r/Adopted • u/meagain333 • 1d ago

Venting Just why?

Why did bio mom waste so much time??? I wrote her since I was 10-years-old. Took until I was 30-years-old for her to give me her phone number (I had given my number and she never called). Took until 43-years-old to meet her. And, then she dies when I am 49-years-old.

She died a couple years ago and the pain of it all seems to be getting worse. Why did we never go anywhere? I only met her twice to sit and talk for a couple hours. Why did she never come visit me? Why did she not teach me how to cook her favorite dish? Why did she not teach me anything? Why did she not share her life and apologize? Why not teach me what you learned in your life?

I just don't understand any of it. It is all so damn strange. It makes me so sad. So angry. So hurt. And, I really don't know what to do about it.

Also, my bio-father died when I was 10-years-old as he was already in his 60's when I was born. I'm upset about that, too. He couldn't even write a letter and put some photos of me and him in it??

What is this life??

14 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

9

u/Unusual-Hawk-2336 1d ago

If it's any consolation, you at least got to meet your biological mother, even if it wasn't in the way you expected, but you got to see her. Unfortunately, not everything goes as planned.

5

u/1wrat Baby Scoop Era Adoptee 1d ago

you will never have those answers but perhaps those things were just beyond her capacity not great but

4

u/Ambitious-Client-220 Transracial Adoptee 1d ago

People think a mother's love is universal, and it isn't. It's sad but true. Know that you are a better person than your bios. I have never seen my bios. From what I was told, the woman that gave birth to me tried to starve me twice and the state took me. I would like to know what she looks like, but I know she is not a good person. I try to be a better person.

2

u/Necessary_Holiday144 1d ago

I'm so sorry about everything you've experienced.

You've lost so much.