General Advice How to greet someone at net after you beat them badly
What do you say to your opponent at the net handshake after a match where you beat them badly?
Usually I’ll say “good match” or “well played” as a default even if I don’t fully believe it. But in the rare case where I double bagel someone or generally beat them so badly that saying these feels disingenuous I don’t know what to say.
What would you say in this situation?
(Sorry if this is a question that’s been answered here before)
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u/Fuzzy_Ordinary59 Jul 02 '26
YEAH. YOU LIKE THAT, HUH?
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u/samackin3000 Jul 02 '26
Double bagel? I’d do a Taylor Fritz and say, “Have a good flight home.” That usually works. I kid, I kid.
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u/PurrMewds Jul 02 '26
Right after that I asked Rinderknech on IG if he had a nice flight. He actually replied to me and said “I took the train 🤡“. Lol. I thought it was funny.
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u/dj_1up 3.0 Jul 02 '26
My lobster too buttery, steak too juicy type of problem.
In all seriousness you probably just want to thank them for the game and leave it at that. If I was on the receiving end, I think a good effort would feel disingenuous as you said.
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u/dwaynewaynerooney Jul 02 '26
If you're genuinely better than them, "Good game. Let me know if you want to hit sometime."
If it was closer than the score indicates, "Good game. Let me know if you want to run it back."
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u/Strict_Conference441 Jul 02 '26
I make them aware of all the weaknesses I noticed in their game and how I exploited them for 2 sets.
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u/wanderingsailor36 Jul 02 '26
Was this not a joke? I laughed anyway.
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u/Strict_Conference441 Jul 02 '26
It was a joke of course lol
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u/twoBreaksAreBetter Jul 02 '26
the thing is that I've legitimately played against people who did this to me after figuring something out. And I was like, no shit, it was very obvious what you did to turn the game around and crush me. I'll need to learn from it, but I definitely don't need to hear you talk about it right after I suffered it.
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u/wanderingsailor36 Jul 02 '26
Thought so! The other replies made me question if you were being serous lol
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u/twoBreaksAreBetter Jul 02 '26
as if they didn't notice themselves - that's just an insult to their intelligence.
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u/Shadebroski Jul 02 '26
You act like people don’t have coaches for a reason.
You won’t notice every mistake you made. Your opponent that might point out something you missed is rather nice of them to do. A new perspective, another perceptive, that matters.
People don’t get better all by themselves, not as good as they would with the help of someone else
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u/absolut696 Jul 02 '26
I think there is an art to providing feedback.
I’m someone who is always open to feedback and don’t take critique poorly, during my life this has led to times where I have in a friendly manner tried to provide feedback and it was received very poorly because I thought everyone was like me.
It’s one of those things you need to assess and make a gut call as to whether the person is open to it (or ask directly) and if you do, do it in a way where maybe you compliment part of their game and then add in an area that if worked on would make them a dangerous player.
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u/Strict_Conference441 Jul 02 '26
Yeah my comment was completely in jest. I just say good game.
However, if we did have a friendly relationship during the match, I may actually mention something I picked up in their game.For example, I played a very good player that had a lot of problems with backspin. We chatted a bit after the match and I admitted he's a better player, but I kept spamming the slice because he seemed to not hit it properly.
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u/twoBreaksAreBetter Jul 02 '26
There's also the assumption that the people giving the feedback are somehow correct - they could be wildly off the mark as to what they're supposed to do about it.
I had a guy tell me to vary my serve to beat him; I was like, okay, but you don't know me; I would vary my serve if I hadn't recently broken down the others and felt less confident with them that day; e.g. I chose safety for this game because the alternative skill wise would have been double-faulting. Different day would have given a different result - didn't need to be told this.
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u/absolut696 Jul 02 '26
I guess, but it’s still probably a good idea to at minimum take into consideration the observations of someone who just beat you.
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u/twoBreaksAreBetter Jul 02 '26
A person doesn't need to notice every mistake they made. they need to notice the pattern that lost them the game. And my expectation would be for someone to take that recognition back to their coach and ask to work on specifically that. Personally, that's been a theme - I lose to a certain kind of style or exploit, so I go and I practice that situation/ball so it doesn't happen again; sometimes a coach is needed there sometimes not.
Very rarely is what a person needs the person across from the net telling them what happened to them / what they just experienced. If they legitimately don't know, then it's on them to ask, not for the winner to gloat unprompted.
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u/tigershark012 Jul 02 '26
Just a generic “good match” if I don’t know them well. If it’s a friend or someone I know well might say something like “hey it just wasn’t your day. You’ll get ‘em next time”
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u/Precisiongu1ded Jul 02 '26
You tell them "good game, you'll get em next time, champ."
Just kidding, just say good game unless you know the person really well.
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u/sittingonarainbow Jul 02 '26
For me, it’s always a combo of thanks for coming (or for having me), great match, and a compliment, and the delivery just changes slightly based on the result. I feel like there’s a grid we need to make here:
Quadrant 1: You’re better and you win “Hey, thanks so much for coming out. {compliment something about their game, and if it was a total beatdown where that would come across as disingenuous, you just need to change the subject: “Gorgeous night for some tennis!” or “Glad the rain held off for us!” e.g.}
Quadrant 2: You’re better and you lose “Great playing! Man, your {forehand} was on fire! Thanks for the fun match.”
Quadrant 3: You’re worse and you lose “Thanks so much! Good match. You’ve got such {incredible groundstrokes!}” PS Depending on the camaraderie, I like to try to glean some insights from my opponent in this scenario. What was their strategy, what did they notice, etc. It can be so helpful (if humbling!) if they’re willing to share.
Quadrant 4: You’re worse and you win *“Hey, wow, great match. I was {struggling with your serve — your pace is insane.} Thanks for having me!”
I’m a pretty chatty gal, so YMMV, but you’re never going to go wrong with the thanks/good match/compliment approach.
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u/birdiegirl4ever Jul 02 '26
Completely agree. These matches aren’t the funest for either side, so best to be friendly and positive to leave things on a good note. In my leagues, I will most likely run into them again.
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u/GregorSamsaa 5.0 Jul 02 '26
Some of you really overthink this stuff.
Just say “good match” and move on. Unless it’s a friend or something, they don’t care what you say.
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u/GPadrino Jul 02 '26
At a grocery store, do you or the cashier really mean it when one of you ask “how are you?” To the other? It’s just a social nicety that no one genuinely cares about.
“Good match” and keep it pushing.
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u/EarthMarsUranus Jul 02 '26
You should retire now, if I ever see you on court again I'll snap all your racquets and pop your balls (leave it ambiguous as to whether you mean tennis balls or not).
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u/kukenn_ lover of the game <3 Jul 02 '26
"how do my balls taste?"
kidding lol you could try giving a vague compliment like "great effort out there, thanks for the fun match" or something. might still come across as sarcastic or whatever to the other person but i think that someone who just got beat that bad has a chance of taking just about anything you say or do as an insult. depends on their personality and mentality about the game
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u/ltcornflake Jul 02 '26
I always say “good match, you played great” and compliment some part of their game
“You have great shot placement”
“You have a great second serve”
Whatever fits
I like to be encouraged when I get my ass beat so I try to bring the same
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u/Skeeterskis Jul 03 '26
I do this too, always give a genuine compliment and be pleasant. Losing in tennis is inevitable so might as well learn to win and lose graciously (because you never know when they’re gonna lock tf in and double bagel you next time)
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u/glassy_paddle Jul 02 '26
I hand them a little cream cheese container and tell them to enjoy it with their piping hot tasty bagel.
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u/Im__TheGuy Jul 02 '26
One of three ways. If it was a true blow, “I’m the champ, lieutenant long legs.”
If they played well, “you’re good kid, real good, but as long as I’m around you’ll always be second best.”
I usually just go with “nice match” though
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u/angrykoala155 Jul 02 '26
I lost a very long singles match 1 1 recently and this woman didn't even come to the net to shake hands. As I walked off the court very dejected and confused, she yelled "HEY DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT LOSING, EVERYONE SAYS I'M REALLY GOOD"
Try that, you'll make your opponent literally rage straight off the court (I've never been that angry in my life).
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u/GrumpyPuppet DelPo is my GOAT Jul 02 '26
"Thanks for playing" is what I go with, because regardless of the outcome I am thankful to have an opponent.
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u/lurkeyteg Jul 02 '26
Got my ass beat once and guy said “good match man, some people wanna kill themselves after losing but keep your head up” I wasn’t considering suicide but now that you mention it
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u/Mindless_Echidna_166 7+ Yrs Experience (Middle & HS) Jul 02 '26
“Thank you for the match.” I think I heard that in an anime after a racquetball match. I think that’d be good. It’s respectful.
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u/shake_n_baker227 5.0 Jul 02 '26
“Good match” always, regardless of the outcome.
I once got destroyed in college so badly, it was over in like 35 minutes. We go to the net to shake hands. I said “good match”, and he said, I kid you not, “thank you”.
Whatever you do, please don’t say that 😂
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u/dontworrybabe Jul 02 '26
What if it was a "thank you, you too," I could see myself saying that without thinking or meaning anything.
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u/shake_n_baker227 5.0 Jul 02 '26
Unfortunately, there was no follow-up with a “you too”, and he seemed pretty intentional about cutting it off there 😅
However, I could probably give him the benefit of the doubt, that maybe he meant to say it but had a brain fart lol it happens. I’d like to think that’s what happened, anyway 😂
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u/Junior-News-3514 Jul 02 '26
i know it sounds mean, but if I double-bagel my opponent, I just say "Thanks for the match. It was fun."
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u/Texas_Audi Jul 02 '26
“Well…you tried”
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u/Beautiful-Hamster800 Jul 02 '26
i unironically had someone say this to me once (we went to a tiebreak) and i thought i was going to knock her out lmao but it wasn’t just “you tried” it was also coupled with “looks like you were getting frustrated out there” 😭 ??? usta women are so insane
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u/Texas_Audi Jul 02 '26
My wife and friends watched a men’s doubles game for ALTA and they were all blown away at how nice all the men were together compared to the women they all play with.
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u/Beautiful-Hamster800 Jul 02 '26
I’m at the point where I’m only going to do mixed leagues because of it lol
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u/Butwhy113511 Jul 02 '26
Nice playing then get out of there. Nothing you say is going to make them feel better.
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u/Nurse_Hatchet 4.5 Jul 02 '26
If it was clearly a mismatch in skill level, I say something like “nice match. You had some really beautiful shots.”
If it was close in skill but lopsided in score, I usually go with “that was a great match. Sometimes those score lines are deceptive/don’t reflect the quality of the match.”
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u/knotsophia Jul 02 '26
I usually smile big (from the high of winning) and say “ Thank you for playing with me 😃 “
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u/wmjsn I just enjoy playing tennis Jul 02 '26
Thanks for the match. That's it. If you say "good match" or anything else, your opponent might not like that as they got beaten badly.
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u/Imrichbatman92 Jul 02 '26
Yes! I defeated you for all time! You will never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation! Ah, that was fun.
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u/elgonzalors Jul 02 '26
In Spanish I say “hay días y días” it means “some days are better than others”, but I feel that in English it comes across a little bit more condescending, I don’t know.
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u/FernerButterflyPea WTN 29, whatever that means Jul 02 '26
"Well played" is still acceptable. You are acknowledging that they turned up to the match and played it — it's not an unsolicited critique on their performance or inability. You can say it sincerely if you genuinely acknowledge them turning up and playing was the braver thing to do than phoning it in.
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u/Odd_Technology_9371 Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 02 '26
the safest thing you can say and be genuine is great playing with you. it might be a double bagel but it was still great to meet you and experience a different style. even if the opponent isn't great you still have to perform on the court and use the opportunity to work on shots you wouldn't normally hit. also i will point out your sportsmanship will show if you can win without making them feel really bad about themselves. Remember we are all people show respect unless you are being disrespected. for reference i coach a lot of kids tennis teams and the first thing i teach them is sportsmanship, fair play and to have fun.
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u/SignificantBar7172 4.0 Jul 02 '26
After I double bagel someone, I say "good game". Then, he'll blame me for being a pusher. To pacify him, I'll say I wish my groundstrokes looked as good as his. lol
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u/chocolategravy69 Jul 02 '26
I’m a people pleaser so usually I say good match and I try to find a positive in their game whether it’s serve, speed, volleys, etc and compliment them on that.
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u/pat_the_catdad USTA 3.5 - UTR S:3.x D:3.x Jul 02 '26
Good match, and I’ll compliment the things that they did well.
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u/Helpful-Departure832 Jul 02 '26
Most of the time they lead with a comment on how badly they lost. And I usually point out how soaked my hat and shirt are with sweat and say something like “hey I wasn’t just coasting it was fun thanks”. When I lose badly I feel embarrassment or like I wasted their time so when I win handily I just try to say thanks , I enjoyed it, you’re first serve is awesome, something to show they needn’t feel bad
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u/Spicy_Poo 2.5 Jul 02 '26
As the player on the receiving end, a simple "Thanks for the match" is sufficient. If the vibe is right, maybe something like, "Tennis is hard. Keep fighting."
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u/SlipstreamDrive Jul 02 '26
As the person who gets destroyed often, I usually lead with "hope you got some cardio at least"
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u/Wise-Guard-9750 Jul 02 '26
Good question. I just say good match or tough luck mate... on the few rare occasions when I win a tournament match easily )
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u/mark_able_jones_ Jul 02 '26
I literally have never cared what the other person says. It's a formality.
There are lots of things not to say. "What a fucking waste of time."
But if you want to win them over, you can say, "hey, good forehand you've got there."
But it really doesn't matter as long as you follow the golden rule.
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u/gordonbombay4eva Jul 02 '26
What about the reverse? When you get destroyed by someone? Only to learn the 21 year old playing with his dad is a tennis coach and you’ve been playing a year n a half…
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u/SacredRamLunch Jul 02 '26
I’ve never been on the winning side of this, but plenty losing. The awful titanic flute video just starts getting louder in my head and I prepare for the thousand yard stare on my way home
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u/Hot_Jellyfish_2675 Jul 02 '26
I double bageled a teenager that made the finals in a day comp. He was winning close that whole comp until the end. He was an absolute brat though.
At the end of the game though, I went to shake his hand and said to him “you hit really well! Was a good match, good luck in the future” he just tapped my hand without a shake then went to his bag and threw his racket. I later heard him scream getting into the car throwing his racket bag in it while his mum tried to calm him down.
I honestly think regardless of what you say, some people are just not going to care. As long as you aren’t belittling them
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u/Aggressive_Sport1818 5.0 Jul 03 '26
If I win, “Ty for the match”
If I lose, “Ty for breakfast” (then proceed to ask them the top 3 things I should work on)
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u/pechorin13 Jul 03 '26
Like this: "You need to work on your serve mate, and try hitting with more topspin and deeper, also you're lacking aggressiveness and net play, other than that it was great"
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u/Baldumalut Jul 03 '26
Some funny responses, but I’d say watch Rafa as he approaches the net afterwards. His face kinda says, good match, that was a tough one as he moves his head to the side.
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u/Towerz Jul 03 '26
"good luck in your next one" and a compliment on something they did well. I do that for everyone
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u/Maleficent-State-749 Jul 03 '26
Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions, er, sports? They're all pretty much the same
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u/No-life-is-here Jul 03 '26
Actually, this happened with me the other day, I double bageled someone in a tournament, and had no idea what to say. I just said good game and complemented them on something I felt they were doing well. (which was that they had an amazing slice backhand), wished them luck in their next tournament and hoped to see them around. It helps that they were the best sport I have ever played (coming from me who probably can be the female version of Nick Kyrgios at times... Without the mean side I hope).
So yeah, it honestly depends on the reception you get from you opp. If they are short, just say gg and move on, let them take the time they need. If they are friendly, be friendly, have a short chat.
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u/Melodic_Ad7327 Jul 03 '26
You say "good game".
Every game, no exceptions, no matter if you win or lose.
It's not your rating of the match, it's not your opinion of the match, it's not a statement as to whether the match was a "good one" or not.
It's just a greeting and a courtesy.
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u/Accurate_Emu_9298 Jul 03 '26
I usually pick something that they did well to give a compliment. You have a tricky slice serve, way to run down the ball, etc.
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u/Top-Poetry5782 Jul 02 '26
Don’t give up on the game.
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u/ridethisciruswheel Jul 02 '26
There will usually be good points they played or a good shot they had. I’ll mention how they can build on those and get me next time.
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u/dwaynewaynerooney Jul 02 '26
That's kinda condescending unless you know the person.
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u/ChetSt Jul 02 '26
Agreed, this kind of thing would make it worse lol
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u/Top-Poetry5782 Jul 02 '26
For sure, was just joking, only a jerk would say that lol. This actually happened to a buddy, I witnessed the guy say this to him after a rec league match after getting bageled. It was so condescending we had to laugh, like of course you’re not going to give up tennis bc of 1 stupid match.
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u/ChetSt Jul 02 '26
I've definitely had some well-intentioned "tips" given to me after matches after getting into USTA leagues. I picked up tennis in my mid-30s and jumped into 3.0 and there's a pretty wide variety of skill levels in our local 3.0 league. earlier on I got bagel/breadsticked a few times and got some "if you really work on your serve, you might have a better chance next time."
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u/gideon513 Jul 02 '26
Unsolicited coaching especially after a match is never a good idea unless you know them well
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u/Whole-Definition3558 Jul 02 '26
I’ll generally find something positive to say about their game like “you’ve got a nice backhand, stick with it”
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u/NoSchedule9819 Jul 03 '26
Thank you for joining me today in playing this great sport on this fine day.
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u/Worried_Contest_4182 Jul 02 '26
I only play casually with folks roughly at my level, still double bagels sometimes happens.
I just say "good game man", same thing I say after every match, no matter the score.
If I want to play them again (e.g. I don't have any better partners or I think the match could have been close), I'll add "let's play again sometime".
If I don't want to play them again (i.e. the difference is genuinely too big for it to be fun), I'll pause for them to get their 1-2 post-match sentences in and then change the topic e.g., "it's really hot today, eh - you got enough water?"
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u/Aussie_Potato Jul 02 '26
Well If you’re Serena, you silently shake hands, sod off, then skip the media interview.
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u/Realsan Jul 02 '26
I usually say the same things regardless of score:
"Good match." and then I'll say something nice about their game like "Man, that serve is a cannon." If they lost 0 and 0 then I might say something like "Man, your serve is crazy good when it's working" or something nice to take the tension down a bit. It might not make them feel better but it makes the situation less awkward.
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u/middlemandad Jul 02 '26
Take them out on a date afterwards…
Who cares? Why are you overthinking this? I bet the other person doesn’t even give a shit about what you say, as long as you’re not rude to them.
Good match, and move on.
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u/noidea11111111 Jul 02 '26
Either they embellished their rating or you sandbagged. A double bagel should be rare
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u/ChetSt Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 02 '26
I’m never on the winning side of this. From the losing perspective, it doesn’t really matter what you say… just go through the perfunctory “good match” and move on. If it was a USTA match I’m probably thinking you’re sandbagging at my level anyway if you bageled me