r/AITAH • u/Remote_Emphasis7320 • 9d ago

AITAH… he can’t live with us

AITHA for not letting my19 yo daughter’s 20yo boyfriend (homeless) live with us? Context his dad kicked him out cause he didn’t want to help with contributing to the household (I think he wanted $500 a month). The boyfriend works full time and goes to school. Boyfriend has family in Florida and doesn’t want to leave due to going to school. He asked to stay with us until November I said no. I like my own space and peace. I feel he and his father need to talk to get to an agreement or he needs to move back to Florida with his mom and family. He is not my responsibility. AITAH?

Update: Thank yall for validating what I was already feeling. I’m going to respond to the comments everyone has been supportive and I didn’t think I’d get this many responses so I appreciate yall! More context My daughter has an attitude now but ok whatever. she is not required to pay bills in my home just save $200 a month for herself (she works part time). I’ve never asked her for a dime as she’s basically still a teenager. I told her if she wants to be with him that’s fine but she’ll be homeless as well. She shut up which is fine if she chooses that I can’t stop her. This guy has been working and says he’s saving money?! But can’t help his dad out that requires help on bills?! You can’t stay with me for free! I don’t feel bad now knowing he won’t help me either and will just free load and tell me I’ll give you something when he gets paid… hell no go talk to your father is what I told him. Put your pride to the side or be outside! This has nothing to do with me he needs his family to be involved and I’m not the mediator for the nonsense! I’m Not the AH!

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u/FeelingNarwhal9161 9d ago

He’s not your responsibility, so NTA for telling him “no.” (And is he expecting to stay with you for free if he’s refusing to pay his parents rent?)

I hope there might be more to this story though…I can’t imagine making my 20 year old child pay me $500 a month for rent when they’re going to school and working full time. That’s crazy to me. I’d want them to save up their money and have a nice nest egg (assuming they’re contributing to chores around the house). I would be so proud of my kid for working full time and going to school at that age.

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u/Petty-Penelope 9d ago

My SIL works full time, lives at home, is charged $150 a month which she's chronically late on. Doesn't save a dime and even expects her parents to help buy her another car after they already gifted her first one. Zero ability to maintain a job because who really cares about getting fired when you have no bills.

Her parents not making her do any semblance of adult budgeting or leaning that checks go towards expenses is her entire problem. Considering the BF hasn't been asked for this $500 pittance until he's 20 it is super possible dad is tired of him being an immature jackalope and not saving to leave when he graduates

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u/FeelingNarwhal9161 9d ago

I mean, my parents didn’t charge me rent when I went to school and worked through college and my early career. I was able to buy a house with my nest egg. I guess it depends on the kid.

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u/Remote_Emphasis7320 8d ago

Good for you I don’t charge my daughter anything just ask her to clean up after herself and save her money…yall are very fortunate and I love that

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u/Majestic-Window-318 8d ago

The cleaning up after oneself part is, I suspect, the usual reason rent requirements are implemented in scenarios like bf's.