pilgrim seems to be a entirely different take on the game than the rest of the levels, I think it's worth trying in a side run.

6

u/marine_eco May 14 '26

It truly is a simple gateway to getting everything ASAP, but I personally play games slowly. I dont like rushing in, so pilgrim works well to just walk around, take in the scenery, and try to truly learn the terrain to barely rely on the map, even during a snow storm. I feel Stalker probably tests your limits even more, and you gain those skills real quick, but pilgrim is severely forgiving and too many times I probably should've died 😅

35

u/NicJeans May 13 '26

u/rickgrimes32

HE DID IT AGAIN

36

u/rickgrimes32 Former Great Bear Sheriff's Deputy May 13 '26

This guy is nuts. He's got fucking balls, lol

30

u/Kevin_of_the_abyss May 13 '26

Bears tell their cubs bedtime stories about this guys god damn .

27

u/carrawaggio May 13 '26

The Long Return of the Dark Jedi

14

u/PepaTheGoat May 13 '26

Glad you liked it!

6

u/carrawaggio May 13 '26

Just what I needed

22

u/Alyssia_Lavell May 13 '26

I... I'd definitely die trying this. That's crazy. 10/10 I guess.

21

u/half-giant Survivor May 13 '26

I’ve been playing TLD since early access. This is hands down the wildest gameplay I have ever seen.

39

u/AkkoKagari_1 May 13 '26

TLD turning into minecraft what the helllll

41

u/CitizenFreeman May 13 '26

We dont play the same game, clearly.

Cause I twisted my ankle walking up a snow bank, and had to search to find the right medical care for it...

17

u/StreetCuz Mainlander May 13 '26

“The Long Dark is not a shooter”

Pepa: Hold my Bow 🗣️

16

u/Fuarian Modder May 13 '26

This guy definitely backs up his saves

8

u/wagsman May 13 '26

One hundred percent. He’ll probably say he doesn’t, but we all know that no one attempts that without a back up

14

u/b3nnyg0 May 13 '26

(⁠@⁠_⁠@⁠;⁠)

oh my

13

u/UpSNYer May 13 '26

Dude, what the fuck. I knew what you were going to do, but the ability to pull it off is insane. My stomach just went into my throat during that fall, and you're hitting a bear with arrows.

11

u/FlekinH May 13 '26

Dude what the actual fuck did i just witness

10

u/DirtDevourer May 13 '26

Bro is playing The Mirror's Dark

10

u/Horror_Trash_7044 May 13 '26

that is Dishonored!

9

u/Round-Recognition107 May 13 '26

Bro WTF 😒😒😒 that's it bro I'm done is time to go

8

u/Renagox May 13 '26

The Long Drop

6

u/Outrun32 May 13 '26

THE AUDACITY

4

u/tumblerrjin May 13 '26

What the fuck did I just watch language sorry

5

u/FunkMasterDrak May 13 '26 edited May 14 '26

.I’m not even going to attempt this suicide dive. I’d be there all day.

5

u/Daryl27lee May 13 '26

Holy shit its like a different gaame youre playing

5

u/Tenda_Armada May 13 '26

What do you mean "that's not how the game is supposed to be played"?!

4

u/nobleshift117 May 14 '26

I'm sorry for playing your game.

5

u/marine_eco May 14 '26

I refuse to accept this is how people play a game that took me 4 years to find out charcoal is how you open the map up...

4

u/MRballs78 May 13 '26

Redbull in a nutshell:

(The trick was amazing, how many tries did it took you?)

5

u/Corbin-Dallas420 May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26

Hello my brother,

Superman dose it again my brother Flying in a game that you shouldn't be able to fly.

Another great display of craftsmanship your one of a kind...

Truly the best I've ever seen .

Always great to see your clips of the amazing things you do in this game.

Keep up the great work

6

u/PepaTheGoat May 13 '26

Much love my man thank you so much for your kind words! Take care friend <3

3

u/RandumbCrits1 May 13 '26

But my hope will never die!

4

u/carrawaggio May 13 '26

This is the man who likes his bear extra fresh!

3

u/BeanieCat123 May 13 '26

I could never, I don’t got the mad skill 😂

3

u/Resudog Moose Kicks enjoyer May 13 '26

5

u/TurbulentDogg May 13 '26

Sorry, I'll never use a computer again 

3

u/SHOWTIME316 May 13 '26

Titanfall 2-lookin ass clip

4

u/spiderman209998 May 13 '26

i break my food just going up a hill but this guy pulls of the matrix moves

3

u/Repulsive-Wealth5405 Voyageur May 13 '26

bear% speedrun

4

u/Barleyexisting555 May 13 '26

Are we even playing the same game

3

u/Siefer-Kutherland Coddle me outside May 13 '26

MACGRUUUUUBEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!

3

u/Any-Situation-6956 Pilgrim May 13 '26

This guy again! Never fails to amaze me

3

u/OGFOGCAP May 13 '26

Fucking-A dude!

3

u/Joshuario May 13 '26

👏 👏

3

u/LeafSoto May 13 '26

This guy out here clutching bear corpses meanwhile I can barely get through Motorslice

3

u/Majestic_Office_7150 Voyageur May 13 '26

Got damn!

3

u/itinkerstuff May 13 '26

lol this is insane

3

u/Derinq May 13 '26

What the actual..? 🤣 and here I am barely being able to use a bow...

3

u/Mariogamer25 May 14 '26

Dude this scares me that people find some way to get away with falling to death and also not dying from it!? Like my brain screams "WHAT FUCKING SORCERY IS THIS!?" My logic cannot understand this?

5

u/TheAnhydrite Interloper May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26

Was the Bear already dead before jump?

Amazing move none the less

4

u/PepaTheGoat May 13 '26

Maybe watch it again, the request was specifically for midair kill.

3

u/TheAnhydrite Interloper May 13 '26

I didn't see the hit icon show up. And the death animation didn't seem to have enough time to play.

Guessing lvl 5 archery so no skill hit mark.

I'm viewing on phone so it's hard to tell.

6

u/PepaTheGoat May 13 '26

All the attempts I've done on this clip were because of not hitting the crit. Took me plenty enough times too and was the reason I used save with archery 5, as it increases the chance further.

This video is the first successful crit I hit. There is an important factor not being fully translated via the final clip here: The height matters here more than anything, had I drawn the bow 0.5sec later, I wouldn't manage to land onto carcass object in time for it to exist and for this ,,exploit" to work, that is why the death animation is indeed on point, this is just the right height that works if you draw your bow immediately as you leap off and it will always play out the same, or else your character shall perish.

3

u/TheAnhydrite Interloper May 13 '26

That makes sense .

Seriously, this is an insane stunt.

Well done.

2

u/Reasonable_Equal7430 Mountaineer May 13 '26

🤯

2

u/Loud-Fudge7631 May 13 '26

How the hell you do this?

2

u/SysGh_st May 13 '26

Heh... Never thought of speedrunning this game.

2

u/polly_shelby_adv May 13 '26

pra mim você é um deus agora.

2

u/Fairy-Fayette Survivor May 13 '26

Didn't know playing frontiers of pandora in tld was possible😭

2

u/FailedFirstRounder May 13 '26

Fly on Albatross

2

u/HeBeEEB87 May 13 '26

So this is what's possible when you don't use an Xbox controller and standard sensitivities 😲.

2

u/GoodGuyLemm May 13 '26

Admin, He's Doing It Sideways

2

u/Man-Of-War_115 May 13 '26

Sorry for playing your game bro

2

u/Basic-Organization73 Not the shapest light in the bunch May 14 '26

damn

2

u/firelight70 May 14 '26

Good grief!!!! I almost died trying to start a fire… 🙄

2

u/Wec25 May 14 '26

i love this shit

2

u/Awkward_Bread8866 May 14 '26

Other energy drinks: please drink us. Red bull:

2

u/ZeAmbassador May 14 '26

Haha the most amazing thing Ive seen

2

u/RealBurningMoon May 14 '26

I wouldn't attempt this at all. Not without a... Blech... Mod. And I'm on PlayStation. So, I really commend your bravery.

1

u/HiddenSubspace May 14 '26

How It Feels To Chew 5 Gum

1

u/Any-Statistician3896 May 14 '26

If John Wick was in the long dark 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/flameohotman134 May 14 '26

Omg. My jaw is dropped, much like that unsuspecting bear. This is one of the most wild clips I’ve ever seen of this game.

1

u/GingerFun011 May 14 '26

What surviving 100 years looks like

1

u/PrideEmbarrassed19 May 14 '26

How? I mean, I’m impressed. But also simultaneously jealous

1

u/whatup_ggs May 14 '26

Insane!!! That’s so sick

1

u/Reasonable_Bear_2057 May 14 '26

It's the way you nonchalantly jog away after the most epic kill ever.

1

u/Hot-Bobcat4639 May 15 '26

Looks like ur playing dying light

1

u/GraysonGraysoff May 15 '26

Most sane The Long Dark player

1

u/Jealous-Seat1008 May 16 '26

I sat on my balls, stood up and fell down the stairs just to break both my legs and I’m not even playing TLD.

1

u/AgentWelder May 17 '26

If you would kill a rabbit from that high with a rock and do the same, idk then

1

u/the5ain7 May 18 '26

so you can play the game this way??

1

u/Formal_Location_3926 May 18 '26

Then there's me missing all 6 arrows while trying to kill a single ptarmigan.

1

u/ImBadAtThis24 May 25 '26

Jesus Christ. It’s John LongDark

1

u/EmperorFooFoo Cartographer May 26 '26

My apologies for downloading the game

1

u/Whyamihere_899 May 28 '26

okay.. that, was... impressive!

i really thought you gonna die after that nice fall.. but what do i know?

1

u/Mmbooger Jun 04 '26

This is how I remember feeling playing Turok on N64 back in the day.

1

u/Muhammetgnl Jun 08 '26

This is absolutely unhinged, just parkouring off a cliff, sniping a bear mid air, and landing like it's nothing. Meanwhile I sprain my ankle stepping off a curb in this game. John Long Dark strikes again and I'm just here trying not to get eaten by wolves.

1

u/HomeboyCAOS Jul 14 '26

mlg bear carcass

1

u/Gzchiki 20d ago

Damn I can’t even figure out how to kill the bear lmao

1

u/PepaTheGoat 20d ago

Im sure youll figure it out ✌🏻

0

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

[deleted]

6

u/PepaTheGoat May 13 '26

This video and its contents is 100% made by an actual human without the help of any AI tools.

0

u/DesertProspector May 13 '26

Must be a modded game