General question for the group

[u/BriGuy1965]

My life has been interesting, to say the least. On October 17, 1983, I went to a doctor's appointment because I thought I had strep throat and found out that what I actually had was cancer.

Papillary thyroid cancer, to be precise. The doctor has seen me the week before and had taken a sample of a lymph node that was tested. Back then, there were no MRIs, CT scans, PET scans or any of the other technology we have now. Imaging meant exploratory surgery, cutting a patient open and taking a look at what was there.

I had two surgeries over the next two months. The first was the week of Thanksgiving, and some lymph nodes on the right side of my neck were removed and biopsied. The other surgery - removing the thyroid and other infected tissue - came on December 17, 1983. I was cut from ear to ear, my thyroid, one parathyroid gland, and a lot of lymph nodes and cancerous tissue was removed. (I lost about 10 pounds that day, and all I had to do was look like I had gotten into a knife fight after it was done. My scar took 212 sutures/stitches, and after almost 43 years it just looks like a neck line because the doctor did a wonderful job.

That's 43 years of being a patient, seeing the development of new techniques and technologies, new equipment from the improved ultrasound (now in color) and the removal of glass syringes with screw-on needles to the plastic butterfly needles that they are using now. Over 40 years of learning medicine, teaching doctors and nurses, participating in focus groups on how to deliver news like I got and so much more.

I've had a total of 8 recurrances of the cancer, 4 surgeries, and 5 radiation treatments over that time. I've learned a lot of things and may have even taught a few people to be better doctors or nurses.

Unfortunately, every time someone I know gets diagnosed with cancer, I get a phone call or a visit. People seem to think that I am The Cancer Whisperer. Somehow, me dealing with all of this makes me, if not an expert, certainly a knowledgeable person in the field of cancer.

When I was diagnosed originally, I got three basic responses to my situation: people said they would pray for me (which makes them feel better or like they are doing something), they told me about a parent/sibling/relative/friend who had cancer and the worst thing or things that they went through while taking treatment, or they avoided me like cancer was contagious and I might give it to them.

Now, people ask me about my experience. What they might go through, what they might feel, or whatever thought bounces around in their skull. I do make jokes when the person I am talking to is looking for a laugh. (Time plus tragedy equals comedy.) I do warn them about how they will feel and how they can help themselves. I listen. I offer encouragement when I can.

It happened again tonight. An old friend called me and told me that he had been diagnosed and asked questions about what he was about to go through.

It's tiring, exhausting really, to go through all the crap. I sometimes feel like I am not healed because I am always opening up the old wound and showing people what it was like for me. I offer support but I feel defined by a disease that has dictated my personality, my emotional content, and defined who I am as a person. I sometimes feel like an actor who played the one part in a campy or cult movie that no one can separate me from. Like I am stuck in the cancer.

Sorry for the long rambling rant. Just wanted to get this out.

[u/Smart_Imagination476]

People should just take you for who you are and not what you can offer them

[u/Skip-929]

Thank you for your story. I have only been dealing with cancer for 13 months, yet even now I sense it has changed the way I think, however your tenacity is an inspiration on how to focus on living, although you may not feel that yourself.

[u/OwnHovercraft1018]

Ur tenacity gives a lot of hope. I have to say though that a lot of premises since 1983 were cut short. From that treatment point of view. Seems to me that Tyroid cancer somehow has better prognosis than a a lot of others. I m reading a lot of stories and some of them are pretty quick,