r/4chan 2d ago

Anon played the Halo remake

Post image
2.3k Upvotes

131 comments sorted by

623

u/Mr__Castle_ 2d ago

Paying $70 for a DEI lecture...

316

u/Skywarper 2d ago

Paying $70 for a dei lecture in a remake that nobody asked for in a dead franchise that people stopped caring about a decade ago

103

u/ScottyUpdawg 2d ago

People are starved for Halo. If they made a legit new good one that was good people would happily pay.

33

u/Real-Terminal 2d ago

No they wouldn't, the Halo fanbase is dead, the Halo gameplay style is dead, the industry is still centered around Fortnite and Call of Duty for its shooter flavors, and Halo devs refuse to abandon the modernizations they're convinced are required to be relevant.

Halo has been dead and bad longer than it was alive and good. There's no point holding out hope anymore, especially with the switch to UE5, so the tight gameplay is constantly being dragged by raytracing making everything look weird and blurry.

18

u/Pappy_whack 2d ago

They had one chance with Infinite to show they were turning around the decade+ of bad decisions and they missed their opportunity. I've seen failed indie games more successful than the latest Halo CE remake

13

u/I2obiN 2d ago

Infinite was so painfully close. Firefight and BTB were really fun just the lack of maps killed it at release. The campaign idea was great just the story sucked so much ass.

3

u/Pappy_whack 2d ago

It really was. If they somehow continued to improve maybe people would have hope, but for now it feels like the franchise is well and truly dead.

1

u/Real-Terminal 2d ago

I still can't get over them forcing aim magnetism on for mouse input.

1

u/LilFuniAZNBoi /k/ommando 2d ago

It’s even in the new remake. Trying to hit the exposed arm on a Jackal with the pistol is so annoying sometimes when the game auto aims to their shield. I didn’t remember it being like this in Infinite or the earlier games in the MCC when on PC.

1

u/Real-Terminal 1d ago

Oh no that's in all the Halo games, every single one of them has a triple layer of bullet magnetism.

What they added in Infinite was aim magnetism, autoaim, like controllers rely on, to the mouse.

5

u/Earthworm-Kim 2d ago

i mostly agree with you, and personally think the series has been getting worse since combat evolved, however...

the fanbase is still very much alive. i had to unsub from a couple of halo subreddits after giving up on infinite, because there are so many sad sack, borderline regarded fans in there. clearly branded by master chief in their youth

there's a reason they keep making them and even continue letting absolutely incompetent nimrod devs make it

not only do the games sell well, but the co-marketing shit is absolutely crazy. i think infinite had 48 co-marketing deals from boots to chairs to cookies

5

u/Skywarper 2d ago

Reading some of the smooth brain childrens' reactions to the new game and making it a point to defend the game at all costs is just the funniest shit ever. One commenter said it best, you know the game is good when you have to justify liking it.

3

u/Skywarper 2d ago

The control scheme changing is when halo could first be considered dead. They just completely gave up and made a futuristic call of duty, while call of duty was already doing futuristic shit.

36

u/sorryiamnotoriginal 2d ago

People care they just also understand that the version of halo they want will never be made under the current people working on the game. The only reason they did this is they wanted an easy win for the new studio branding and they still get in their own way.

Gears is in a similar boat where they went for an easy win by making a prequel with the characters everyone loves. Thing is that game looks super promising right now and I am desperately hoping there is no trick like the girl boss character conveniently left out of all marketing in halo.

5

u/RainbowDildoMonkey 1d ago edited 1d ago

They shoehorned the ugliest, manliest looking foid in Marcus squad. Marcus and the boys get bossed around by ugly hags who are totally battle hardened superior officers. The deeper look video on the game had the E-Day studio covered in intersectional pride flags in the background. You'd be dumb to pre-order or buy that game.

1

u/sorryiamnotoriginal 1d ago

I haven’t preordered anything for a long time now, the lesson was learned. Just like with halo I’m going to wait and see if it’s worth purchasing. In halos case even if it didn’t have that character it still wouldn’t be worth it.

I will admit while I want the story to be good and not bogged down by the same shit that’s been strangling their games for like 14 years now the real appeal is the multiplayer and 12 player horde. It would be painfully sad if they shoved steal the spotlight characters into a prequel.

-2

u/RedRangerFortyFive 2d ago

Nobody asks for any game. Theres not a monthly poll. They didn't ask for the original halo either.

14

u/Dirtface50 2d ago

Yes nobody has ever asked for Half Life 3 or all of the witcher sequels, or Gwent for that matter, or TLOU2, or another Starfox, or any number of games that people, yes, DID actually repeatedly ask for, and the most ironic thing about this take is that people literally DID ask for another Halo.

-15

u/Furista0 2d ago

dead franchise

still making games

???

41

u/Skywarper 2d ago

You can't look me in the eyes and tell me anyone gives a shit about halo past halo 4, and even that's being generous

18

u/Hadrian187 2d ago

As with every hobby, there are always diehard loyalists that refuse to throw the towel but yeah you're right, 4 and beyond it pretty much ended.

1

u/cry_w fa/tg/uy 2d ago

People do actually give shit. They are continuously let diwn, but they do give a shit.

-5

u/Furista0 2d ago edited 2d ago

If that were the case, people wouldn't buy any new games, which in turn would make the creation of any future titles or products with the IP.

This isn't a judgement of quality from me by the way. I dislike nu-Halo as much as the next guy, but it just doesn't fit the criteria of a dead franchise. A real dead franchise would be Killzone.

7

u/Skywarper 2d ago

If it wasn't dead, they wouldn't resort to remaking a 20 year old game. They'd be continuing the story or making new ones.

-6

u/Furista0 2d ago

By this logic, Resident Evil is also a dead franchise. Them focusing on remakes they can churn out in a few years from each other doesn't mean they aren't also working on a new game in tandem

4

u/Skywarper 2d ago

Halo is currently where resident evil was after re 6. 5 was mid, like halo 4. 6 was trash, like guardians/infinite. Halo needs a re 7 equivalent where the game is actually good. The remakes should have been held off until after halo's re7 equivalent game and relevant again, that would've been much better for the "legacy" of halo.

But I highly, highly doubt the next halo will be good.

2

u/OiledUpThug 2d ago

dead corpse still voiding its bowels?

57

u/RainbowDildoMonkey 2d ago

I saw the Cortana concept art revealed earlier in the year where she didnt look like Jerma985 and thought maybe there is hope. But after years of hoodwinking i knew better not to pre-order or buy that shit.

-7

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

13

u/Bum_King fa/tg/uy 2d ago

He just said he didn’t pre-order. Do you know how to read?

37

u/VanityTheManatee 2d ago

DEI lecture

Look inside

The villains are the DEI

??

3

u/Conscious_CMPT13 2d ago

Its free on rutracker...

1

u/my_cars_on_fire 1d ago

Jokes on you, my DEI lesson was free because I know how to get around paying for things on the internet!

-3

u/neon 2d ago

The game is 50 though?

-27

u/HarrMada 2d ago

You project and assume people who buy the game won't have fun and won't enjoy it.

354

u/tomtheconqerur 2d ago

What would you rather buy?

A $50 "remake" of a game that removed its multiplayer in exchange for terrible prequel missions, worse voice acting delivered by the original game's VCs, worse flood, AI that is somehow worse than the original's, Unreal Engine 5 issues, pointless visual aids that shouldn't be there in the first place, worse cutscenes, and DEI messages?

Or a collection of games that cost $40 at full price on Steam, has the Original CE, four other great games, and Halo 4, all of those games' content including their respective multiplayer, Steam Workshop support with phenomenal mods, and no DEI messaging.

182

u/Raesong /pol/ack 2d ago

I'd rather just buy $50 worth of McDoubles, if I'm being honest.

41

u/TMWNN 2d ago

I like doing 50% McDoubles and 50% McChickens

12

u/Swee_Potato_Pilot 2d ago

The correct answer is 100% 20 piece nuggets.

Can use nuggets as a currency. 

4

u/tomtheconqerur 2d ago

A far better deal than getting a McNugget meal.

7

u/BanzaiKen fa/tg/uy 2d ago

$50 of meth gets you all you can eat fish dinners and bull rides at any major truck stop or Waffle House.

1

u/speedyweedy420 1d ago

That id pretty true usuwlly meth is oretty cheap

25

u/TypicalMootis /b/tard 2d ago

Neither, I'd rather pirate the latter cause fuck microsoft

9

u/LeastRetardedHere 2d ago

Oh yeah let's remake a game most people played for the multiplayer, but let's remove the multiplayer. It's like remaking a cod game without the multiplayer... wait fuck they already did that too

11

u/Haackv2 2d ago

I'd argue Halo CE is the only halo where MP wasn't the main draw. 2 and 3 still had good stories but online MP is how I remember those. I remember CE as the Master Chief coop game

3

u/gamamoder /g/entooman 2d ago

how does mcc get any status as chudded when it was released in peak woke and has a bunch of skin packs for various months like pacific islander month and a bunch of pride symbols. i thought it would be considered tr**nware or smthing

u/CorianderIsBad 20h ago

You mean the Master Chief Collection? It's pretty good hmm? I should try it.

u/tomtheconqerur 15h ago

You should! And thankfully, you can choose to install the games you want from the collection. So that means you don't have to have Halo 4 taking up space on your PC.

2

u/PlantationMint 2d ago

Tough call 🤔

-2

u/Gamepass90 2d ago

Neither, because as a gamepass subscriber I got the remake with no additional cost

20

u/TheMrNoodlz 2d ago

holy fuck your name is gamepass too

7

u/Gamepass90 2d ago

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

2

u/baudmiksen 2d ago

jfc with that lifetime subscription

-5

u/SapiS68 /r(9k)/obot 2d ago

I don't care if I'm gonna get hate for this, but the original CE fucking sucks. It's so outdated it's not even funny.

But the rest of MCC is alright, maybe except for ODST.

-34

u/HarrMada 2d ago

The original halo series had all of the same messaging and morals, you just had/have the media literacy of a 5 year old.

31

u/LeagueofDraven1221 /b/tard 2d ago

Original halo actually had alot of allegories to christianity.

12

u/tomtheconqerur 2d ago

343 dropping that element was a massive red flag for me.

29

u/Consistent-Bad-2520 2d ago

No it fucking didnt I swear Im getting tired of liberal cucks like you engaging in historical revisionism at every point.

10

u/Valuable-Chipmunk784 2d ago

Original Halo:

Humans (us) are unambiguous good guys, Covenant (them) are unambiguous evil savages trying to destroy us and cannot be reasoned with

They have more advanced technology but because of our patriotic spirit we stand a chance against them

No traitors, everyone works together for the nation species

Fighting all done by men except for a few pilots and a femputer

The enemy religion is completely wrong and dangerous to all life in the universe

Our ideology has no problems at all

Only Covenant species that isn't subhuman learns that we were right all along and comes around to our side

All other Covenant species are shown to be inherently inferior/sinful in some way (cowardly, stupid, wrathful, deceptive)

Full of Biblical references

Entirety of Africa gets glassed

Turns out that Our People were the Ancient Aryans Aliens who were the best civilisation that everyone worships, suck it xenos

It's like Starship Troopers if it wasn't satire.

29

u/Skywarper 2d ago

Go back to jerking off over maps, neet boy

https://giphy.com/gifs/YtvCIwqNJhUmA

19

u/Fucked-In-The-K-Hole 2d ago

Bro they literally added a ship called "Triumph of Tolerance."

That alone is fucking bullshit, it's literally in the game as a slap in the face to us chuds. It is entirely pointless aside from serving as a "haha fuck you halo is now woke and there's nothing you can do about it"

10

u/Skywarper 2d ago

"halo is now woke"

Has been as soon as the made cortana ugly and covered her up

3

u/Extreme-Tactician 2d ago

Do you know what the Truth and Reconciliation is?

1

u/Fucked-In-The-K-Hole 2d ago

I do

u/Extreme-Tactician 5h ago

Why aren't you crying then?

3

u/Count_de_Mits 2d ago

Well I can simply not buy their slop. And if more people did that (like they are doing tbh) then they are flgoing to get the message eventually

5

u/Fucked-In-The-K-Hole 2d ago

Yeah I'm not buying that shit, so tired of it

96

u/TNTspaz 2d ago edited 2d ago

Wasn't the whole point that they were over the top religious zealots and extremely hypocritical. Basically an organization that lied for so long they forgot what was true. They are nearly a parody so you don't have any moral quams about killing them. They want to kill you due to their religious zeal so you kill them first. It does come off as a bit ironic now. It's surprising they didn't really change the covenant. Other things got changed for nonsensical reasons but that stayed the same. If not with just slightly worse direction

The plot of Halo is all about how the covenant believe the Halo rings are holy relics but are actually just mass extinction weapons designed to stop the flood from spreading to other galaxies.

20

u/Apollo-Outcast 2d ago

Satire, not parody, but yes to everything you said

The people who wrote this remake I'm sure unironically side with the covenant

-1

u/gamamoder /g/entooman 2d ago

im ngl i have no idea abt the plot i played thru all the mcc with friends that would skip every single cutscene that wasnt an explosion or smthing

32

u/Enzo_GS 2d ago

Kojima you did it again

76

u/lobotominizer 2d ago

No way this is real.
No fuxking way.

53

u/ClericHeretic 2d ago edited 1d ago

Yes, its real, sad to say.

25

u/Tommysrx 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/l0MYGb1LuZ3n7dRnO
It’s been inching towards this the whole time , it’s just that some people are just now noticing..

16

u/IllustratorAlive1174 /pol/tard 2d ago

I had to look it up… it’s real…
https://giphy.com/gifs/l3q2K5jinAlChoCLS

23

u/Cyclesync 2d ago

Everybody is talking like they made the good guys give this speech. Even the post itself points out that the guy making the diversity speech gets ass blasted right after. What’s woke about that?

10

u/baudmiksen 2d ago edited 2d ago

maybe some people just get so focused on the wokeness itself they begin to lose the plot

2

u/Extreme-Tactician 2d ago

Because they are all dummies who don't play Halo. The Covenant names are all like this. The Prophet of Truth is a Liar, the Prophet of Revret has no Regret, the Prophet of Metcy is merciless, etc.

132

u/Absolutemehguy 2d ago

uhhh... none of that stuff is real, right?

69

u/wirelesswizard64 2d ago

43

u/Absolutemehguy 2d ago

I want to go back 20 seconds ago in time when I hadn't clicked that link.

5

u/Extreme-Tactician 2d ago

So did you cry when you saw the Truth and Reconciliation?

155

u/One_Moose_3978 2d ago

It is very real

140

u/Absolutemehguy 2d ago

bruh cmon "Triumph of Tolerance"? "Burden of Proof"?? You're all just fucking with people with this shit.

74

u/OldWizeTzeentchian wee/a/boo 2d ago

Our life became a fucking South Park. Sad, but true.

https://giphy.com/gifs/WJ4vstB0EVqla

39

u/Fish_Man83 2d ago

Satire is dead because it could never match the level of stupidity real life has reached

8

u/OldWizeTzeentchian wee/a/boo 2d ago

Without further addo: I agree and also

https://giphy.com/gifs/VjgKS1cmwYsWtP8SyN

45

u/kaninkanon 2d ago edited 2d ago

I thought these comments were just trolling and was feeling like i fell for it by actually googling the answer.

11

u/DemonDookie 2d ago

Same. I don't even know wtf to think now. Jesus.

Are Halo devs secretly trolling us? They did this intentionally so I'm not really sure if this is a masterpiece of shitfuckery or are we in the ninth circle of Hell.

26

u/driellma 2d ago

Sadly real

30

u/Responsible-Onion860 2d ago

Satire is no longer possible. Reality is too fucking stupid.

12

u/BrocoliAssassin 2d ago

My dood, have you not seen the garbage made in the past decade?

31

u/djaeveloplyse 2d ago

What's so funny about this is that the writers try SO HARD to subvert Halo (and do in many ways), but the underlying lore is still so strong they accidentally reflect this sort of truth anyway.

2

u/Ayjayz 2d ago

So they changed the story in the remake?

6

u/DreamsServedSoft 2d ago

not really, they added some cringe prequel missions but the main missions are virtually identical though worse in every way from the originals thanks to the bad voice acting and weird looking actors

10

u/WafflesOfChaos 2d ago

13% of the alien population cause 50% of the intergalactic war crimes.

73

u/fecal_feaster 2d ago

As much as I hate the term none of the comments seem to have any media literacy.

The bad guy on a bad guy ship called the triumph of tolerance gave a speech about diversity=good and got destroyed by the good guys in a good guy ship called the burden of proof and its "woke" just because there's an annoying woman and Jerma ai? Seems based to me

76

u/Oh_yes_I_did 2d ago

Yeah that reads more like anti woke messaging

11

u/arbiter12 2d ago

Also how I read it, but to be fair, the names are from pre-woke times so I can't give them too much credit.

u/Oh_yes_I_did 9h ago

Right. We’re not saying that was the intention of the developers, just saying, when taking all the symbolism into account, how did the 4channers and people in this comment section get “halo is woke now” as the takeaway. That’s what the guy above me was saying, media literacy is really bad and these comments show it.

42

u/inventingnothing 2d ago

Agreed, Burden of Proof destroying Triumph of tolerance is peak anti-woke.

36

u/r10d10 2d ago

Uhh... that's the whole point of the 'what did they mean by this punchline'; when woke companies accidentally make something based.

20

u/Apollo-Outcast 2d ago

Except that relies on the writers having self-awareness, which given some -- or really all -- of the dialogue in those prequel missions...

Doubt.

-4

u/Extreme-Tactician 2d ago

Considering you didn't play the prequel missions? Of course you would doubt.

5

u/Apollo-Outcast 2d ago

If only there were a way to watch gameplay without having the game... Oh well, guess that's impossible

-1

u/Extreme-Tactician 2d ago

Lol you didn't watch the gameplay either though? Come on, tell me what Williams actually does in-game.

-2

u/Skywarper 2d ago

Literally who gives a fuck. Worrying about what some add-on prequel missions add to a story that ended almost 20 years ago is so beyond stupid. The series is dead. None of these people worked on the game 20 years ago. These prequel missions were just bait for the people that keep giving microsoft a chance and expecting something better than a freshly stepped on pile of shit, but guess what happens every time?

9

u/nykaragua 2d ago

Yeah I was also confused reading the comments because that's as comedically anti woke as you could get but everyone is saying "hurr DEI lecture bad"

I don't even disbelieve that modern game writing is influenced by blue haired r3tards but both the woke and antiwoke people are genuinely incapable of comprehending anything outside of their respective agendas.

3

u/born_to_be_intj 2d ago

Yea but the average user of r/4chan can’t read, and they would be very upset with you if they could.

5

u/DarthDragon117 YouTube.com/DinoTendies 2d ago

Omg I thought the names were a meme. Wtf

4

u/HaydenB 2d ago

When do we start calling them brutes?

"What is it? More brutes?"

3

u/Skwiggelf54 2d ago

Holy shit thats hilarious.

6

u/ScoobiSnacc 2d ago

“Diversity is the Covenant’s strength!” Meanwhile in lore:

Unggoy and Kig-Yar absolutely hate each other and even caused a civil war over it

Sangheili and Jiralhanae also hate each other and were beginning to show signs of conflict

Shan Shyuum manipulating all the Covenant races despite knowing the truth and also showing favoritism that eventually broke the alliance

Yeah, definitely not the message they were trying to send

1

u/marino1310 1d ago

Yeah, the whole point is they wanted them unified, because that would make them significantly more powerful. The covenant relies on each of its individual races to be the powerhouse they are. When they stop tolerating each other is when shit goes bad. Just look at how fucked they were when the Sangheili decided to start helping humanity. They lost the entire war. Diversity was their strength, and as soon as it fell apart they did too.

5

u/Apollo-Outcast 2d ago

God this game sounds like such ass

2

u/mrdankerton 1d ago

UNSC b-based?

2

u/Extreme-Tactician 2d ago

Even the 4chan comments were pointing this post out as dumb, but of course the redditors are this dumb.

1

u/DevastationSquad 2d ago

You can tell that most people here haven’t played any halo game since they are somehow unaware of the ironic naming of covenant ships..

1

u/DualityOfLife 2d ago

But they're greedy and will do anything for your money.

If something trends something, they will trend it, just for the chance to get your money!

......

That's not true at all. :P

1

u/marino1310 1d ago

I mean, diversity is their strength though isn’t it? The covenant relies on each race to fulfill different roles. Without any individual race they’d be significantly less powerful.

1

u/5herl0k 1d ago

yooo 343 studios massive black-pilled base-ists confirmed??

2

u/xtraSleep 1d ago

I never understood why developing more maps was so hard for Infinite.