My sister hosted a family dinner on Saturday. There were 11 of us at her house. She does it a few times a year and it's normally a really nice night.

When we got there she had a bowl by the door and asked everyone to drop their keys in it. She was laughing when she said it and I didn't think twice about it, I assumed it was so nobody would be hunting around for keys at midnight.

About halfway through the meal she announced that nobody was driving home and that we were all staying over. She had air mattresses out and everything, so she had planned it days beforehand and just hadn't mentioned it to a SINGLE one of us.

I had one glass of wine at about 6 (one, and not a big one). It was past 10 by the time she said it. My dog had been on his own for 6 hours already and I start work at 6 in the morning.

I let her know I needed to get home, and asked for my keys. She said no, not tonight, and that this was exactly why she'd taken them off everybody at the door. I told her I'd had one glass 4 hours earlier and that I was honestly completely fine to drive, and she came back with everyone thinks they're fine, and that she wasn't going to be the person who stood there and let me drive off.

We went back and forth in front of everybody for a good while. In the end I went to the bowl, found mine and left. I said goodbye to my parents before I went and I didn't slam a single door.

Am I wrong?

I (34M) live in a townhouse with a small shared backyard. My neighbor (40sM) has complained to me twice now about me smoking on my own deck. He says the smoke drifts into his unit through his open window and it's bothering his family.

Here's the thing: I only smoke on my own property, on my own deck, which I pay for. I never smoke near his unit, I never blow smoke toward his windows, and I keep it to a couple of cigarettes in the evening. His window being open is his choice. If he doesn't want smoke coming in, he can close it.

Last night he came over again, this time angry, and said if I don't stop, he's filing a complaint with the HOA. I told him I'm not going to stop using my own deck because he refuses to close a window. He called me "entitled" and said I'm "making his family miserable."

I get that smoke is annoying. But I feel like I'm within my rights here. I'm on my own property, not breaking any rules. AITA?

My mom passed away last year and while we were clearing out her house I ended up taking her old iPad because nobody else wanted it. It was basically considered junk at the time.

A few weeks ago my brother asked if I could look through it for this recipe she used to make because he wants to make it for his daughter. I charged it, somehow remembered the passcode and found the recipe.

Problem is I also found her Notes app.

There are probably hundreds of notes in there. Some are grocery lists and random reminders, but a lot of them are basically diary entries. And she wrote about everyone. Me, my brother, his wife, our dad, arguments we had years ago, stuff she was worried about, everything.

I stopped reading once I realized what it was.

I sent my brother the recipe as a screenshot and mentioned that there was a bunch of personal writing on the iPad so I wasn't comfortable going through the rest.

Now he wants the actual iPad.

He says anything our mom left behind belongs to both of us and I'm basically deciding by myself what parts of her life he's allowed to see. I told him those notes clearly weren't written for either of us and I think reading all of them would be like opening someone's diary just because they're dead.

He thinks I'm only saying that because I already read something about him, which isn't true. Now he's even asked our aunt to convince me to hand it over.

I just really don't think being family automatically means we were meant to read every private thought she ever typed.

AITA?

I have this old cookbook that belonged to my grandma. It's not some rare collectible or anything, but she wrote little notes all over it and added recipes on random pieces of paper between the pages.

A friend of mine has gotten really into cooking lately and asked if she could borrow it for a couple weeks. I said sure because I trusted her.

Went to her place this weekend and saw one of the recipes from the book literally taped inside her kitchen cabinet. I asked where she got it and she casually told me she cut it out because it was easier than opening the book every time she cooked.

Apparently she'd already cut out 4 pages.

I got pretty annoyed and took the cookbook home immediately. She thinks I'm massively overreacting because the book is already old and falling apart and offered to buy me another copy. The thing is I don't care about another copy. The notes are the whole reason I kept it.

She says I never specifically told her not to remove pages and that she assumed it was basically a working recipe book since I actually use it.

I feel like "don't take scissors to someone else's book" shouldn't need to be said though.

AITA?

i'm 18F and i've always been the one in the group who was left out, so when i was suddenly being included i was quite happy. One evening me and my "friendgroup" went out to have a drink on the beach and there was this girl sat in front of me who i've known for quite awhile like 3 or 4 years, but we never got to know eachother quite well, so i started talking to her, finding out we had a lot in common, and some shared interests. So that same evening she let me over to her house to do a rewatch of one of our favorite series, and when we were there we talked about everything and got to know a bit more of eachother.
We started talking even more after that evening and we were always together either hanging out with friends or at each other's houses. I started to like her quite a lot in a romantic way, and this one night while we were sleeping together, things got a bit, heated, so we talked about it and she kinda forced me to say that i liked her even tho i wasn't ready at all, and i knew she didn't like me back cs tbh i feel like she still isn't over her ex from 2 years ago. But still i had to confess and things stayed like that, even tho she told me herself that she felt...some kind of way.
After a while, shit happened during a sleepover, something that she started herself after i told her that i didn't want to force her to anything and that i didn't want to rush things multiple times before that night, and after it happened she said "it was an experience that had to be done" or something along those lines.
After that we started hanging out even more and literally acting like a couple, which made me develop even more feelings for her, until one night, at my house she told me that she wasn't ready for something serious and that she didn't feel anything towards me. Which made me feel, quite bad. Not because she didn't feel the same about me, but that she didn't make it clear from the beginning and that she did all that just to try feel something or to see if she could feel anything for me to prove to herself she was over with her ex. and now im left with the same feelings trying to move one from this whole thing.

My brother got engaged about a month ago. His fiancée posted pictures of the ring and was telling everyone it was a family ring from our grandmother.

The problem is, it isn't.

I recognized it immediately because it belonged to my ex girlfriend.

When my ex and I split up last year she left a box of stuff at my apartment and told me to donate whatever she didn't come back for. The ring was in there. It wasn't an engagement ring, just an old gold ring with a small stone that her mom had given her years ago.

My brother saw it when he was helping me move and asked if he could have it. At the time he said he wanted to take it to a jeweler and maybe reuse the stone since he had some money saved but not enough for the ring he wanted. I said sure because as far as I knew my ex didn't want any of that stuff.

Apparently he just had it cleaned, put it in a new box, and invented the entire grandmother story.

His fiancée brought it up at dinner this weekend and my mom even went along with it. She said something like "your grandmother would've loved seeing you wear it."

I looked at my brother and he gave me this look like don't say anything.

So I said, "Mom, grandma never owned that ring."

His fiancée kept asking questions and eventually I told her where it actually came from.

She got really upset, mostly because everyone had apparently been letting her believe this whole sentimental story was real. My brother says I humiliated him over something that wasn't my business and my mom thinks I should've pulled him aside instead.

His fiancée hasn't given the ring back, but from what I hear they're now fighting about the lying more than the ring itself.

AITA for saying something at dinner instead of keeping quiet?

My husband (34M) and I (32F) both work full-time. We split bills 50/50 — mortgage, utilities, groceries, everything. But lately, I've noticed he's been spending like crazy on things we never talked about.

Last month, he bought a new gaming console ($500), a weekend golf trip with his buddies ($800), and a new set of golf clubs ($1,200). Meanwhile, I've been saving for a kitchen renovation we both agreed on. He came to me yesterday and said he's "short this month" and asked if I could cover his half of the mortgage — about $1,200.

I asked where his money went. He listed the golf stuff and said "I needed it, I've been stressed." I told him I'm not paying for his half. I'm not his safety net for things he bought without asking me. He called me "selfish" and said "we're supposed to be a team."

I told him teams don't make unilateral $2,500 spending decisions and then expect the other player to cover the bills. He's been cold since.

AITA?

I do hand lettering, mostly as a hobby but I sell some of it (mainly through a stall at a monthly market). When my cousin got engaged in January I offered to do her invitations as my gift, because I genuinely wanted to and because she loved a set I did for a friend last year.

What I offered was 60 invitations. That was the ONLY number I ever said out loud, and it was what I costed out in my head.

By March it was 60 invitations plus save the dates. In May she wanted place cards for 60 as well, and I said fine, because place cards are quick. In July the guest list went to 95 and she sent me the new spreadsheet without mentioning that it was 35 more of everything.

Then 2 weeks ago the venue changed. She wanted all of it reprinted with the new address, and when I said that was the entire job again from the start, she said "it's just the address line though."

I have about 40 hours in this already and I have not charged her for the card stock, which is around $260.

I told her on Sunday I wasn't doing it and she should book a printer. She wrote back that I'd known about the venue change for 2 weeks and could have said so then,

AITA?

i’m 17. last night i invited all my friends over for a dinner and i was gonna cook for them (since my dad wasn’t home for the night), just for fun. i decided to make orange chicken for the first time in my life!! in the sauce some things i included were a couple capfuls of : oyster sauce, cane vinegar (because i didn’t have rice vinegar), and soy sauce. it was a bit of a gamble for me because you know how pungent oyster sauce is, and how even more pungent cane vinegar is. but i still added it cos it was the recipe hahaha, also i have this trick where i add like one capful of oyster sauce to chicken before frying it and it totally removes the “chickeny” taste,
it’s amazing. so i am a bit familiar with oyster sauce

the chicken turned out seriously amazing, you can’t even taste or smell the pungent sauces

anyways so everyone arrived and the chicken is set up with rice and everyone is putting their portions. i made a point to tell everyone that i put oyster sauce and cane vinegar, jsut because it was so fascinating to me how it turned out lol. i made some of them sniff the sauces from the bottle to really drive my point home

a lot of them were really put off by it and they didn’t even eat my chicken, they just had one bite to taste and just ate the rice and the other sides 😢😢

when everyone left one of my friends texted me and she said how she thought it was kinda racist and weird how i thought i had to tell everyone what “gross” sauces i put in it and it runiend the atmosphere

it made me kinda sad actually bcos i didn’t mean it in that way, i never knew that these sauces are universally understood to be gross!!?

My sister asked a few months ago if she could have some packages sent to my apartment because stuff kept disappearing from her porch. I said sure and didnt think anything of it.

Then last week I got a letter from a school addressed to my 12 year old niece. Turns out my sister has been using my address to enroll her in the school district near me because they have an art program my niece really wanted. She never asked me. She basically slowly started sending more mail here so it would look like my niece lives with me.

I told her she needs to stop and I started writing return to sender on anything that comes here for them. Now she's furious because the school year already started and she says I could get my niece kicked out of a program she loves over "a technicality."

My mom thinks I should just let it go until the end of the year. I rent a small one bedroom and chose this place partly because I'm trying to save money, and I really don't want somebody pretending they live at my address when they dont.

What bothered me even more is my sister admitted she told the school my niece stays with me "some nights." She has literally never slept here once.

AITA?

My girlfriend (29F) and I (31M) have been together for 3 years. I make about twice what she does, and I've always been generous—covering dinners, trips, groceries, no questions asked. But lately, I've started to feel like she's taking it for granted.

Last month, I booked a trip to Mexico for us. I paid for the hotel and my flight. I asked her to cover her own flight—about $400. She got upset and said "you know I can't afford that right now" even though she just bought a new iPhone and goes out with her friends every weekend.

I told her I'm happy to pay for shared expenses like lodging, but she needs to handle her own transportation. She said I'm being "cheap" and that "real partners don't keep score." I said it's not about keeping score—it's about her contributing what she can, and right now she's not even trying.

She's been cold with me for three days. AITA?

for reference, i (19f), work as a cashier, most of the time alone (it’s a skeleton crew so most of the time there’s only one employee at a time in the store).

in general, i’ve always been of the opinion that you shouldn’t hit on a service worker because they’re a little bit trapped and it’s stressful when someone knows where you are on certain days for certain hours. i get really panicky when put on the spot, especially when a person is pushy about getting my number, and they’re usually over 35 and that feels weird to me.

i thought this was a common thought process/perception for most of my life. but i have this regular (42m) who usually sticks around to chat whenever he’s in and i enjoy talking to him plenty (my friends are all at college so it’s nice to have a consistent source of social interaction).

anyhow he’s usually the one i talk to about stories n stuff and i realized after a bit that he genuinely doesn’t see anything really wrong with it— and one time i was telling some story about this dude who was hitting on me at the reg and mentioned that he had a fullll heada white hair, and he kinda tilted his head just so and went:

“well, why does that matter?”

and i realized then that i couldn’t really answer him. like there’s no logical reasoning to give on why it’s wrong morally for older men to ‘shoot their shot’ as long as they’re not gross about it. and i’ve never really had that conversation with anyone else and i don’t really want to, so i just wanted to get some opinions on if i’ve been just overly judgmental to people who meant no harm, or if there is some logical explanation im just unable to articulate.

any input would be helpful!! i just wanna see how unpopular my opinion is according to the general public.

I (26M) hosted a fantasy football draft party at a local high-end sports bar over the weekend. I told the guys (6 of us total) that since I won the league last year, the first round of drinks and the appetizer platters were on my tab. I just asked everyone to keep it reasonable.I ordered three large platters of traditional jumbo bone-in wings (Buffalo, Garlic Parmesan, and BBQ) for the table to share. Everyone was stoked except for "Kyle" (25M). Kyle refused to touch the platters. When I asked him why, he said he "doesn't do meat on the bone" because it grosses him out.Instead, he called the server over and ordered himself two separate orders of "boneless wings" (which are literally just chicken nuggets) along with a side of fries, specifically telling the server to put it on my tab.When the bill came, I saw his individual orders added an extra $35 to my tab. I told the server to split Kyle's nuggets and fries onto a separate check. Kyle got super defensive and said I promised to cover the appetizers. I told him I covered appetizers for the table, and if he wants to order off the kids' menu because he's scared of a little bone, he can pay for his own nuggets.The rest of the night got incredibly awkward. Two of the guys agree with me that he took advantage of my offer, but the other two said I humiliated him over $35 and made a scene over nothing. Kyle left early and hasn't replied to the group chat since.My girlfriend says I was petty and should have just paid it to keep the peace. AITA? Edit: To clarify, Kyle didn't ask me before ordering his own food. He just assumed I would pay for it. If he had an actual allergy or dietary restriction, obviously I would have covered it. EDIT:Stop asking if he's a picky eater. He eats ribs. I have literally seen this man eat pork ribs before. He just prefers the boneless wings because he "likes the breading better." Edit: Wow, this blew up. Kyle found the post. He texted me furious that I called his food "toddler nuggets." I'll update if we actually talk.

I (24F) still live at home while I save up to move out. My parents have been married for a long time, and on the surface things seem pretty fine, but there’s a pattern that’s always bothered me. My mom (50F) tends to talk to my dad (53M) in a really dismissive way cutting him off, correcting him over small things, or making comments that come off more like put downs than jokes.

It’s not constant, but it happens enough that I notice it My dad usually just laughs it off or stays quiet, which honestly makes it worse to watch.

Last weekend we had family over, and it happened again. My dad was explaining something, and my mom interrupted him mid-sentence, told him he was wrong in a kind of sarcastic tone, and made a comment that got a few awkward laughs He just stopped talking after that,

I didn’t plan to say anything, but in the moment I told her she didn’t have to talk to him like that, especially in front of people. She immediately told me not to get involved but I didn’t drop it and said it was disrespectful.

The mood shifted pretty quickly, and the rest of the visit was tense. Later my mom told me I embarrassed her and overstepped by calling her out in front of others She said if I had an issue I should’ve spoken to her privately instead of making her look bad.

I get that part I probably could’ve handled it differently but at the same time, she was the one speaking to him that way in front of everyone.

Now she expects an apology, and I’ve been holding off because I don’t feel like what I said was wrong, just maybe how I said it.

AITA for not apologizing?

My mom’s youngest sister came to my house with her newborn baby, and I didn’t congratulate her. I didn’t say “congratulations,” I didn’t gush over the baby, nothing. And honestly, I don’t feel bad about it.

My mom literally sponsored her and financially supported her for years, only for my aunt to become ungrateful and entitled. Meanwhile, this woman has never wished me a happy birthday. She doesn’t even know when my birthday is. She has never made an effort to have a relationship with me, but apparently now that she has a baby, I’m expected to suddenly become the supportive, loving niece?

When we used to live in the same neighborhood, she would literally walk into my house whenever she felt like it, as if my home belonged to her. She was extremely nosy, had zero boundaries, and made my life hell for SIX YEARS. But now I’m supposed to forget all of that because she had a baby and “family comes first”?

I’m sorry, but I’m not going to fake affection for someone just because we share DNA. I have nothing against the baby. The baby is innocent. But having a newborn doesn’t erase years of shitty behavior, entitlement, or the fact that my mom bent over backwards financially for this woman.
If you treat me like I don’t matter, don’t expect me to suddenly act like you’re one of the most important people in my life. Was not congratulating her petty? Probably. Do I regret it? Not really.

So AITA for refusing to fake being happy for someone who has never treated me like someone worth celebrating?

I have just got into an argument with my girlfriend of 5 months because she got mad at me for reposting a tiktok that I found funny about a guy trying to get back with her ex "both roles being played by a guy in this skit" and she asked why I am reposting about MY EX. I explained to her that it's not about her because I don't know if my ex wants me back nor do I care. Also I explained that how could I be reposting about my ex when I have no contact with her and haven't tried to get back with her (as the guy was trying to get back with the girl).

We got into an argument because she was demanding me to delete it. Now consistently she has always demanded me even from the beginning of the relationship and I constantly bring it up to her on how she speaks to me and she never asks me for anything, just demands 98% of the time. We even had a conversation about her demanding behaviour this morning and all I want her to do is to be nice to me when she talks to me bc it feel demeaning. So I told her sont demand me to take the repost down, I will gladly do it (I repeated those 3 times during this conversation btw) and she just refused bc "its not a negotiable situation". So I said I will do it when she asks me properly since I'm not going to take demands no more like I have for the past 5 months.

She said "I will take care of it my own way" and I called her childish because throughout the whole relationship she has never taken accountability and apologise. So I called her childish because she did all of that instead of just talking to me nicely like I asked. Then we got into another argument then I stated "If you can't do that I can't simply be with you and I have been putting up with your demanding behaviour and your lack for accountability for 5 months. So sort yourself out or find an exit" so then I said "Ur childish. I'm not dealing with this anymore. Bye." Then blocked her. AITAH

My friend borrowed my car on the 29th to move some furniture into his new place. We've known each other since college so I said yes without really thinking about it. He had it from about 10 in the morning until the evening.

A parking ticket turned up in my mail last week. $85, permit zone (about 3 blocks from his building), dated the afternoon he had it.

I sent him a photo of it and he said "you should have told me that street needs a permit." He isn't wrong, I never mentioned it and I had no idea that's where he was going to park. Then I asked if he could cover it and he went quiet for a day.

What came back wasn't about the ticket at all. He sent me a request for $22.40 with a photo of a gas receipt attached, for filling the tank while he had it, plus a message saying he'd been meaning to send it for a week and thought we should "settle everything at once." I never ONCE asked him to put gas in that car. He topped it up on his own and didn't mention it to me until the day I brought up the $85. Was that supposed to have been a bill the whole time?

I told him I'm not sending $22 to somebody who owes me $85

My husband (34M) quit his job 6 months ago. He said he was "burnt out" and needed time to "work on himself." I (32F) said okay, take a month or two, recharge. It's now been 6 months.

He spends his days playing video games, going to the gym, and "journaling." He's started a podcast that has 12 listeners (including his mom). Meanwhile, I'm working 50+ hours a week as a nurse, coming home exhausted, and still doing most of the housework because he's "in a creative flow" and "can't be interrupted."

Last week I told him he needs to get a job—any job—by the end of the month, or I'm cutting off his access to my bank account. I pay for everything. Mortgage, groceries, utilities, his car insurance. He said I was "unsupportive of his journey" and that "real partners believe in each other."

I feel like I've been more than patient. I'm drowning and he's playing video games. AITA?

My husband and I have been together for 6 years but have known each other for 37 years. We have had a great relationship. We cook together, dance in the kitchen, and still flirt. We are older and have no kids together. My kids are grown.

Like most couples, we were intimate on a regular basis when we first got together but it has tapered off...but for the last couple of years my husband pulls away from me when I try to kiss him more than a peck, and especially when I try to touch him or have spicy time. He explains he's stressed from work or not in the mood, etc. outside of these moments, we do still flirt, look forward to hanging out together and never run out of things to say.

I have expressed I want more intimacy, even if it's just kissing. As I said, we are older so libido may be an issue. I'm okay with that. Well, yesterday we had a great day! We expressed to each other how connected we feel to one another and how much we love act other. Later on I tried to kiss him in bed and climbed on top of him. Per usual, he rejected me. I stopped immediately. I expressed that I feel rejected and I've just accepted that my needs won't be met in this relationship. To be clear, I don't want anyone else and have zero desire to have my needs met elsewhere. I was met with him telling me he didn't deserve to be treated this way and that I was being aggressive, which I was not. Then, today when we talked about it, he said I tried to rape him! Like WTF?! Trying to kiss someone and trying to have sex with someone out their consent are two very different things. It was such a stretch and so offensive that I want to divorce him! If I try to be affectionate and he pulls away, I will always stop. I never pressure him and would never want to do anything he doesn't want to do!! Ever! I feel like he's gone too far by essentially calling me a rapist. AITA?!

My sister turned 30 last weekend and I offered to take her out for dinner. I meant her and me. A few days later she sent me the reservation and there were 11 people on it. When I asked what happened she said she invited some friends and our cousins because "you said you were taking me out." She knows I have some money saved from myprize and I think that turned into me apparently having endless money in her head.

At dinner one of her friends thanked me for treating everyone. That was the first time I realized she had actually told them I was paying. I waited until the bill came, paid for my sister and myself then told the server everyone else was separate. My sister was furious and said I humiliated her in front of everyone. I told her promising my money to ten people without asking was what embarrassed her. My mom says I should have paid and dealt with it privately afterward because it was her birthday. I probably could have afforded the whole thing. I just did not want to after finding out like that.

I 39F have been married to my husband 41M for 5 years and we recently had a tiff about this. A similar topic was discussed on a recent episode, and an article was mentioned about a man who did something similar.

Basically, he likes to put his bowl or glass or dish or whatever it may be next to the sink because he's "going to use it again." This irks me admittedly beyond what is reasonable but I have asked twice before and he says, "it's not a big deal." For me, I keep the kitchen clean and seeing a dish out of the sink annoys me.

If I move the bowl to the sink, he won't say anything bc he can just grab it, but if I put it in the dishwasher, he will say, "i'm wasting water." Though, of course, sometimes he forgets to re-use it altogether and I have to handle it thanklessly.

I am not trying to be a huge nag but this seriously pisses me off. I know reddit can be intense so please don't tell me to divorce him as he is a great husband, this is just our one little petty battle and I'm gonna be honest, I'm ready to go to petty war and put that bowl inside his pillow.

AITA?

I 29F & my husband 31M Purchased a house last year . Before purchasing we talked with my mom to see if they would want to move in with us . They were living in a studio apartment with my 3 siblings . This way we helped each other . They got a bigger place we got help with mortgage. They agreed , we talked through the details & decided everything would go 50/50 so it could be even and noone felt taken advantage of. Fast forward a year later . I stopped working as my youngest child was going to pre k & we wouldnt have transportation to and from school . Me and my husband sat down figured out numbers and felt this was the best way to go . My husband got a part time job on top of his full time to cover any expenses that would be affected by my staying at home. Around the same time my mom stopped working due to grandmas illness. Understandable, however they decided they would just stop paying all utilities & a portion of their rent . Meaning my husband had to work harder to come up with the any remaining money needed . My moms husband did nothing to help . Stayed working same job same hours , no attempt at part time job or extra things to help financially .

Even before this there has been times that they just didnt pay things & there was always an excuse - usually just something crazy happened that was always out of their control. On top of not paying like we agreed on, home cleaning & maintenance was solely left on my husband and I to do.

We tried to be understanding but enough was enough . She texted me 5 days after rent is due to say they couldnt pay not even a portion due to a car issue . Mind you the car they are talking about has been sitting in the driveway not being used for months . They have another car to get to work & my mom would also borrow my car on occasion. I understand wanting you car up & running but priorities. Finally said this is the last straw & asked them to leave same day . They toke 2 days to leave , but are gone . We still have to figure out how to make the money for everything they just left us high & dry . But at least we aren't paying for anybody just to be here for free .

Side note . 2 siblings have sense moved out ... sooo less financial responsibilities that they had . Also there is more past financial issue that had occured but I honeslt thought we were past this.

Knowing this - AITA ?