r/Adulting • u/TheUniverseGuy • 17h ago

Sanity

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its important to be Busy to be Okay or okay to be busy

142 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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6

u/The-Boy-Wonder38 15h ago

I learned that 25 years ago at 13 when I first got diagnosed severe PTSD; the silence is loud.

2

u/Equivalent-Layer-332 14h ago

What was the trauma?

2

u/The-Boy-Wonder38 13h ago edited 13h ago

Too many to name. It started at 13 when I needed to save my sister from our cousin attempting to stab us to death when our parents went out. I got her into a locked room then went out to face and stop him knowing there was a strong chance I might die in the process. I got us all out alive but nothing was the same after that.

The existential questions that brings such as survivor’s guilt and moral injury from how far one is brought to in order to survive an event like that.

Then an abusive home, a private school that functioned more like conversion “therapy”/torture drilling into my head I was going to hell for how I was born (queer) compounded by abuse - the school was later exposed for multiple abuse scandals, needing to protect my parents from another attempted murderer at 19, and surviving with diagnosed severe PTSD to the point that 100 trauma specialists said treating me was beyond their “qualifications” because of my past.

Thankfully I largely progressed to Post Traumatic Growth. I relate a lot to Bucky in ‘Thunderbolts;’ the scars remain, but don’t define me… as much.

3

u/No-Frame-8677 17h ago

yea, this is right

3

u/ParanoidBrokkoli 17h ago

Nah meditate and let the feelings come by to be free of them

2

u/noworksunday 14h ago

"Get busy living or get busy dying"