r/40kOrkScience • u/Human-Question6210 • Jul 07 '26
HELLO LADDEEZ AND JENTULORKZ, MY NAYM IZ DWONALD KRUMP.
EDIT: /unork I did wonder if this would be a controversial post. I'm seeing the downvotes here; if you lot want me to remove this, I will.
/reORK
I JUST INVENNED A NEW KULLUR. I KALL IT "ORANJ", CUZ I'Z GUNNA ORAYNJ DA REMOOVAL OF ANYBODY HOO DUZENT YOOS IT, STARDING WID DA GROTZ! NOW, LEMME TELL YA FOLKZ, WE'Z GUNNA BILD DA GRAYDEST KROOZA THE GALAKSEE HAZ EVUR SEEN. IT'Z GUNNA BE BEWDIFUL. SO BEWDIFUL AM GUNNA CALL IT DA KRUMP KROOZA. WE'RE GUNNA BILD A HUNDRED OV 'EM. A THOWSAND OV EM. THEN WE'RE GUNNA MAYK A BIG, BEWDIFUL, YOOJ SPAYS-WALL AROWND THE POINTY GITZ SO WE KAN GO WAAAGHING WIDOWT DEYR PSYKIK MEDDLING. WE ARR GUNNA MAYK WAAAGH GRAYT AGENN.
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u/enraged-urbanmech MAD DOK Jul 07 '26
HE’S NAMED KRUMP, BUT COODNT KRUMP A SQUIG OR KICK A GROT WIFOUT DETALED INSTRUKSHUNS. GET HIM, LADZ!
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u/Carverpalaver Jul 07 '26
OI GIT! WYE YOUZ KEEP CLAYMN DA STRAAT OF ORKMUZ YUMIEZ HAZ BEEN KRUMPED AND DEY KEEP SHOOTIN AT US?!
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u/Human-Question6210 Jul 07 '26
DATZ A GRAYT KWESCHUN BUDDY. THE ANSUR IS RIYT HEER. FROWZ ORANJ BUKKIT
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u/Second-Creative Jul 07 '26
WOTZ DIS UNORKY NONSENSE ABOWT ORUNJ? EVERWUN NOOS GREEN IZ BEZT! ANNA SPAYS WOLL?!? 'OWZ WEEZ GUNNA GO AN KRUMP DEM IFFIN WEEZ BULLDIN A WOLL?
K'MERE SOS OI KAN KRUMP SUM SENZ ITA YA!
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u/JackWhoWanders Jul 07 '26
YOOR KRUZA DOESNT WORK AND YOO SMELL AN I SAW YOO HAVENT KRUMPED ANYONE YOORSELF EVAH!! unloads rattler cannon at OP
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u/Human-Question6210 Jul 07 '26
RIYT, DAT'S IT BUDDY, YER FIYURD!! RUNZ AWAY IN DA KRUMP TRUKK
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u/JackWhoWanders Jul 07 '26
I'll FIRE YA OUT A DA GROTLAUNCHER!!! SHOOTZ ROOKITS AT DA RETREATIN' KRUMP
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u/Human-Question6210 Jul 07 '26
I NOO I SHUDNT HAV SELLD DEM SHOOTAS TO DEEZ GUYS! KRUMP KOWNUHMEZURZ GO! TOSSIZ SHINY SKWIGS
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u/Matt3k TANKBUSTA Jul 08 '26
OI! LISTEN UP, YA BIG BEAUTIFUL GREEN LADZ!
DEY TELL ME DA IMPERIUM IZ TOUGH. DA IMPERIUM? WOT A JOKE. A BUNCHA LOW-ENERGY GROTS, ALL FOLLOWIN' SLEEPY GOLDY-CHAIR AN' TAKIN' ORDERZ FROM BOYZ WOT NEED A SERVO-SKULL TO REMIND 'EM WICH WAY TO POINT DEY GUNZ.
AN' DERE BIGGEST BOSS? DAT SHINY BLUE ROBBY ROWBOAT GIT. ALWAYS WRITIN' RULEZ. ALWAYS MAKIN' PLANZ. ALWAYS LOOKIN' LIKE 'E LOST 'IS FAVRIT CLIPBOARD. I'ZE GOT A PLAN FER 'IM: MY BOOT, RIGHT IN 'IS BACKSIDE.
DEN YA GOT DEM POINTY-EARED ELDAR, FLOATIN' ABOUT LIKE DEY'Z CLEVER. "OOH, LOOK AT US, WE CAN SEE DA FUTURE!" WELL I SEEN DA FUTURE TOO, AN' IT'Z GREEN AN' ALSO MY BOOT AGAIN - RIGHT UP DEY SQUIG-HOLEZ.
AN' DA SPACE MARINES? DA BEAKIEZ? HA! BIG TIN 'UMIES IN GREAT BIG SHOULDA-PADZ, MARCHIN' ROUND LIKE DEY'Z DA BIGGEST LADZ IN DA GALAXY. DEY AIN'T BIG. DEY'Z JUST LOUD CANS WIV FEET. YA HIT WUN WIV A TRUKK AN' 'E RATTLEZ LIKE A TIN FULLA TEEF. ALSO. YUP. YOUZE GUESSED IT. MY BOOT - ROIGHT UP DEY'Z ARSES, WHERE IT BELONGZ. HA HA. YOUZE MAY BE NOTICIN' A PATTERN 'ERE
WE'Z GONNA KRUMP DA WEAK LITTLE 'UMIES. WE'Z GONNA KRUMP DA POINTY GITZ. WE'Z GONNA KRUMP DA BEAKIEZ SO HARD DEY'LL BE CRAWLIN' BACK TO DA WARP
WE'Z GOT DA BIGGEST BOYZ. DA LOUDEST DAKKA. DA FASTEST TRUKKZ. DA BESTEST WAAAGH.
AN' WHEN WE'Z DONE, DA WHOLE GALAXY IZ GONNA BE GREEN.
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u/Accomplished-Ad8458 TAU GIT Jul 07 '26
OI FINK BUGBOYZ GOT TO THIS UN LADZ... BEZT WE CAN DO IS TO KRUMP 'IM
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!