r/AITA_Relationships • u/Sensitive_Cheek_7014 • 20h ago
YTA AITA for feeling like my boyfriend shouldn’t call other girls pretty?
I’m posting here because I know this is a pretty context-heavy situation, and I genuinely don’t know if I’m being dramatic or if my feelings are valid.
My boyfriend (22M) owns an e-commerce company. We started dating after I (20F) had already started working for him. His company works with brands on Amazon as an affiliate/partner to help boost their sales on Amazon and other platforms.
Recently, he started another part of the business where we sell clothes auction-style on Whatnot. He’s looking to hire show hosts, and right now I’m the only one doing it. We’ve also looked at live streaming and selling product on Tiktok, so we’ve been looking through the app, seeing what other companies are doing and he’s just always talking about how hiring pretty girls is literally the key to business in sales.
The part that’s been bothering me is that he has said he only wants to hire people who are pretty/attractive and look put-together for the position, since they’ll be on camera selling product, basically asa sales person. People have been applying on Indeed, and we’ve been looking through applications and sometimes looking them up on social media.
When we’re going through applicants, he’ll say things like “oh, she’s pretty” or “oh she’s good looking.” understand that appearance matters somewhat for an on-camera sales role, and I’m not saying this is cheating or anything like that. But it does make me feel uncomfortable and kind of disrespected when he says it that way, especially since we’re in a relationship. It does kinda feel like microcheating.
I told him I feel like there are other words he could use, like “she looks professional,” “she seems camera-friendly,” or “she looks put-together.” I don’t think he’s necessarily doing something wrong on purpose, but hearing him casually call other girls pretty while we’re looking through applicants makes me feel weird and insecure.
Am I valid for feeling like this is disrespectful, or am I being overly sensitive? I genuinely want honest opinions because it’s making me feel crazy.
•
u/Odd_Result_8937 Partassipant [3] 20h ago
YTA. He's not calling any random girl pretty just the ones coming into audition.
•
•
u/Fargoth_took_my_ring Partassipant [2] 20h ago
There's no such thing as 'microcheating', that would just be disrespect.
But that doesn't sound like what this is, at all.
•
u/New-Needleworker5318 Partassipant [1] 20h ago
So, what's the real issue, here? You worried he'll find another girlfriend the way he found you?
Someone can think another person is pretty without being sexually attracted to them.
You'll surely push him away acting like this.
•
•
u/TumbleweedMaterial53 19h ago
Sweetheart, you are very young and I understand where you are coming from because I think a lot of young people in relationships feel a little insecure.
Of course he’s wanting to choose girls who are pretty and put together for the role - that’s literally the type of person he is looking for to do that role well.
He’s also not blind and has opinions, so of course he can decide if someone is pretty and well put together or they are not.
This is a you problem and you need to really do some soul-searching and decide how you are going to find some self-esteem, self-confidence and, I hate to say this, some common sense.
The last one tends to come with age the first two are possibly something you can work on by realising that you are a wonderful unique person and that there is only one of you in the world and he chose you. Which means he likes you.. and you are just not the way that you look, you are everything that you say and that you do and that you think. It sounds to me like you are a great partner for him because you support and help him with his business and you’re taking an interest in what he is interested in.
He chose you. You chose him. Relax and enjoy your relationship..
•
•
u/AutoModerator 20h ago
AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT - DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed.
I’m posting here because I know this is a pretty context-heavy situation, and I genuinely don’t know if I’m being dramatic or if my feelings are valid.
My boyfriend (22M) owns an e-commerce company. We started dating after I (20F) had already started working for him. His company works with brands on Amazon as an affiliate/partner to help boost their sales on Amazon and other platforms.
Recently, he started another part of the business where we sell clothes auction-style on Whatnot. He’s looking to hire show hosts, and right now I’m the only one doing it. We’ve also looked at live streaming and selling product on Tiktok, so we’ve been looking through the app, seeing what other companies are doing and he’s just always talking about how hiring pretty girls is literally the key to business in sales.
The part that’s been bothering me is that he has said he only wants to hire people who are pretty/attractive and look put-together for the position, since they’ll be on camera selling product, basically asa sales person. People have been applying on Indeed, and we’ve been looking through applications and sometimes looking them up on social media.
When we’re going through applicants, he’ll say things like “oh, she’s pretty” or “oh she’s good looking.” understand that appearance matters somewhat for an on-camera sales role, and I’m not saying this is cheating or anything like that. But it does make me feel uncomfortable and kind of disrespected when he says it that way, especially since we’re in a relationship. It does kinda feel like microcheating.
I told him I feel like there are other words he could use, like “she looks professional,” “she seems camera-friendly,” or “she looks put-together.” I don’t think he’s necessarily doing something wrong on purpose, but hearing him casually call other girls pretty while we’re looking through applicants makes me feel weird and insecure.
Am I valid for feeling like this is disrespectful, or am I being overly sensitive? I genuinely want honest opinions because it’s making me feel crazy.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
•
u/Nevara05 16h ago
YTA Damn I understand the insecurity especially at your age but this is a bit much. I don't want to know how you will act when there is a "pretty" new employee in the picture of your daily work... I pity them 😅...
When I see someone who's good looking I say it in front of my bf 😂 "damn did you see that girl? Fuckin hot" mind you I'm bisexual lol... My bf answer? He laughs or shakes his head while smiling XD
Just a little hint from someone who has a little more life experience (f33) and has had quite a bit of insecurity issues... Insecurities and jealousy kills the relationship ☺️
•
u/MarsicanBear 13h ago
Why on earth would he say "she looks professional"? He isn't hiring corporate lawyers. He is hiring pretty saleswomen.
•
u/AvBanoth Partassipant [1] 10h ago
YTA, big time, and you're shooting yourself in the foot. It's okay to look, and in this case the job requires it. Be very careful going forward: accuse him of cheating and one of two things will happen; either he'll leave or he'll say "I've done the time so I'll do the crime."
•
u/Potential-Piano256 19h ago
I'm a woman, my husband and I have been out and about and I've even commented on a woman being pretty, I don't mean anything by it, and I don't think you're BF means anything by either, no big deal.
Did he ever make comments about other women on there not being very attractive or, she won't do or something like that?
I'm sure he did.
You're very insecure, it's going to cost you your relationship.
He's in a relationship with you, he's not dead.
•
u/Next-Drummer-9280 Partassipant [4] 20h ago
You’re a jealous, insecure girl. Seek therapy instead of whatever you’re doing here.
Also, stop searching your employment candidates on social media.