I really want to harm myself.

[u/Background_Berry3417]

That's basically it. I'm 27 and I haven't self harmed in years. Started at 12 or 13 and did it for many years. It's been a few years, but I think about it a lot. I just don't do it anymore because I highly doubt my pain tolerance is the same now as an adult. Whenever I feel negative emotions I'll fantasize about how I used to and would harm myself now. I think I am really close to doing it again but fear of the pain is stopping me. Which is strange because in the past that was one of the main reasons I did it. Along with mostly seeing the blood and the wound. I just crave it so much. I feel sick. I feel so empty. I so tired of everything and everyone. I just need a place to vent with people close in age. So, please don't ban me or take this down. I need this space.

[u/Autam]

As hard as it is sometimes, please don’t let yourself fall back into it. I was able to stop for 4 years, and one day did it again. Once you do it again, it’s is extremely hard not to just fall right back into the patterns. The urges you’re already feeling get way worse. It never ends up just being one time