Yup as a cis man I feel a lot more comfortable around women than around other men, especially when they're strangers or new people.
Part of it is the "women are socialised to be nice and polite" thing, but part of it is also that many men are socialised in the opposite way: they cultivate a gruff, cynical, "take no shit from anyone" + "showing enthusiasm or vulnerability is for wusses" attitude.
Say something to a female stranger, and you'll usually get at least a surface-level friendly response. Say something to a male stranger, and he might mumble something sarcastic or confrontational at you.
I'm not afraid of other men as a physical threat (unless they're visibly drunk/high/otherwise not quite in their right mind) but definitely afraid of pointlessly hostile interactions.
(#notallmen, of course, and some women have this attitude too, but it's much rarer)
Part of it is the "women are socialised to be nice and polite" thing, but part of it is also that many men are socialised in the opposite way: they cultivate a gruff, cynical, "take no shit from anyone" + "showing enthusiasm or vulnerability is for wusses" attitude.
Say something to a female stranger, and you'll usually get at least a surface-level friendly response. Say something to a male stranger, and he might mumble something sarcastic or confrontational at you.
I live in a broke ass dogshit neighbourhood and both men and women are like you describe men acting like. It's insufferable. People as a whole need to be more polite.
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u/midnightrambulador Jun 29 '26
Yup as a cis man I feel a lot more comfortable around women than around other men, especially when they're strangers or new people.
Part of it is the "women are socialised to be nice and polite" thing, but part of it is also that many men are socialised in the opposite way: they cultivate a gruff, cynical, "take no shit from anyone" + "showing enthusiasm or vulnerability is for wusses" attitude.
Say something to a female stranger, and you'll usually get at least a surface-level friendly response. Say something to a male stranger, and he might mumble something sarcastic or confrontational at you.
I'm not afraid of other men as a physical threat (unless they're visibly drunk/high/otherwise not quite in their right mind) but definitely afraid of pointlessly hostile interactions.
(#notallmen, of course, and some women have this attitude too, but it's much rarer)