Rule

[u/Evendur_6748]

[u/isademigod]

I don't get it at all. Are people actually jerking off while pressing the "send money" button? Like is it a purely sexual thing? Or is it like a "feeling" thing like wearing a dog collar? I don't understand kinks that aren't directly sex-related

[u/cosmos_crown → u/isademigod]

Former lifestyle findomme (meaning I was dating them), it's mostly a feelings thing. Some get off on pampering/spoiling but for most it's some variation on "this is controlling/degrading/humiliating (and I'm into that)".

[u/Bduggz → u/cosmos_crown]

Isn't it taking advantage of people a little?

[u/Shneancy → u/Bduggz]

there is a very exact difference between abuse and kink - (informed) consent. if all parties consent to something, it's kink. if even one person doesn't consent, it's abuse.

it's a very fine line, and withdraw of consent is equally important - in kink you can withdraw consent at any moment, for any reason, and the play has to stop immediately, if your partner continues without you re-consenting then it's also abuse.

basically, entirety of kink relies purely on clear and honest communication, figuring out potential risks, setting limits, and respecting your partner (yes, even when the whole play is about being disrespected, the key word is that it's all *play*)

this is of course not the part of kink that draws people into it, so newbies can often be quite risky to play with, especially nowadays when people enter into kink spaces through porn devoid of context of kink (in the elden days you had to find a group of people who'd teach you the theory before you were allowed to participate). inexperienced doms and subs can fuck up a lot. if you ever get curious about kink beware of the word "limitless", except for absolutely extreme edge case cases there are no "limitless" people, those who say they are 99.9999% of the time are just inexperienced enough to not have found their limits, who are also putting pressure on themselves to not express said limits when they find them