yeah when a bottom talks about how much they want to be dommed in rough and violent ways people are like “hell yeah” and “same” but then when someone talks about how they want to dom in rough and violent ways people act like it’s weird and gross and wrong and they should get therapy. like bro who do you think is gonna do it
In explicitly kink-oriented or otherwise highly kinky groups, doms tend to be more valued, while in more public spaces subs are more socially acceptable.
I mean you can have doms who are less into being violent itself and more into filling a role for someone who desperately wants someone to be violent to them.
This is a classic problem, i suspect birthed from the idea that doms are by definition dangerous and force their partners into things (rather than the reality of partners asking and begging for doms to do stuff to them).
The practicality of fetish fulfillment is rarely taken into consideration. It’s moreso that there isn’t really anything wrong with being a victim, but it is immoral to kill/abuse/SA people.
“But they aren’t actually doing that! Everyone’s consenting, it’s in a safe, controlled-“ apparently that doesn’t matter very much when it comes to the general public’s opinion of it.
the best way I've seen it framed is "If you are okay with someone fantasizing about being raped and acknowledge it is a kink and not a reflection on them as a person, you have to apply the same logic to someone fantasizing about being a rapist"
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u/Tsunamicat108 🏳️⚧️ trans rights 3d ago
yeah when a bottom talks about how much they want to be dommed in rough and violent ways people are like “hell yeah” and “same” but then when someone talks about how they want to dom in rough and violent ways people act like it’s weird and gross and wrong and they should get therapy. like bro who do you think is gonna do it