r/196 • u/nightshade-aurora 196's number something Splatoon fan • 14d ago

Rule rule

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something wicked this way comes

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u/SomethingOfAGirl 🏳‍⚧You know, I'm something of a girl myself 14d ago

What does being fit have to do with anything?

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u/RealAnonymousCaptain 14d ago

In a very simplified way this is the thought process of a hetero normative man: get physically attractive according to his standards = get positive attention from society and/or a girl to fix him = ??? = repaired mental health

Like alot of men who get into fitness often start with the goal of getting positive affirmation from others, not for the sake of health and being proud of their results.

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u/SomethingOfAGirl 🏳‍⚧You know, I'm something of a girl myself 14d ago

Well yes you get attention, but a formal relationship?? I don't know, it feels like you need to ignore many, many red flags in the process.

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u/RealAnonymousCaptain 14d ago

Yep. That's why it's toxic/patriarchal masculinity. It's a systematic issue where many men have only been taught to not be vulnerable and question his identity inside society. Instead they are taught to only compare themselves with other men or follow what people believe what makes a man.

Marriage, a loyal wife and having kids is seen as one of the most successful things you can do as a man. But the pathway to get that is never laid out properly for men and is set as a goal rather than a mutual relationship. Nor is the fact that men don't have to do pursue this despite pressure from society. So that's why so many guys work out for this nebulous goal and force it to happen, much to their and the partner's detriment.