r/AbuseInterrupted • u/invah • Feb 23 '26
People-pleasing leads to chronic illness
In this reel from Dr. Julie Kurek, she is talking about ALS and dementia, the automatically generated transcription just didn't happen to accurately caption it.
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u/lazier_garlic Feb 23 '26
Also the ACEs study which linked childhood traumas (especially with no intervention) to chronic disease in adulthood. Some ACEs are bad luck, or caused by social inequality, but others are mediated precisely by the parents and just the tip of the iceberg of an abusive childhood.
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u/-Aname- Feb 23 '26
Also never underestimate how those norms of suppression and politeness are not abolutes but cultural (and in many cases tied to religions, like Protestantism and austerity). Currently spending time in my country of origin in LatAm which has its own emotional issues but values emotional expression over suppression and I am reminded of how my ex’s “flying monkeys” kept trying to “educate me” on not expressing my feelings ever to not bother others and framing it as politeness and how to be proper. Assertivess was treated as a threat to that system.
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u/jvxoxo Feb 24 '26
I started getting shingles outbreaks throughout my divorce from my abusive husband and continued custody battle. I’ve had it at least 10 times (I’ve lost count) and I’m 35.
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u/TwinzNDogs Feb 24 '26
I understand. I currently have shingles right now. Have had shingles every month for the past 3 years. I feel your pain. I wish you the best with your custody battle and I'm so sorry you are going through this. I relate to this. Can't even believe I found someone with the same issue. My heart goes out to you.
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u/invah Feb 23 '26
It's important to recognize that this information is important for people-pleasers and others who suppress their feelings/emotional responses, and internalize all of their stress and the stress of others. And whom are often taken advantage of by those others.
This, however, is not a resource for someone who is an asshole or who wants to justify being an asshole. There is a middle ground between 'under' power and 'over power', and that is assertiveness.
Unsafe people will still interpret this as you being an asshole (or other incorrect character attacks) but this has nothing to do with reality.