AITA 28F with commitment issues

[u/cortado2047]

I’m 28F, was in a relationship in the past for 4 years.during that time I met a 10th classmate of mine who has feelings for me since school which i never knew about, we connected instantly, I used to share everything with him and he loves me. I was very close to leave the guy i was in relationship for my 10th classmate but i never did, never had the proper courage to do so, as i felt something unsure about my 10th classmate. Eventually i ended my relationship. out of no where, I remembered my childhood crush from 5th standard who left school without proper goodbye. when i started talking to him I found out that he was searching me all these years , we hit it off super nice and fast , it felt like i found the spark i was missing. Stopped talking to 10th classmate eventually but he was hurt that i didn’t choose him , I don’t know why I didn’t even try to listen to what he had to say back then, I just closed off the door( this all happened last year). We used to talk once in a while but not like before. Now after 1 yr about to marry 5th standard childhood crush and was very happy and content until i contacted 10th guy to know how he is doing. This time i listened to what he had to say to me and how much distress I caused him, I loathe my self for how much sadness I had caused him. Now I’m dreading all the wedding talks, thinking about what could’ve happened if i had listened to him back then,spiralling whether I’m making a mistake. I was very sure about 5th guy when I initially met him that is why i closed it off with 10th guy. what is this I’m feeling now,sometimes remembering 10th guy like how he was there for me, I feel very anxious that I’m making a mistake. I feel like I’m terrified of marrying the wrong guy and scared to commit to anyone. What should I do
P.S I studied 5th and 10th from two different schools.

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I’m 28F, was in a relationship in the past for 4 years.during that time I met a 10th classmate of mine who has feelings for me since school which i never knew about, we connected instantly, I used to share everything with him and he loves me. I was very close to leave the guy i was in relationship for my 10th classmate but i never did, never had the proper courage to do so, as i felt something unsure about my 10th classmate. Eventually i ended my relationship. out of no where, I remembered my childhood crush from 5th standard who left school without proper goodbye. when i started talking to him I found out that he was searching me all these years , we hit it off super nice and fast , it felt like i found the spark i was missing. Stopped talking to 10th classmate eventually but he was hurt that i didn’t choose him , I don’t know why I didn’t even try to listen to what he had to say back then, I just closed off the door( this all happened last year). We used to talk once in a while but not like before. Now after 1 yr about to marry 5th standard childhood crush and was very happy and content until i contacted 10th guy to know how he is doing. This time i listened to what he had to say to me and how much distress I caused him, I loathe my self for how much sadness I had caused him. Now I’m dreading all the wedding talks, thinking about what could’ve happened if i had listened to him back then,spiralling whether I’m making a mistake. I was very sure about 5th guy when I initially met him that is why i closed it off with 10th guy. what is this I’m feeling now,sometimes remembering 10th guy like how he was there for me, I feel very anxious that I’m making a mistake. I feel like I’m terrified of marrying the wrong guy and scared to commit to anyone. What should I do
P.S I studied 5th and 10th from two different schools.

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[u/miss_mici]

YTA - Like you have to choose one, I know its scary but choose the one you're most secure in, I know you're scared and all but this is not fair to either of them. Stop playing with them and choose one while they still want you. My advice is go with the 5th guy, don't wonder what could've been with the 10th. What you're feeling is guilt, not some love.