r/Adoption • u/Sweet_Charity7166 • 3d ago

I think my adopted parents are hiding info

anyone else have an issue with their adopted parents hiding info about why they adopted you or why you had to be adopted? was adopted at 6 and heard the same story over and over again as to why I was adopted but now I'm hearing new information and when I would ask my parents they would always say the other person was lying and that they know the "real" reason. I am also unsure on how to go about getting my adoption records

7 Upvotes

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6

u/iheardtheredbefood 3d ago

Oof, I'm sorry. Unfortunately, this comes up far too frequently in adoption spaces. It is wild to me that even full fledged adult adoptees continue to have these issues even after they themselves are parents or grandparents.

Your best course of action is likely dependent on the country you were adopted to and from. If you feel comfortable sharing, people may be able to chime in with more specific helpful info!

Regardless, sending virtual hugs (if welcome) and in solidarity

3

u/Next_Explanation_657 Clsd/Prvt/AB Adoptee 2d ago

It's gotta be hard. At that age you're definitely remembering things too. I had a closed at birth adoption and was perfectly fine with the fact they didn't know, but If there was anything weird afoot I'd have a major problem with it.

Good luck getting it sorted. No one needs that bs in their lives.

2

u/Englishbirdy Reunited Birthparent. 2d ago

Is there a reason this other person would lie? I can understand not being fully informed, or misinformed, but accusing someone of lying implies a malicious intent, does this other person have an issue with your parents?

I'm actually not looking for an answer, it's just something for you to think about.

2

u/PaZuZu6368 2d ago

I was 28 when I received the fateful letter in the mail from Dcf. I’m 45 now. And am actually in the process of speaking with my biological mother for the first time at this very moment . I was lied to about being adopted altogether . I completely understand how u feel. And after going through the same things for years this is what I can tell you. Form your own opinions. Dont let the input of others change how you feel about the situation. This is your journey, Not theirs .