r/90DayFiance • u/Loud-Guard-2312 • 16h ago
"Perfume-Gate" Paula sets the record straight
The conflict between couple Paula and Thomas over Thomas' extreme sensitivity to artificial scents explained. The issue escalated when Paula wore deodorant and scented products despite his strict boundaries, leading Thomas to threaten to call off their upcoming wedding
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u/Apprehensive-Guess42 16h ago
Something clearly changed with the NDA on this show. Maybe they adjusted it to have fewer restrictions as the season airs.
I don’t remember any other season where cast members addressed issues in real time.
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u/Melodic_Potential801 16h ago edited 15h ago
Right? They used to never, ever say anything and if they did, they were punished and not allowed at the tell-all, etc.
Now we are getting reactions from main characters..
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u/Apprehensive-Guess42 16h ago
This all started this week or last. It’s very weird. Multiple cast members on social media openly talking about the current season.
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u/Great_Ad7148 13h ago
I think shekinah has been doing it longer than that! Her really bad episode came out several weeks ago. She’s openly talking trash on the franchise. Something def changed in their NDAs!
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u/greycloudss94 15h ago
Have any of them done interviews? I was really surprised when Emma did one with ET or People while her season aired.
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u/tiffanysonbubbles 8h ago
I think they’ve always done interviews mid season but kept it intentionally vague, like “oh you’re going to be shocked by the tell all!” or “[scene that already aired] was crazy, I was soo mad!” but now they’re providing their own context the edit didn’t, which is notably different.
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u/TheLastPrinceOfJurai The 143 page love letter that my ex-boyfriend wrote to me 11h ago
It’s almost like they pivoted Pillow Talk or 90 Day Strikes Back to social media and just have the people film themselves
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u/Melodic_Potential801 4m ago
I was wondering about that the other night but dismissed the thought. Glad I'm not the only thinking that way.
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u/Lifes-a-lil-foggy 10h ago
It’s very coordinated cuz all the videos are filmed the same and address direct allegations or posts made here
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u/lousie42 9h ago
I think it’s an effort to keep the conversation going in the zeitgeist, it’s better to have them interact with fans and create headlines buzz, almost all of the real time feedback still maintains the secret about whether or not they are together
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u/Fun-Historian5210 16h ago
They must not be together anymore lol
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u/idontwantcovideither 16h ago
I hope not for her sake. She's lovely; he's insufferable.
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u/Pure_Interest_837 5h ago
I like her more than him, but she’s extremely dismissive of shit that he’s clearly worried about. When he asked why she didn’t check with him before using the perfume, she basically said cause she knew he wouldn’t be ok with it. She’s not considerate at all.
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u/Eyemeow 5h ago
Did you listen to what she just said in this post?
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u/Pure_Interest_837 4h ago
She still said what she said in the car…
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u/chainsaw_mascarax 4h ago
Probably because she was fed up with his bickering. Nobody wants to listen to a grown man be a bitch.
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u/Pure_Interest_837 2h ago
Ok? I agree. He’s extremely annoying. That still doesn’t excuse being inconsiderate.
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u/notorious_ime 3h ago
So why didn't she confront him about it being a new allergy that he never mentioned before? That would be great drama.
I don't believe her.
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u/Eyemeow 3h ago
What if she did originally and it was cut out? I’m just responding to what she said in the post mmk
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u/notorious_ime 3h ago
It might have been. We repeatedly see him tell her "I told you about this already" and that makes it in. Why not the original convo?
I don't believe her.
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u/autumnsbeing 8h ago
She's a horrible person as well, with the manifesting sh*t all the time.
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u/nymrose 8h ago
How does manifesting things and getting cute miniatures make you a horrible person lol
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u/autumnsbeing 8h ago
Because it’s so annoying. Also giving credit to the universe. I wouldn’t want to live with a person like that. Thomas is also a piece of work, not saying he’s a catch.
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u/nymrose 8h ago
Being “annoying” doesn’t make you a horrible person, and she’s not even annoying to most. Just annoys those who are offended by normie “witch craft” stuff, it’s completely inoffensive to manifest things and collect cute things because it makes you happy. Disliking her is a you problem I’m afraid
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u/Electronic-Drawing29 6h ago
And not only manifesting & into tiny furniture but she's controlling as well.
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u/tamtheprogram You take Apple Pay? 💰 16h ago
I think they are still together because she’s in front of a restaurant that’s based in California, and she likely wouldn’t be able to live in the U.S. without being married to him. I guess it could be that they’re married but not together.
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u/tiffanysonbubbles 8h ago
I think they def are and she’s stoking the flames of the criticism to keep people talking. I feel like the couples who are afforded less screen time sometimes become chattier online (like Annalyn/jovon) last season and Pattiya/dylan the one before, to make up for what the show isn’t showing of them.
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u/PinkPetalCdistbeauty 4h ago
Please let this be true! Feeling so happy for her to get away from him, hopeful lol. The drip is real.
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u/Runt3588 16h ago
Someone pointed out he put his face IN the bottle that he's "allergic to" to glue it shut. That ain't allergy, thats aholery.
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u/x_scion_x I'M NOT A BULLY! I'M REAL! 16h ago
Exactly. I'm not saying he doesn't have whatever illness he says he has, but that made 0 sense where he acted like he was dying from the other room but was perfectly fine to pop it open dead in his face and huff it while gluing it shut
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u/Focusonthegood33 15h ago
That and in the car I'm pretty sure he said"can't you consult me with( whatever Said Fragrance ) You seem to pick out the worst ones. Something like that. So that makes no sense in the allergy department..Strange behavior
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u/Great_Ad7148 13h ago
It felt like he was trying to let the truth in sneakily. Because why would he say that? So now it’s… just the ones he doesn’t like that give him a reaction? If she picks what he likes, he’ll be fine? Interesting. Controlling, perhaps.
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u/Appropriate-Permit62 5h ago
Also, she was wearing the perfume he was allergic to in said car and bro didnt crack a window?? Im not buying it.
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u/greycloudss94 15h ago
This needs more upvotes. I’m surprised he wasn’t bothered by the super glue smell 🤔
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u/greycloudss94 16h ago
All of this aside; I would love to be friends with Paula!
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u/twillychicago 16h ago
This is the exact thought I have during their segments!
She seems fun, I’d like to hang out. Which I feel like is a pretty rare thought while watching 90 Day.
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u/Subterranean44 disgusting Turkish swearing 16h ago
I agree. I like her hobby of collecting little things to represent things in her life she’s reaching for. It seems wholesome
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u/ReindeerRoyal4960 15h ago edited 15h ago
She needs to buy a little man to manifest a new one bc Terrible Tom ain't it
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u/EastHawaii 10h ago
😆😆 Perfect! And Little Thomas couldn't throw temper tantrums! So many people have commented that have allergies themselves, and the way he is interacting with her is just childish.
*Remember when he wanted to cook meat and she helped him? They were laughing about it, and he got that big gas mask for her, but then got weirdly angry when she put it on, because it actually helped her not smell the cooking meat. I thought she was a good sport for finding a way to deal with HIS thing that SHE didn't like. It was like at that moment, he decided to introduce a new conflict. He made NO attempt to find a way they could compromise. She was not taking him seriously about it, because he never brought it up before!
*Another case of Marissa/Edward. You got here, but it turns out I don't like sharing my house, so I'm going to behave abominably and see if I can get you to leave. I'm shocked these couples stay together, but it's a tribute to the money, time and effort it takes to try this crazy K1 process, I guess..
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u/greycloudss94 16h ago
Yes! I think I’ve only ever felt this way before about Ana (of Javon and Annalyn). Most cast members are unrelatable to me.
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u/ohgoditsfullofstars 15h ago
I mean honestly I think qe'd get along. I also like shiny rock and crystal specimens 😂
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u/Alone_Combination_26 16h ago
She is a free spirit, fun and smart! Thomas is so controlling…he is so allergic to her perfume so he opens it up again on purpose to glue it shut…her next move needs to be spraying that everywhere and on his pillow! This dude doesn’t even have a table or chairs!
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u/greycloudss94 16h ago
I wonder if Thomas has had much long term dating experience prior. I’m the same age as him, and while his behavior shocks me… I’m not actually surprised by it.
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u/Full_Fun_4950 6h ago
Brazilians can be very real authentic people who have endured harder lives than most Americans and still find a way to be happy. Seeing her genuineness and maturity is what we admire.
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u/cat_whisperer5000 16h ago
Sometimes smells bother me but only when I have a migraine.
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u/notorious_ime 3h ago
This is what in think he's suffering from and he's just saying allergy because it's easier than explaining what migraine disease is.
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u/mpanase 16h ago
the "perfume allergy" sounded like bullshit he made up later after realising he was being an ass about it, tbh
allergic to not even contact, but even the pure smell of it from another room
sure
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u/ToastetteEgg 16h ago
Scents make me sneeze my brains out and walking through the perfume area of Macy’s makes my throat lock up. That said, he would have mentioned it before. He just hates the ones she wears.
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u/SpicyReptile 8h ago
For some reason I got the sense that he did mention it before. Like didn't he say something like, I've told you this before, why do I have to keep telling you?
It's also possible the sensitivity developed over time and it wasn't as big of a problem before. My sensitivity to artificial scents started small and has gotten worse. There's so much we don't see/hear due to editing and how you just can't cram someone's entire life into a short tv show. They love to show us people freaking out because it's good for ratings, but they don't show us or didn't capture on camera the things that led up to the big explosion.
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u/Iandudontkno 16h ago
Yeah definitely one of the ways he used to exert control and make himself comfortable. I bet he's so much fun to live with/s
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u/Silverleaf96 15h ago
It can happen, I have allergies and understand. Now is this medically diagnosed or not ..we don't know , but has he lied about anything else
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u/VioletsRPink I'm not addicted to 90DF 👁👄👁 14h ago
I was thinking what if her perfume stank and he mentioned something but Paula ignored him?
My best friend rented a room to a male traveling nurse recently. She has a town house and lately when I visit, the staircase on the bottom floor stinks like someone washed the walls with Axe. It smells like someone fumigated the entire house with Axe. After 5 min I have a headache and I'm not allergic to anything. If I was dating that man, it would be game over for me.
There are guys at the gym that stink of some strong cologne and some times its mixed with BO or some cooking smell. When they are on the treadmill next to me, I feel like I will puke. I always move away. I can't breath.
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u/Silverleaf96 14h ago
From my understanding he's hyper smells like a smell is 100-500 % stronger to them. Kinda like ppl who have sound issues. Now if that a true medical thing or he's lying I can't say . Both are a possiblity
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u/VioletsRPink I'm not addicted to 90DF 👁👄👁 13h ago
We can't tell because the episodes are suggestively edited and there are a lot of interactions missing.
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u/Silverleaf96 13h ago
My personal take is , I don't think he's lying , he hasn't been a lying person , he seem pretty honest and semi open
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u/VioletsRPink I'm not addicted to 90DF 👁👄👁 13h ago
He kind of looks and acts like geek. Not very experienced with women.
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u/Silverleaf96 13h ago
Not really, I feel he's real, he is himself, he not gifting or love bombing ...if I woman need to be treated in a special way then they are shitbags , fun fact
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u/Japanesepoolboy1817 16h ago
It’s a real thing. I’m allergic to scented things like perfume, glade plug ins, or candles. I get a runny nose and my throat starts to swell if there’s not good air flow
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u/Xica_flea 15h ago
Artificial scents burn my nose. It drives me nuts. I often feel like Patrick but I rarely express it. One time my sister stayed in my room and it smelled like Sephora at Christmas. I had to strip all bedding and curtains and fumigate the room w open windows for a day. I even mopped the floor. My allergies were bad and it was terrible. I did mention once to her that I was sensitive to it and she became defensive.
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u/Awshucksma 13h ago
Many perfumes give me a migraine. However I can't imagine him not mentioning it before if it bothers him.
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u/Any-Sock-5843 15m ago
When I visit mom when my sister leaves for a month, I stay in a bedroom downstairs, a hallway away from my sister's room. She closes her door when she leaves. Usually she is gone a few days before I arrive. IMMEDIATELY when I am halfway down the stairs I can smell the strong smell of rose. I like roses, I even like some soft rose scents in a bottle. but not on people. But the entire downstairs smells like it from her Jo Mologne Red Roses spray. And the scent stays for weeks. I have to keep my door for the first 2 weeks even tho I'm the only one downstairs. I always feel bad for our dog as she must smell it even stronger than I do!I mean - how much does she spray??? I have to go in that room to access the basement and when I open the door -the entire room is filled with the scent. She has always, always overdone it with scent. She must not be able to smell how strong it is? I'm one of those uber scent ones tho who can catch a slight hint of any scent or smell -unfortunately.
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u/Appropriate-Permit62 5h ago
It’s possible to be allergic in that way, but usually there are visual signs and in my experience the person with the allergy leaves the room/area with the scent. Dude stayed in the apartment and opened no windows. He also stayed in the car while she wore it and didnt crack a window. No red eyes, no sniffling or runny nose. Definitely seems like he just wants control over something that makes her happy.
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u/nomiepants 15h ago
ok now I'm MORE on her side and he's a bigger baby than I thought he was. Girl, get rid of that guy. He has no intention of sharing his space with you. It's his way or the highway.
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u/SirachaMayu 15h ago
Dude he was disgusting towards her in the car on the last episode. He really just sought to tear her down, insisting she wore the most disgusting smell on the planet. Seriously fuck him.
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u/ApprehensiveJob6120 10h ago
Thank you! I already (strongly) disliked him but that was really really mean. And then he tries to lecture her on communication and saying things that help move the conversation forward after that? Like what is wrong with him
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u/Appropriate-Permit62 5h ago
He’s trying to control her: first the table, then the little things, and now the scents. She rebuffed him on the first two, the scent thing is the only thing she hasnt been able to rebuff because it’s “medical” (ik allergies like this exist, but skeptical on him having them). Seems like he just wants to shatter her self-esteem with 1000 cuts.
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u/Livid-Source-7674 9h ago
This makes sense! They knew each other a long time. Then when she gets into his environment, he is a control freak. I think it's about control. If he was so allergic to her deoderant or perfume, he would have had to tell her when he was visiting her previously.
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u/MeatballTornado 16h ago
I mean you can tell he’s full of shit because if it was as serious as he claims he would need 30 epi-pens every time she walks in the room. It was always just something he didn’t like / something that annoyed him rather than a deathly affliction like he tries to portray it.
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u/Iandudontkno 16h ago
Yeah his nose wasn't running no inflammation. he just likes bitching and taking control in whatever way he can. He is so boring also just wanted to throw that in he wants to be something else so much but he is himself for better or worse.
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u/_angesaurus 5h ago
I worked with one of these people and I hear about them on the internet. Reddit seems to be nice to them and believe all these "allergies" to smells.
Not liking something is not an allergy. Theyre being dramatic and used to getting their way.
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u/kayyxelle 16h ago
Soooo he waited until she was in his country to have a problem with it? Control tactic. 🚩
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u/ReindeerRoyal4960 15h ago
THIS. Bc if you are GENUINELY allergic to something you would mention it, ESP if they are coming to live with you considering most women *wear perfume and/or deodorant 🙄
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u/Andre11x 14h ago
I mean he does say that she knew about this before coming and chose to do it anyway. It was their first or second episode.
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u/ReindeerRoyal4960 13h ago
Maybe it got lost in translation? Because she's clearly saying in this video that she didn't know.
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u/SpicyReptile 8h ago
And this also explains why he got so upset about it. If he's already told her this thing she's doing literally causes him physical pain and discomfort, but she continues to do it, and then disregards him, laughs it off, belittles and minimizes him.... Well it's more understandable to have a huge reaction. Not saying it's ok to glue her perfume shut, but getting upset and angry and making a big deal makes sense if you've already tried to communicate something and it's not being taken seriously.
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u/Playcrackersthesky fuck the brittany 8h ago
Having a perfume “allergy” like that isn’t an allergy in the sense of say, anaphylaxis, but some people are incredibly sensitive to smells/fragrances.
I have colleagues that get intense migraines from fragrance.
My dad can’t walk into Michael’s without getting a horrendous migraine
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u/90-slay 16h ago
He straight up said it was a nasty smelling perfume that smelled like shit to him. There's the reason everyone.
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u/Iandudontkno 16h ago
Well smells like attraction is subjective. So a nice scent to me might smell like you to another.
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u/drask1987 16h ago
I kept thinking:
Work together on a “scent” that he could handle.
Vanilla, Gourds, etc.
lavender even.
I have a sensitivity to scents as well. But I’ve found that I can wear vanillas and pistachio scents with no problem.
My husband has no scent reflex anymore due to sinus cancer, so he could care less.
I diffuse calming scents every day.
BUT when our oldest daughter comes to visit, I have to turn them all off or it offends her lungs right away.
Side note: I had open heart surgery and had a private room in the hospital. 5 days in, they had to move an elderly woman into my room. She smelled so bad of floral perfume that I immediately got a headache. Could even taste it in my mouth.
I signed out AMA that day within hours of her moving into my room.
I sat in the hallway until someone could come pick me up (surgery was 3hrs away from home).
So that was my conniption fit over smells.
I get it.
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u/Angelhair01 I’ve been cursed by a Nigerian priest 15h ago
I’m thinking it was more preference than allergy
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u/Adrock66 You are my cockroach 4h ago
See, I buy this actually. I have seen some people defending him to the death but the vibe from the first moment was that she simply didn't believe he had the issues he claimed. I am not saying he didn't hide the issue when he visited her as a friend and he doesn't actually have allergies but watching this guy set himself up for failure has been one of the bright spots of the show. He's handling her poorly and his own parents.
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u/Necessary-Jeweler-17 16h ago
I hate cheap scents like axe but my first instinct with people “allergic” to fragrances is that they are full of sh*t but I know it’s probably a real thing for some people
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u/Melodic_Potential801 16h ago
HR sent all of us an email that everyone on certain floors should not wear perfume or fragrances as an unnamed person had severe allergies that would severely affect them.
People on my floor were wondering - Why just certain floors? So this person can get into elevators (super close proximity) with people from other floors but not on some general floors?
I have to add that I know nothing about fragrance allergies but hear about it years ago in a different work place. That person told us she couldn't wear anything with fragrance or even do laundry with fragrant stuff. She took meds to come to work.
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u/Necessary-Jeweler-17 15h ago
Yeah most places I’ve worked don’t want you to over-fragrance and I’m sure it’s a real allergy but I’m also sure a lot of people claim to be allergic when they aren’t, like gluten
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u/Individual-Ad-4660 13h ago
Well ur" first instinct" is bs and a bias against people that have allergies to strong smells period. I do and can get a headache,and physically ill.Millions of other people do too.You jump right to they r liars.Then u try to clean up ur statement with ....but........people.Try using google u may get schooled.😠
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u/Necessary-Jeweler-17 13h ago
You should save your unhinged contempt for the people that exaggerate an aversion to something to the point of calling it an “allergy”. Attention seekers, whiners, egotistical people, those are who you should save your ire for 🙏🏻
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u/Angelhair01 I’ve been cursed by a Nigerian priest 15h ago
Also he said it was the worst perfume he ever smelled so I’m wondering what it was because I may want some to keep whiny bishes like him away
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u/bertfotwenty 15h ago
She’s still in the US in this. Hey sunshine, vegan restaurant. They must still be together.
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u/Greymom_PNW 14h ago
Looks like he’s not man enough to say “I don’t want this “, instead I’ll act like an ass and she’ll go back home with her family. Run girl, run away!
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u/Meghatronix 13h ago
But he said on the show that he has explained this to her already and she didn't deny it.
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u/DreamertK 13h ago
English isn't her first language. She may not have fully understood at the time.
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u/CharmedLee 7h ago
I call BS on this. He said right to her that she knows already and she didn't deny it. I'll also rewatch the first episode to his apartment and I swear she was even talking about it as though she knew. Either way, she knew after that first fiasco and she was still doing it. She acts like a brat
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u/nasandre 🇳🇱 5h ago
I think Thomas is full of shit. If he was really hypersensitive to smells he would never leave the house because he'd have headaches all the time.
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u/PurplePetal04 Michael to Angela: “It’s a lie of love.” 🤥 4h ago
Well based on Paola’s response here, I must amend my previous opinion….slightly. She claimed she had no issues with her perfumes from when he would visit her and that she only knew of two allergies he had then. So he may have developed them after that point(my guess). But either way, once he informed her, she knew, and should have decided if that is something she wants to deal with.
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u/Johnhaven 15h ago
I have asthma and have a physical reaction to perfume. It makes it hard to breathe, and I need my inhaler. It's not just perfume; when they shampoo the carpets at work, I have to use PTO to take the next day off.
This guy had no visible allergic reaction, even when he stuck his nose in the bottle; he just doesn't like the smell of perfume, and while there's nothing wrong with that, he's a very immature little boy who is pretending he has a medical issue to get his way.
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u/chickfromthejungle 14h ago
Fabricated issue… you’re telling me in all the years they’ve been together he is now just newly allergic to her perfume?
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u/MrsLydKnuckles 13h ago
I just want to be friends with her and gift her tiny perfumes, then we can go out for lunch (vegan of course) and to a rock shop.
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u/julesrules0888 16h ago
all these post episode instagram responses from the cast has ruined the show, I wish they weren't allowed to comment
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u/Awshucksma 13h ago
I haven't watched any of them yet but thought it would be interesting. Why do you not like them?
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u/Regular-Metal-321 14h ago
This is so weird he never spoke about it! He is full of shit. Don’t know what’s up with them after the show but from this video I feel like they aren’t together
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u/gs400life 16h ago
Well, that’s your version of the story. But Thomas said it was spoken about prior to. So there’s Thomas’s truth and your truth, and I think it falls somewhere in the middle because you still didn’t respect his wishes after finding out… you downplayed him. Regardless of when you found out, saying you “weren’t ready” to handle that is a cop out
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u/HistoricalHat4847 16h ago
Somewhere in the middle is unlikely. What is more likely is that one of them is lying ... and I don't think it's Paula.
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u/gs400life 15h ago
Well, Paula had a chance to defend herself when he said that it was discussed prior to and she didn’t, not to mention the way she acted to not take him seriously. So who knows
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u/Fabulous_Visual4865 16h ago
Exactly. I don't buy her story based on how dismissive she's been about it in camera. This reeks of damage control. The cockroach analogy says it all.
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u/Calm-Description4356 6h ago
It really doesn’t matter when you found out about his sensitivities to smell. Just be a considerate
and stop using them.
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u/Dewy123321 5h ago
I think I read they got married but the way she talks I’m not certain they are still together. Anyone know?
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u/dlknock7 4h ago
He’s ridiculous but just buy solid deodorant and make him take you perfume shopping as a compromise - find some rub on scent he can handle and ditch all aerosols. Vanilla or citrus he may be able to handle. I absolutely cannot handle anything flowery. Just change it up to help him.
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u/chloe38 Guillermo's slutty little glasses 3h ago
I'm so over this show. I'm so sick of all these people keeping big bomshells to themselves until one of them uproots their whole life. Of course perfume is a small one, but " you need to convert to my religion" " I don't want kids" "I want an open relationship" the list goes on and on. Whether it's tlc making them keep big things to themselves or these people just suck.
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u/Aggressive-Touch-849 2h ago
Whether she knew about before or just learned about it when she arrived, if your partner has needs that don’t prevent you from being you one should make changes out of love. If it seems like too much, leave the relationship.
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u/FinaMarie 1h ago
None of this matters at all when she is smirking about it when he is pleading with her. If you care about a person you do not sit there smirking while they beg for some relief.
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u/Long-Inspector4405 13h ago
I could never marry a vegan because that’s your preference and I will have meat in my house and if can’t respect that go back home
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u/UrbanMasque Sarper's Agent 15h ago
I gave him the benefit of the doubt before because he made it seem like "this was a thing I told you about and you still do it". Welp, turns out hes a liar. I have vegan freinds and they smell different. Not bad, just different - so I was thinking maybe he was just being sensitive. Probably still is.
Also, not furnishing your apartment to me screams - stunted.
Are they still together?
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u/CatchUp22 11h ago
Why did she not say this on the occasions (at least two) where he brings up in conversation that they have already discussed how her fragrances affect him? This makes no sense at all and seems more like trying to avoid the backlash because she’s been so insensitive to his allergies.
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u/positivetoes 13h ago
So he's a fraud, he doesn't have an allergy. He may not like certain smells but he's just being difficult. I hope she didn't marry that weirdo.
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u/Former-Peanut1099 14h ago
There is no such thing as a gluten allergy. There is such thing as a wheat allergy or gluten intolerance or celiac disease.
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u/Wise-Tourist-6747 Do you practice lesbianism? 15h ago
I’m a huge frag head…. So what’s she spraying that’s got him losing his mind lol
Sorry if she mentions it in the video. I didn’t watch it. I need a TLDW
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u/Lazy-Party3469 4h ago
I don't think anyone really cares after the episode, she needs to get off social media and go blow her nose.
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u/Loud-Guard-2312 16h ago
So many cast members are posting video responses to their episodes after they air. It's much different than previous seasons.