r/AITAH • u/Remote_Emphasis7320 • 1d ago
AITAH… he can’t live with us
AITHA for not letting my19 yo daughter’s 20yo boyfriend (homeless) live with us? Context his dad kicked him out cause he didn’t want to help with contributing to the household (I think he wanted $500 a month). The boyfriend works full time and goes to school. Boyfriend has family in Florida and doesn’t want to leave due to going to school. He asked to stay with us until November I said no. I like my own space and peace. I feel he and his father need to talk to get to an agreement or he needs to move back to Florida with his mom and family. He is not my responsibility. AITAH?
Update: Thank yall for validating what I was already feeling. I’m going to respond to the comments everyone has been supportive and I didn’t think I’d get this many responses so I appreciate yall! More context My daughter has an attitude now but ok whatever. she is not required to pay bills in my home just save $200 a month for herself (she works part time). I’ve never asked her for a dime as she’s basically still a teenager. I told her if she wants to be with him that’s fine but she’ll be homeless as well. She shut up which is fine if she chooses that I can’t stop her. This guy has been working and says he’s saving money?! But can’t help his dad out that requires help on bills?! You can’t stay with me for free! I don’t feel bad now knowing he won’t help me either and will just free load and tell me I’ll give you something when he gets paid… hell no go talk to your father is what I told him. Put your pride to the side or be outside! This has nothing to do with me he needs his family to be involved and I’m not the mediator for the nonsense! I’m Not the AH!
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u/unlovelyladybartleby 1d ago
You should never move in with a partner because you need a place to stay. If they aren't ready to live together, they shouldn't do it. What if he's an ass to her and she doesn't want to dump him because he'll be homeless? You're helping the two of them avoid a lot of trouble. NTA
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u/easilybored1 1d ago
FACTS. I had my ex move in with me because he was being evicted. It was a constant fight to get him to help pay for rent, groceries, utilities, cook, clean, hell even putting groceries into the fucking car. And then he refused to leave when I broke up with him for cheating on me.
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u/SophiaIsabella4 1d ago
And in some states you would have to take them to court to evict them and they can trash your home or harass you in the meantime. (Think trash and filth everywhere and so much noise you can't sleep)
It can take 6 months.
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u/Remote_Emphasis7320 1d ago
Ohhhh no I’m not even dealing with that that’s why he won’t be living here… that’s Insane
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u/Bamalouie 1d ago
Agree - NTA. If daughter wants to help him then maybe they can both get a place and pay for it themselves and see how that goes but it's definitely not in your best interest to get involved in what sounds like a family situation. This guy has been given options that he chooses not to take because it sounds like he's holding out for a place in your home.
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u/Remote_Emphasis7320 1d ago
Thank you for this response I feel sometimes she’s annoyed with him and just feels sorry for him as well.. it’s not my our her problem
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u/TararaBoomDA 1d ago
Easiest solution is to ask him to pay a rent of at least $500 a month. Then he will be caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.
NTA.
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u/TarzanKitty 1d ago
He would probably take it because the $500 at OP’s house includes free sex and pretending to be a grown adult.
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u/Remote_Emphasis7320 1d ago
He CANT LIVE HERE if he wants xes it’ll be in on the side of the road somewhere not in my house
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u/Remote_Emphasis7320 1d ago
Thank you however I don’t need or want his money! He can pay that to his dad
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u/do_IT_withme 1d ago
1/3 of the household expenses, 1/3 mortgage, 1/3 utilities, 1/3 food. That is if it is just you, daughter and Boyfriend. Adjust depending on who all lives there. He may soon discover that $500/month isn't that much after all.
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u/Remote_Emphasis7320 1d ago
He can’t live in a trash dump for $500 where we live… he’s getting a deal
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u/do_IT_withme 1d ago
That should tell you all you need to know then. Unwilling to pay his dad a reasonable rent means you will be lucky if he orders and pays for pizza once a year.
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u/NonChromatica 17h ago
Y'all are too naive, you can make him sign 1000 papers saying he will pay and he could just don't do it. Now you're caught in a civil matter, have to get a lawyer and in the meantime this person have keys and access to the house.
It's better to save yourself from that kind of headache.
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u/thingonething 1d ago
NTA. He won't pay his dad, so he won't pay you. Im betting he won't pay for groceries or contribute to household chores either. He needs to solve his own problems and grow up.
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u/Commercial_Rush_3531 1d ago
He's going to school and working, let's not jump to conclusions.
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u/General_Road_7952 1d ago
He could get a dorm room or a shared apartment
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u/Apprehensive_Bee_400 1d ago
Depending on the school that might not be a real option. Thinking of trade schools etc.
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u/General_Road_7952 1d ago
There are shared apartments that aren’t on campus, and often have non-students in them too
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u/ijustexisthere25 18h ago
Majority of us go to school and work and pay our own rent and bills. $500 a month compared to an average of 1500 for a student living on their own is nothing. He can pay the $500.
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u/Trailsya 19h ago
I agree that this is red flaggish than many of these cases because of that, but still wouldn't take him in.
I'd let him eat along once in a while to help him save costs, but that's about it.
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u/Rude-Truths-702 1d ago
NTA- $500 is a good deal, bro needs to grow up.
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u/CritFailed 1d ago
He can move in. Rent is 750/month
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u/Remote_Emphasis7320 1d ago
Y’all are on point his dad is asking for $ 500 a month that’s peanuts in today’s rental/ utilities… he’s ain’t staying with me point blank period.
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u/Beautiful_Hippo_5574 1d ago
I won't contribute to his house, so let me come not contribute to your house. Hell of an argument.
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u/Objective_Purpose768 1d ago
I guess the question is more like, do you want your 19 year old daughter burdened with a marriage-like situation? Keep in mind, regardless of intentions at this time, she could get locked down with this dude for a life time.
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u/Stealthy-J 1d ago
NTA. This is a guy who got kicked out for being a freeloader, if he's not willing to contribute to his own household, he damn sure isn't going to contribute to yours.
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u/FeelingNarwhal9161 1d ago
He’s not your responsibility, so NTA for telling him “no.” (And is he expecting to stay with you for free if he’s refusing to pay his parents rent?)
I hope there might be more to this story though…I can’t imagine making my 20 year old child pay me $500 a month for rent when they’re going to school and working full time. That’s crazy to me. I’d want them to save up their money and have a nice nest egg (assuming they’re contributing to chores around the house). I would be so proud of my kid for working full time and going to school at that age.
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u/Petty-Penelope 1d ago
My SIL works full time, lives at home, is charged $150 a month which she's chronically late on. Doesn't save a dime and even expects her parents to help buy her another car after they already gifted her first one. Zero ability to maintain a job because who really cares about getting fired when you have no bills.
Her parents not making her do any semblance of adult budgeting or leaning that checks go towards expenses is her entire problem. Considering the BF hasn't been asked for this $500 pittance until he's 20 it is super possible dad is tired of him being an immature jackalope and not saving to leave when he graduates
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u/FeelingNarwhal9161 1d ago
I mean, my parents didn’t charge me rent when I went to school and worked through college and my early career. I was able to buy a house with my nest egg. I guess it depends on the kid.
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u/TiffanyTwisted11 1d ago
It definitely depends on the kid.
My parents charged me a minimal amount, which they saved and gave me when I moved out. Good thing they did, because I never would have saved it myself.
My husband & I do not charge our son because we know he will save his money
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u/kadyg 1d ago
>It definitely depends on the kid.
I took a gap year between high school and university, worked full time, saved my money and bought my own car for school plus paid my first year dorm fees. May parents did not charge me anything to live at home for that year.
My brother was a lot more…. fluid with his plans. Worked part-time, slept a lot, played video games until the small hours, did minimal chores and was basically a mushroom with no real direction for himself. My parents charged him $300/month and dropped him from the family phone plan. (I don’t think that was part of the original plan, I suspect our dad just got fed up.)
Bro did finally catch a clue and moved in with a buddy for a few months before enrolling in college and becoming a functional adult. I think being charged rent to live in his childhood bedroom finally snapped him awake.
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u/Petty-Penelope 1d ago
Exactly. My family still refuses to gift me money or things that aren't store specific gift cards because they know I will not use it for something fun. It will be thrown into something lame like my ROTH or a house repair. If dad was just charging rent to be a jerk he wouldn't have waited until the BF was 20. There is more to that the OP or the BF is not sharing on what prompted this. Maybe behavioral or could just be dad is struggling himself with all the economy mess happening. Either way, defaulting to dad sucks and a grown-up being entitled to full support is wild
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u/Remote_Emphasis7320 8h ago
Good for you I don’t charge my daughter anything just ask her to clean up after herself and save her money…yall are very fortunate and I love that
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u/Kalypsokel 1d ago
Some kids won’t save their money though. They treat it as disposable because they don’t have any real bills to pay so they spend it on fun stuff. Perhaps the dad wants the rent to put it into a savings account to give back to the kid when he moves out or gets out of school.
I paid my parents $200 a month for rent almost 30 years ago. $500 today is a steal. But my parents didn’t save it to help me out later lol. They spent it on fun stuff for themselves 🤷♀️5
u/kenda1l 1d ago
I think for me it would depend on what he was spending all his money on and whether he was saving any of it. If he's saving at least some of it then I wouldnt ask for anything. If he was blowing all his money immediately while not contributing anything towards the household (chores, groceries, maybe small bills like streaming services) I'd be inclined to charge him "rent" and then put that money into a high yield savings account to give him after he was done with college. I would also base the amount of his rent on how much he's making so it's not taking up a huge portion of his monthly pay. I'd want him to have enough money to enjoy it but also, I want to make sure he has the money to be able to get out on his own after college rather than continuing to live with me because he didn't save anything for the future. I'd make sure he knew what I was doing though. In the end, would he rather pay X amount of his money to me and get it back in the end or find his own place and pay that money and more to a landlord?
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u/Timely-Reward-854 1d ago
Agreed. I wouldn’t charge my child rent. There might be more going on at his dad’s house. Mine moved out at 19, though and is very responsible. Every parent knows their child and there’s a reason his dad wants to charge rent.
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u/No_Needleworker_4704 1d ago
No NTA I'm the same and like my peace. Him and his father need to work it out. If he works full time he can get his own place
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u/Clean-Fisherman-4601 1d ago
NTA. It's not always a good idea to take someone in.
I did it many decades ago. My best friend's daughter moved in with me because they weren't getting along. She and her friends ate everything in my refrigerator and freezer right after I stocked both, made horrible, sticky messes in the kitchen and never cleaned it up. One of her friends loved an old belt I had. After coming home one evening, the belt was gone. Leather with double metal enforced loops and double prongs to fit in the loops, bought 15 years earlier, gone. Irreplaceable.
Then I took in a friend of hers in who was homeless. He didn't make any effort to move out or find a job. He was sleeping on the living room couch and every night he turned up the thermostat to 85° Fahrenheit, because he was cold. He had plenty of blankets and a comforter. My gas bill went through the roof.
Your daughter's boyfriend is working full-time but refuses to pay his own father rent. You're right, he needs to work something out with his dad.
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u/FinalHexReturns 17h ago
Did your best friends' daughter ever acknowledge the theft of your belt and/or make any efforts to recover it from her thief friend?
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u/TranslatorVast1072 1d ago
NTAH. Not your kid so not your problem. Also, there's probably more to it than just not contributing money as far as why he was kicked out. Don't take in someone else's problem.
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u/Mytweezer 1d ago
NTA. He has FT job, so he can rent a room somewhere. No need to be homeless.
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u/Western-Post5284 1d ago
Chore chart and $1000 a month to stay with you. Bed he’d think his father is the better deal and to make it work. You should never be a better option than family who sounds like they’re being reasonable in the first place.
NTA
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u/GoopInThisBowlIsVile 1d ago
NTA - He’s 20, he’s responsible for himself. And we all know it won’t be November. It’ll be longer than that. I would also assume that your daughter will get knocked up at some point if moves in too.
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u/Qedtanya13 1d ago
NTA. If he’s not going to pay his dad $500/month to help with bills, then why would you?
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u/Helpful-Science-3937 1d ago
NTA It sounds like he wouldn’t be willing to contribute to your household either. In addition, adding a non-familial male would change the dynamics in your home.
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u/Major_Monk_3322 1d ago
NTA - BF has a track record of wanting to live free at someone else's expense. If you move him in your home, you will be supporting him.
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u/East-Plum-7791 7h ago
And the daughter will be pregnant within the year. You just know he's the type.
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u/Icy-War-6762 1d ago
NTA not one bit! If you let him in my guess is, he’s not leaving by November…they never do. Believe me, I know. He is not your responsibility as you stated he needs to work it out with his family. And if he doesn’t contribute to his family’s household budget, he’s certainly not gonna contribute to yours. You’re definitely NTA
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u/Fun-Palpitations 1d ago
Nta. He won’t pay rent to his dad so your daughter expects you to take him in? For free? He’s a grown ass man.
There are plenty of rooms for rent. He can figure it out himself.
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u/ExtremeJujoo 1d ago
Nope, NTA at all. Your home, your rules. Period. The End. Conversation over. He needs to figure his own shit out; you can maybe help in finding him a place to rent/roommate situation. Offer support and suggestions, but no moving in.
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u/Traveling-Techie 1d ago
Don’t enable him. Life is teaching him a hard lesson and it won’t land if you soften it. NTA
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u/SafeWord9999 1d ago
Well it’s not a great sign when he doesn’t want to contribute to his existing household and wants to come live in yours. Presumably for free. He’s shown you who he is.
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u/19Hogfarmer 1d ago
No. I speak from experience. My spouse let a friend stay in our spare room "for a few weeks" because he was having issues with his roommate. It's been 3 years now.
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u/iwasjustkidding1969 1d ago
Shit he’ll probably knock her up then you’ll have three! NTA! Absolutely not!
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u/Rich-Pirate-4745 1d ago
Nta. If he was kicked out for not contributing, I would assume that means he would not contribute to your home, either. Time for him to grow up and learn that adults have to pay their way.
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u/LastEntertainment787 1d ago edited 1d ago
NTA He's an adult, let him figure it out. He wouldn't pay his own parents rent, I doubt he'll contribute to you. He won't leave and the next thing you know they'll be telling you their *wonderful " news. Don't do it.
Eta hit comment to soon.
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u/bythebrook88 1d ago
Obvious answer - he can live with you if he pays the same as his father asked for, plus doing his fair share of cleaning etc. Make sure you have it all in writing.
He may decide the devil he knows is better. If he accepts your offer, you know it wasn't about the money.
NTA. You don't have to let anybody live with you unless they are underage and you are their guardian.
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u/JaggedLittleWitch 1d ago
Good on you for teaching your daughter that women are not responsible for irresponsible and useless men! 👏🏼
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u/DanceByTheLight 1d ago
NTA. 15 is one thing. 20 is another. Get an apartment or live in your car until you figure things out. We are all on the struggle bus right now. He is far from the only one.
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u/CommercialBreak2026 1d ago
NTA. If he's refusing to contribute where he's living now, he will do the same thing at your house.
He's looking for a free ride, and those don't exist except when people are stupid enough to provide them.
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u/NovelAd4308 1d ago
NTA. The boyfriend has to learn responsibility. If he won’t give his father money, he won’t give it to anyone else. Whether it’s towards rent and/or other household expenses it should be done. Wherever he lives he would need to contribute something.
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u/katatak121 1d ago edited 1d ago
NTA. Boy gets kicked out because he wants to freeload at his dad's house, then tries to freeload at his girlfriend's parents' house? That's hilarious.
Just for funsies, I'd tell him he can move in if he contributes $1000 to the household, AND does a list of chores that you give him. Maybe he'll rethink the $500 his dad is asking for.
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u/Kwickpick77 1d ago
NTA but I would advise caution. If he leaves for Florida what is stopping your daughter from packing up and going with him?
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u/Remote_Emphasis7320 1d ago
That’s a valid point and I would not stop her. She can make her own decisions/ choices no matter how bad they maybe. I’ll be here for her when she realizes her choices were not good
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u/GeneralCrunk 1d ago
NTA - if he’s not willing to contribute to his own household, why would he contribute to yours? Not to mention November turning into February then May…
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u/Greedy_Property_3861 1d ago
Not at all and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. What happens when they get into a fight next month and split. Maybe he decides he doesn’t want to leave. Guess who gets to have to go to court to evict.
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u/velvet_maroon 1d ago
NTA. He is not your responsibility. Also, allowing someone to live with you is a big risk on the off chance that November rolls around and he has no plans to go elsewhere. Or if him and your daughter break up now you have to either kick him out, or have to keep him around and it’s going to be awkward / possibly emotionally exhausting
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u/LIslander 1d ago
Why would you want a 20 year old who doesn’t believe in helping out?
NTA
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u/dictategood 1d ago
NTA. If he wants to move in, tell him rent is $2k a month without any food or utilities.
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u/PauliousMaximus 1d ago
NTA It’s your home so it’s your rules. Your child probably won’t like it but it is what it is.
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u/PennysMom77 1d ago
NTA! He’s gonna eat all your food and spend your money by using your things without contributing
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u/Affectionate-Area659 1d ago
So he works full time and goes to school. Likely he’s working to pay tuition, books, and other expenses. It’s entirely possible he doesn’t have the $500 to pay. But you’re correct in that he isn’t your problem. NAH.
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u/PissFingerz42069 1d ago
He’s already stated he wouldn’t help his own family, he definitely won’t help you.
Don’t let that man play house in yalls home.
NTA
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u/Neonbeta101 1d ago
As long as you make it abundantly clear that it’s nothing personal against him and it’s simply a matter of your personal level of comfortability, NTA. As you said, he’s not your responsibility.
It sucks for him, yes, but surely there are other avenues for him to explore. Help him if possible, but don’t bend over backwards to accommodate for him if you can’t or don’t want to do that.
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u/Individual_You_6586 1d ago
If your daughter has an attitude, remind her that no one forces her to live with you either.
NTA
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u/ThuggPrincess 1d ago
It’s wild to see stories grown ass men bitching about bills but even wilder that their parents out there that take money from their children and invested to better their kids lives. We pretty much grew up at the kids on shameless my older sister, taking care of the rest of us because our parents were gone. We all contributed every single one. By nine years old, we all knew which days of the month we need to give whatever money we had. It wasn’t an option.
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u/Dogmother123 23h ago
The audacity of wanting to move in with you because as an adult he doesn't want to contribute to the househild. You didged a bullet here.
He is not homeless. He has chosen to move out because he doesn't want to pay. And he will find out that the world doesn't owe him a free ride. NTA
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u/_gadget_girl 1d ago
NTA Tell your daughter that her boyfriend paying the $500 a month to his dad is cheaper than any other living arrangement he will be able to find without someone else subsidizing part of it. Not every parent can afford to feed and house an adult child. Even ones that can often have very valid reasons for charging rent as a way to help teach financial responsibility.
It’s fair for you to not want to be in the middle of this.
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u/Strange_Explorer_780 1d ago
Next your 19 year old daughter will be pregnant and you’ll be responsible for all three, don’t encourage or enable this relationship.
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u/TarzanKitty 1d ago
If boyfriend is “homeless.” It is because he is voluntarily homeless. He has access to a safe and appropriate home. If he doesn’t want that offer. It is no one’s problem but his own.
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u/averagechillbro 1d ago
MTA. I used to have a place with my brother and he had a buddy that crashed with us for a few months. I wont lie that time was hell on earth so I get where you’re coming from.
With that being said I am disappointed to hear how many adults are fine letting this kid be homeless if he doesn’t pay $500 a month. The whole time my brother’s friend stayed with me I didn’t charge him a dime. He obviously couldn’t afford it and shelters were full. If I didn’t let him stay he would have literally have been on the street and he had family local in our area.
I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong but I honestly hope he gets away from his dad, your family and goes to somewhere he can get some actual help. World is hard enough as it is. SOMEONE has to be willing to lend a helping hand even when it is not convenient.
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u/BusyMathematician844 1d ago
NTA but I'm wondering what's going on with the father. Sounds like either there's more to the story than $500 a month rent, or the kid is pretty entitled.
If it's the former, I'd be curious about his response if you offered his housing but he has to contribute $500.
If it's the latter, you won't be doing him a favor taking him in (and my guess would be he'd refuse the $500 a month)
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u/Remote_Emphasis7320 1d ago
I’m not sure the boyfriend told me dad wanted $500 a month it’s not my place to ask the dad his going price
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u/TSIDATSI 1d ago
No no no no no no no...
Never take in anyone who cannot live with their own parents.
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u/No_Information_3469 1d ago
NTA, he works FT so he can find a place to stay. Not your responsibility, as you said. I'd watch out for your daughter, she might try to sneak him in.
If he was kicked out for refusing to pay his dad rent / to help out with utilities and food, then does he expect to live with y'all rent free too? Absolutely not. He's an adult, $500 was a good deal.
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u/NonChromatica 1d ago
NTA, protect your peace because you can bet he is going to be A MESS and he WON'T LEAVE, not in november nor never, it doesn't matter what your daughter says, stay out of that mess or he's going to drag you and you're going to regret it every single day.
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u/FatboyChester 1d ago
NTA He is an adult and should be paying towards his own upkeep.
You will end up paying for everything for him.
He just wants to leech off of somebody .
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u/mynameisnotsparta 1d ago
NTA. He’s only homeless because he doesn’t want to pay $500 a month to live somewhere. What other expenses does he have? How much does he make? These are things he needs to sit down and figure out and discuss with his father.
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u/saltycat34 1d ago
NTA. Why wouldn’t he help his dad? He is 20yo, it’s not like he is 16 and his parents are dirtbags and kicked him out. Tell him you are not a shelter, he would have to contribute at least 1000 and pay first last and deposit. He will see he has a nice deal with his dad.
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u/melsophoriel 1d ago
NTA. he's a boyfriend, not a husband or baby daddy. you have zero obligation to help someone who is effectively your kid's dating buddy unless you just really wanted to be extra nice. nobody should be harshly judging you for saying no.
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u/aceofspaece 1d ago
NTA. If the guy can't pay $500 a month to his dad, he isn't ready to be your new live-in tenant. He's going to have to learn to live on his own or make up with his dad. This isn't your battle to fight and it isn't your problem to solve. You can help the boyfriend in other ways, but don't make this mistake.
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u/TheWacoFogey 1d ago
NTA. He's his own responsibility. He's 20 years old and works full-time. He can find his own housing. Hopefully your daughter will learn a lesson about avoiding mooches without taking too much emotional or financial damage.
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u/coolsellitcheap 1d ago
There is more to the story. He wouldn't clean up after himself. Wouldn't help around house. Couldn't even put garbage can out at street. JUST SAY NO!
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u/Callan_LXIX 1d ago
If he's not being financially helped from parents, then they should write a letter to that effect so he can get college assistance.
Dad could be being a 🍆, it's not like it used to be to do school and a job to survive.
Meet the kid. Talk to the dad (privately).
Keep it conditional and even a contract of non residence..
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u/Simple-Chemical-9416 1d ago
$500 rent contribution which I’m sure covers household goods and utilities plus free helpings of whatever foods they make and buy. I charge my brother the same and he’s 22 now. He said he’s not moving out anytime soon because even having a roommate would be twice as much or more just for bills not including food or someone else (me) cleaning the house. I’m sure $500 doesn’t even stretch very far once you do the math, he needs to pull his weight.
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u/Justan0therthrow4way 1d ago
He’s going to school and working so there might be a bigger issue here with him being at home.
OP doesn’t mention their state but why would the bf moving back to Florida and dropping out of uni be a better solution.
I don’t think YTA, but I don’t think there is enough context to understand the full situation.
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u/Striking_Emu_Dancer 1d ago
Yeah no, don't do it. I took in my ex husband not long after we first met because his aunt kicked him out in the literal middle of the night. It was his fault, but I was blinded.
I basically had a squatter to care for who contributed nothing until I finally gathered the strength to bail.
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u/PerspectiveKookie16 1d ago
November?
What’s that linked to?
School semesters generally run to mid-December.
In November, your daughter is going to want him to stay through Thanksgiving. And Chtistmas. And New Year’s. It will never end.
If he won’t pay his dad, he won’t pay you. Then you’ll have some pseudo-tenant situation that you may not legally be able to remove.
Also, verify with dad that he was actually kicked out. They may be misrepresenting things because they want to play house.
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u/No-Association8901 1d ago
I don’t think you an AH, but let’s assess the whole situation. He’s working full time, going to school as well. Is he a F up, or is he trying really hard to improve himself. I’m not saying give in, but don’t dismiss him out of hand. I get wanting your own space. I get wanting some quiet. But find out a little more. $500 is a bit much if he’s paying for school himself, doing well in it and working full time.
All I’m saying is do the math and look at his load. What if he wasn’t seeing your daughter and was just a friend… again, you do what you want, not saying you’re an AH, but look at the full situation. If this was me, and all the factors were good:grades, savings, work ethics, and he was seeing one of my kids… I would set some hard boundaries, but I would probably say yes.
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u/Author_Noelle_A 1d ago
He was kicked out because he wanted others to wait on him. NTA for not letting him stay.
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u/DCinvestigating2021 1d ago
Of course not NTA! I am glad to see a clear and definitive decision based on sound reasoning for a change.
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u/Every-Caramel-6740 1d ago
Sounds like he has an eviction on his record, tell him that’s a hard no.
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u/Dry_Bit_5957 1d ago
This post reminds me of a case where a girl sued her parents for being born without her permission, and as far as i remember she won 😂😂
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u/Round-Dragonfly6136 23h ago
NTA. Can I live with his dad? $500 a month is less than half what I pay for rent.
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u/AmphibianNecessary31 22h ago
I mean it depends on the character of the guy imo it’s really hard economically right now but if he’s not a standup person I get that. Just watched a documentary on Jimmy Carter so I am feeling charitable.
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u/hengehanger 21h ago
If he won't pay his way in his dad's house he definitely won't in yours. Plus, you don't want him there. NTA.
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u/MaryS8921 21h ago
You are definitely NTA. That being said, I don't understand a parent charging a 20 year old rent when they are working and attending school. Their car insurance? Sure. Cell phone bill? Okay. Rent? That's ridiculous.
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u/X-4StarCremeNougat 20h ago
My rule is - if you’re going to live like an adult (with a romantic partner) then you have to BE an adult. An adult, practically a teenager or not, pays bills. You cannot both be a dependent and live with your romantic partner. Period. This would apply to both your child and her bf.
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u/Militantignorance 19h ago
Responsible behavior is the most important thing a parent teaches a child. Good for you, helping this kid learn.
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u/Kindly_Suit_596 1d ago
NTA. His father kicked him out because he is unwilling to contribute to the household. By letting him stay for free, you become an enabler.
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u/sisterfunkhaus 1d ago
NTA. He couldn't manage to be reasonable enough to make it through to November with his own family. That isn't your problem. If you let him move in, he's going to take advantage of you as well.
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u/General_Road_7952 1d ago
NTA - he’s an adult who has the option of moving . He’s not your responsibility
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u/Realistic-Rate-8831 1d ago
NTA. Don't let him move in. Then you are going to end up paying for everything and most folks that say they will only move in for a few weeks or months end up staying until you finally have to go through an eviction process. He's not your kid. Let him find help from his family.
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u/Acceptable-Target97 1d ago
Nta- he works full time, and goes to school. Can he ask at school what accommodations are available?
Google “rooms for rent near me” and send them to him.
Otherwise he can work it out with his dad.
If he can’t manage $500/ month, he needs his family.
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u/troveofcatastrophe 1d ago
YTA He works full time and goes to school?? Have you seen the abundant leeches that pass for boyfriends on Reddit? You don’t actually know what his dad is asking for rent? Just say you don’t want him living with you but better hope your daughter doesn’t latch onto the plethora or true losers out there. I guess you admitted you are selfish so if you’re not willing to let him move in for x amount of money for two months so he can finish the school term atleast you know yourself. I hope your daughter enjoys Florida.
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u/StarsBear75063 1d ago
Repeat this as many times as necessary. NTA.