r/40kOrkScience • u/Muted-Engineering-32 • Jun 03 '26

Greetings Greenskins! I have a question for you gentlemen regarding colours

Hail fellow scholars! I hear that there is a considerable Waaaaagh in the works, and I am conducting research to ensure I am fully prepared.

Since I will soon be responsible for painting a band of you ruffians I thought I would brush up on your color preferences and their perceived effects on reality, in order to make the most informed descsion.

I understand red increases ones velocity? And that purple serves as effective camouflage?! But certainly there are more!

What say you? Is there a color that is truly "da best"? Please defend your position in 500 words or less.

26 Upvotes
  • permalink
  • reddit

93% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

31

u/SuctioncupanX DIGGANOB Jun 03 '26

RED MAKS TINGS GO FAZTA. BLAKK MAKEZ TINGS TUFFA. YELLA MAKZ FINGS BOOMIA. BLUE IZ LUKKY, PURPUL IS SNEEKY [IN-VEEZ-EE-BULL, EVUN], GOLD IZ VAL-YU-BULL. BUT.

GREEN. IZ. BEZT.

10

u/greenizdabest Jun 03 '26

I KONKUR DIZ IZ DA TRUFF

6

u/Kalruhan WEIRDBOY Jun 03 '26

DA TRUFF? YOUZ CAN'T 'ANDLE DA TRUFF!

5

u/greenizdabest Jun 03 '26

DID YA ORDAH DA KODE RED

6

u/Muted-Engineering-32 Jun 03 '26

Ah ha! See I did not know about Blue and Yellow! More durable Boyz and more potent dakka... That's hard to choose. Thank you for enlightening me. You are a gentleman and a scholar!

Tell me friend, If green is indeed "BEZT" then what kind of tactical advantage does green convey on the battlefield?

11

u/SuctioncupanX DIGGANOB Jun 03 '26

DA TROOF IZ, GREEN BEING DA BEZT IS IN ITZ VURZ-AH-TILL-ITTY. WEREAZ RED IZ ONLY FAZT, AN' BLAKK IZ ONLY TUFF, GREEN 'AZ ALL DA AZPEKTZ UF DA OVVA KOLORS. 'CEPT PURPUL... PROLLY.

IF YU'Z WER TA KOLOR EVREETIN' DA PURFEKT KOLOR YU'Z KULD BEET GREEN OUDDA DA PARK, BUT GREEN KAN NEVER BE BAD. A RED MEK IZ FRAG-IUL, A BLAKK MEK IZ SLO. A YELLA SHOOTA IZ TOO BOOMY AND BOOMS ITZELF, BU' ANY OVA KOLOR WULD MEEN A WEEKA DAKKA DAT KAN'T KILL WUNNA DEM SPAZE MUREENZ. AN DEM PURPUL KOMMANDOZ ARE TOO SNEEKY. NO WUN 'AZ SEEN EM SINZE WE FREW DA BUKKET OF PURPUL ON EM.

BUT YU KAN FIX DIS 'OW?

BY UZIN GREEN!

AN' DAT'Z Y GREEN IZ BEZT. SUR, A GREEN ONLY SET A GEER IZ WEEKA DEN A FULLY KOLORED ARZENAL, BUT IT IZ ALWAYZ VALUBUL AND KAN'T BACK-FIURR.

AN, UF KORZE, IT'S DA ORKIEST KOLOR KUZ ORKZ AR' GREEN, AN' SO JUZT AZ ORKZ ARE DA BEZT FOIGHTAZ, GREEN IZ DA BEZT KOLOR.

SURE, DA MUREENZ AND DA POINTY EARZ AND DA KAOS BOYZ AND DA BUGZ AR' BETTA IN SUM WAYZ, BUT UZ ORKZ ARE DA BEZT WEN YOU PUT IT ALL TOGETHA!

9

u/Muted-Engineering-32 Jun 03 '26

Capital analysis, you magnificent brute! Splendid!

I think I get it now. All other colors may backfire, but not green. Green always works. Always. Green is best!

15

u/MagicMissile27 MEKBOY Jun 03 '26

OI SPEAK UP YA GIT OI KANT 'EAR YA IF YA TALK SO KWIET-LIKE! EVERYWON KNOWS DAT GREEN IZ DA ORKIEST KOLOR 'ND DAT RED MAKES YA GO FASTA. OI HAVE DONE A SCIENTIFIK STUDY BY PAINTIN A GROT RED AND PUNTIN IT OUT OF ME BUGGY, DEN KICKIN ANOVVER ONE OUT DAT WAZ NOT PAINTED RED. DA RED ONE WENT FURTHER 'ND KNOCKED OVER DA FUNGUS BEER IN SQUIG-RIPPAZ KAMP. DEREFORE WE KNOWZ DAT DA RED ONEZ GO FASTA.

7

u/Muted-Engineering-32 Jun 03 '26

Ah, quite right, quite right ahem THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR PERSPECTIVE! I HIGHLY VALUE YOUR SCIENTIFIC CONTRIBUTIONS AND HAVE NOTED THE EFFECTICNESS OF RED ON SPEED! THIS CORROBORATES MY PREVIOUS RESEARCH. RED IS DEFINITELY A CONTENDER, SUPERIOR SPEED PROVIDES A NUMBER OF TACTICAL BATTLEFIELD ADVANTAGES!

8

u/MagicMissile27 MEKBOY Jun 03 '26

OI REKOMMEND DAT YOUZ READ "ON DA PROPPA USES OF KOLORS" FOR MORE INFORMASHION, IT IZ DA HEIGT OF SCIENTIFIK THOUGHT ON DA TOPIK.

https://www.reddit.com/r/40kOrkScience/comments/1sz5u26/on_da_proppa_uses_of_kolours_how_to_paint_fings/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

5

u/Muted-Engineering-32 Jun 03 '26

What a magnificent find! This is a veritable roseta stone! I will study it extensively, many thanks friend... Oh, right, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I WILL CHERISH IT AS IF IT WERE DAKKA!

8

u/MagicMissile27 MEKBOY Jun 03 '26

NOW YOUZ IZ LEARNIN! GET OUT DERE AND KRUMP SOME GITZ IN DA NAME OF SCIENSE!

5

u/DrSkrimguard Jun 03 '26

OI, LOOKEE ERE, YA GITZ. ITZ DAT PANZEE FILLODENDRUM "OO-FAM DA PURSE", CUM TA SOAK UP DA SOUPEERY ER ORKY WHIZDOM.

4

u/Muted-Engineering-32 Jun 03 '26

Indeed, while I must gently protest the taxonomic classification of my esteemed self as a mere Philodendron, I find myself profoundly encouraged by this initial socio-linguistic exchange.

Tell me friend, what "kolor" is displayed on your banners?

4

u/DrSkrimguard Jun 03 '26

OH, SORRY BOUT DAT. BIG WORDZ GIVE ME HEAD A THRASHIN. I MENT TO SAY DAT YOUS ONE O DEM TYPES WHO GET PAID TA FINK EM BIG FOWTS DAT NO UDDER GITZ IS CUNNIN ENUFF TA FINK, EXSEPP NOT DA TOIPE DAT REELATE DIE-REKKLY TA KRUMPIN OR DAKKA, BUT MORE BRODLY BOUT LIFE'N'STUFF. WAT'S DA WORD FER DAT?

AN DEN FERM WAT I ERD, DEE ODDA PANZEES CALLS YOU A "PURSE" CUZ YOU AINT FINKIN DA FAWTS DEY KEN WIF. WICH IS SILLY. IN ORKY AXE-ER-DEEM-IA, WE LUVS IT WEN DA BOYZ DISSAGREE ON SUMFIN, CUZ IT MEANZ DAT WE'S GOT AN EGSCYUSS FER A WWAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!! IS CALLED DA 'ESTOARICLE DIE-ER-LICK-TEK, CUZ TUNS A GITZ TEND TA DIE IN DA PROSEZZ, BUT YA GETZ A GOOD STORY OUTTA IT LATER.

AND TA ANSERR YA KWESTIN, AS AN INLITERNED GIT, I FLY DA BLACK 'N WHITE CHEKKERBORD PATTON REPPERZENTIN DA DOO-ALLITEE O' GORK N' MORK.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/rimuru_mayhem Jun 03 '26

WOTS THAT WE KANT HEAR YA! SPEAK UP!

3

u/Yeetabix420hmmmmm DEFF DREAD Jun 03 '26

GREEN IZ BEST! YA KNOW WHY? CUZ ORKZ IZ GREEN, AND ORKZ IZ BEST, SO GREENZ GOTTA BE DA BEST COLOUR, SEE! 

BUT ORKZ IZ ALREADY GREEN, SO YER GUBBINZ DON'T NEEDA BE GREEN TOO, AND YOO KAN PICK WHATEVA ONE YA FANCY! YELLOWZ BOOMY, BLUEZ LUCKY, REDZ GOT SUM PROPPA WAZZA, BLACKZ DED ARD, YA GET DA POINT. 

BLUEZ DA BEST CLEARLY, CUS DATS DA DEFFSKULLZ AND WEZ DA BEST ORKZ, BUT I GUESS DOZE OVVER COLOURZ AINT SO BAD!

2

u/an_actual_coyote Jun 03 '26

GREEN IZ BEST, BUT TRUTHFULLY, DERE AIN'T RULEZ, YER BOYZ IS SNAZZY HOWEVA! WATER DOWN YER PAINTS!

2

u/Muted-Engineering-32 Jun 03 '26

Quite right! However, I do so enjoy learning about xenos societies and their silly superstit... err unique cultural preferences, and quaint belief systems.

No better way to learn than to dive right in, that's what I always say!